Meet the Family: Kirsten

I am going to do something new... write a series of posts!  I thought that it would be fun to introduce you to our family, one member at a time.  The little 'About Me' section doesn't quite cover who exactly we are or what our family dynamic is like...

I was born in California, joining my mom, dad and older brother, Kirk.  (My dad got his doctorate in veterinary medicine, with a specialty in immunology.  My mom got her Master's degree in music education.  She taught for 25 years in our school district.)  We moved to Canberra, Australia about 4 months later.  My dad was doing post-doc work in veterinary medicine.  We stayed for about 2 1/2 years, and then moved to Madison, WI.  We moved again, just a few days shy of my fourth birthday, to Colorado - where we all still live.  Most of my extended family still lives here in Colorado.  My parents divorced when I was eight, and they both live here in the same city as me, just a few minutes' drive away.  My brother lives with his wife and three boys in the outskirts of Denver.

I attended public school and graduated in 1989.  The experience was pleasant enough - yet I could have done without the social bullsh!t.  It is crazy how, after all these years, the same social cliques are still present - on Facebook of all places.  I struggled through two years of college, and then left to take a break.  When I turned 21, I went to stay with my dad in Brisbane, Australia, while he was doing some experimental work at the University there.  I stayed 4 months.  It was the absolute most blissful time in my life.  Every day was different, and I had absolutely no agenda.  I got to know myself very well.  It is hard to wrap your head around this thought, but in the midst of the day-to-day bustle of family and work life, you lose yourself.  You never have those quite moments to just be with your thoughts.  I had that opportunity, and I will treasure it always.  My creativity just absolutely flowed.  I taught myself to quilt.  Paint with watercolors.  I wrote poetry and did extensive journaling.  It was wonderful!!

When I arrived home, life abruptly changed, kind of setting up a tail spin that lasted twelve years.  I moved back in with my roommates, and got my dog, Kai, back from the family that kept her while I was in Oz.  I broke up with my long-distance boyfriend.  I started a new job, waitressing, which I had never done before.  Those first few months were pretty comical.  I went back to school.  I started dating the bartender who worked at the same restaurant.  A year later we moved in together and got another dog, Yuki.  I dropped out of school again.  I took on an additional job at a day care.  I took on another additional job cocktail waitressing.  (That's right - three jobs!).  We bought a house.  I left the day care and became a nanny and left cocktailing job.  A year later I took on a string of waitressing jobs at a few different restaurants to supplement everything else.  (Yep - back to three).  Dropped the additional waitressing job when I was promoted to assistant manager at initial job.  Began taking college classes again in the fall of 2000.  I was determined to get my degree in Elementary Education.  I got my first ever 4.0 GPA.  Every semester thereafter (six total), was a 4.0, save one.  I will never get over that A-.  The professor was a bitch.  Women's Studies....go figure.  I was never an 'A' student before.. mostly a just-scraping-by average student.  A new leaf was turning!! In the meantime, my boyfriend was going back to school as well.  He was attending law enforcement academy.  He graduated about ten months before I did.  He took a job with a police department in the outskirts of Denver, about a hour commute each way.

I graduated, but had no teaching job yet.  I was still with the restaurant, and I was still watching the kiddos during the summer months.  I had been with the restaurant for ten years now, and with the kiddos for six.  I juggled a lot of responsibility during those three years of school - but I survived!  That spring that I graduated (2003) we got engaged and sold our little house and bought a bigger and better one.  I landed a teaching job that August, with about five days to spare before the school year started.  A rough beginning for a first year teacher, but it was the most rewarding experience.  It was a small, rural district about a 30 min. commute from home.  I loved, loved, loved those kids.  They were exasperating, challenging, funny and full of life.  Several were migrant kids who spoke only Spanish, some had a relative in prison, some were abused at home or lived with an alcoholic, and some were perfectly 'normal'.  It was tough, but I was given a long leash to teach as I was able, and so I did.  We performed plays, had contests, picnics, reading circles, and long discussions about the realities they faced outside of school.  I got married that spring, in April.  (April again!!!)  No sooner had I opened a joint bank account, changed my name on absolutely everything and opened all of the wedding gifts, the honeymoon was over.  Sixteen days.  We had dated for 10 1/2 years and only managed to stay married for sixteen days.  But that is what happens when one of you is having an affair with a coworker.  And it wasn't me!

