Sunday, May 17, 2009

Graduations

It is graduation season once again. Within our circle of family and friends, three young women are drawing to a close one chapter of their lives and moving on to the next. They are bright, capable women, and I know that many good things are in store for them! Many congrats to Colleen, Angie and Amelia.

As I was sifting through the vast selection of graduation cards at the store the other day, I picked up one that played Pomp and Circumstance when you opened the card. I always tear up when I hear that piece. It sounds so majestic and victorious. "Look at me in my cap and gown!" As I was looking at this particular card, I instantly felt a pang of sadness that our children, by virtue of homeschooling, (most definitely likely) won't (endure?) that experience of entering a large arena filled with friends and family and 400 or so of their classmates and walking across a stage to receive their diploma. Looking back at my own graduation ceremony experiences, I'm not exactly sure what they will be missing though. Sure, the music and the speeches are all nice - if you remember it. For my highschool graduation, I walked into the arena with some guy - I had no idea who he was or that he was even in my class. So much for feeling like our class was some big 'family'! With four hundred students in our class - are you kidding me? When I graduated from college, our ceremony had to be moved indoors at the last minute due to an impromtu May blizzard. No pomp, no circumstance, and no dignity... we had to sit on the gymnasium floor because they couldn't gather enough folding chairs in time. At our Mom & Pop Academy for Higher Learning, we could do up a ceremony much better than that.

Speaking of, we have celebrated several of our own graduations are here lately... Jordan graduated in age from 8 to 9. He has earned a little more freedom, and a little more responsibility... Rylan graduated in age from 2 to 3. She moved on from diapers to 'big girl' pants. She's riding a 16" bicycle. She pours her own juice, gets her own snack, helps with the laundry and the dishes... She is quite an independent little girl. Owen has graduated from toddling to outright walking. He can now fall asleep on his own (which is a huge milestone IMHO...). Each little graduation feels good, but it also makes me sad. Every little change marks the passage of time to me - and time is going too fast.

One of the foremost reasons that we homeschool is to keep the kids at home and preserve the years of childhood for what they are - a time to play and be a kid. It may sound overprotective but it is what it is. Childhood goes by so fast and I don't want to miss any of it. I want to be there for every milestone and serve as counsel all along the way. The societal pressures to grow up before the time is right, the mass-marketing of products to children and all things Disney just drive me nuts. (Hannah Montana? Oh puh-leez...) I find that whenever Jordan gets together with the neighborhood kids (public school) or with friends he knows from his short stint in public school, these kids have moved into some dangerous social territory already... The young girls next door challenged poor Jordan to try and hug the older girl across the street. He is naive enough (due to nature, not nurture!) to think that they are just inviting him to play "fun" games with them. They are also working hard to expand his vocabulary. They could make a sailor blush, if they wanted too. All of these kids, when engaged in group play, are nasty, competitive and downright mean. We have had to cut playdates short due to arguments that breakout over the Wii. Now, look at the flip side. In the two years that we have been attending Park Days, I have yet to witness even a minor disagreement. We typically have around 15 or so kids on any given Park Day. On nice days, the number can swell to around 25. They range in age from infant to 12 or so. All of the kids play together - transitioning in and out of different activites with ease. The kids are polite, imaginative, supportive and kind. Now I ask you - which group has been properly socialized?

Graduation implies leaving something behind as you move on to something else (most likely bigger and better). Many high school students are eager to graduate from school and leave "it" behind. I don't blame them. The constant competition, peer pressure and phoniness of it all always bothered me. I don't feel like we are depriving our children of any important, life-changing experiences if they don't go to public school. I think they will be all the richer for having the positive experiences that they are having in our homeschool community.