Now we enter an especially brutal and dark period.  Even though I had been renewed at the teaching job I loved, I sought out a position within the district I lived in, because it would pay more.  I had this new bigger, better house to pay for.  On my own.  I got the job.  I packed up my schoolroom and I packed up his stuff (thus discovering the affair).  In June, my beloved dog Kai was escorted across the way to where all good dogs go.  That. Sucked.  That was almost enough to push me over the edge.  Enough loss!  I did some therapy.  I wrote a little.  I rattled around a big house, and felt very lonely.  I still had Yuki for company, so we walked.  A lot.  Well, as much as an older dog can handle.

I dug into my new teaching job when school started back up that fall.  I got a puppy, Abbi.  Things were looking up.  I was still working nights and weekends at the restaurant.  Keeping busy felt good.  That November I decided to try out eHarmony.  I was never going to meet anyone otherwise.  I had a long list of deal-breakers.  I was going to be very specific, because I was not going to make the same mistakes again.  Within the first week, I was sent the profile of the man that would later become my husband.  But, I had to wade through a lot of other riff-raff first.  I had worked my way through my prospects, getting to the stage where I would meet them in person.  There was the weirdo engineer from IBM that checked out all of the other women who passed by our table during dinner.  There was the hockey player from Denver.  We went on two dates.  I insisted on going dutch both times.  I think that pissed him off because he never called again.  There was the city engineer from Boulder who was steadily dating someone else, but was still trying out another possible prospects.  There was the mama's boy who wanted me to meet his family as soon as possible.  With the exception of the hockey player - they were all first (and only) dates.  I began to lose heart in the process, and gave up in February.  I didn't renew my membership and left it at that.  There was one guy (Dean) that I chatted with a lot through the eHarmony message system, but he hadn't written back since January.  He would have no way of contacting me (I hadn't given out my personal email or phone number), but I figured that he was no longer interested.

In March, I got a cryptic email in my school email account.  I knew in a second that it was Dean.  He had only three pieces of my personal information to go on to have found that email address.  1. My first name.  2. I taught second grade.  3. He knew the city (and thus the school district) that I lived in.  He did a search and found me.  Just to be sure, he sent a rather ambiguous email that only I would understand.  I remember that moment so well.  I had just set my class to read for 20 minutes because it was DEAR (drop everything and read) time.  I traditionally checked my school email during this time, to stay on top of anything I needed to address.  There it was.  I smiled so big... my heart started to pound.... Could it be??  I wrote him back an equally ambiguous email.  He responded almost immediately.  I extended DEAR time another 15minutes... The messages flew back and forth fast and furious... and by that evening, we were on the phone for the first time.  I can't describe the feelings here... to some it may seem 'creepy' that he was able to figure out how to contact me because he no longer had the ability to do so through eHarmony, but to me it was awesome.  It meant that I had made enough of an impression on him that he was determined to find me through the only other means he had. 

We met face-to-face about a week later.  I met his son, Jordan.  We went out on dates every week.  We went skiing.  We went hiking.  We went to concerts.  I introduced him to my family.  We drove to Oklahoma and he introduced me to his family.  We got engaged.  We moved all of his and Jordan's stuff into my house.  It is now 'our' house.  I quit my restaurant job, ended my long time nanny job (the kids are now in high school and college - I miss them!!), and we got married that July.  Yeah, that's right.  Five months!  That was six years ago!  We had three kids, got a cat, escorted Yuki to her journey beyond, flushed a few fish and got several more.  We are now a very happy family of six, with a dog, a cat, and several fish.

We started homeschooling four years ago, after Jordan finished the first grade in public school.  We rarely go to church, for a variety of reasons, but it doesn't mean we aren't a family of faith and spirituality.  We love to go on bike rides, go camping, hiking, skiing, snow boarding and we love, love to travel. 

I love to quilt - I have about five different ones all in various stages of production.  I am *sort of* learning how to knit.  I love to garden and work in the yard.  Except when it is hot.  I love to write, I love to read and I love teaching.

Life is good!