Simple Woman's Daybook Entry

Outside my window... A bright morning with blue skies and a breeze that is a little on the cool side.  Perfect.

I am thinking... About Kathy.  Kathy was the mom who hired me many, many years ago to nanny her three children.  I worked for the family for nine years.  Kathy passed away last week after a courageous five-year battle with brain cancer.  I attended a party hosted by the family in her memory yesterday afternoon.  It was wonderful to see the kids - all three have spread their wings and left the nest, and I haven't seen the older two girls in a few years.  Kathy was a wonderful mom and great mentor - she will be missed very much.

I am thankful... That it is Labor Day weekend.  It is nice to have an extra day to get caught up on stuff.  I am also thankful that last week's big transition to a new platform (Yahoo Groups to Bigtent) for our homeschool group went relatively smoothly.  So far about 40-45 members have moved over and it was pretty painless.  The other 70-80 members have yet to even open their email invitation.  Typical.

From the Learning Rooms... The rest of our curriculum arrived from Rainbow Resource on Friday, so I am itching for Tuesday to arrive so we can start.  This was the language arts component - All About Reading for Owen, MosDos Opal and Shurley English for Rylan.  Looking through the materials, I am most excited for MosDos with Rylan.  Her anthology looks awesome - she has already read a couples stories on Friday as we unpacked the boxes and looked over everything.

In the kitchen... Leftover blackened tilapia, much to the family's dismay.  Time to go shopping for the week.

I am wearing... pjs. The outfit of weekend blogging champions!

I am creating... Last night I opened up Pinterest to get the ideas churning for Halloween costumes.  Owen and Colin want to be Minions, and Rylan wants to be Scarlet Overkill.  Owen's and Colin's will take a lot of work, but I am excited to start.  It involves foam, a glue gun and lots of yellow spray paint.  Rylan's wig, gloves and dress have been ordered.  Luckily the red dress can double for any holiday dress needs this upcoming season and her fall violin recital.  

I am going... to drive to see my aunties later this afternoon.  They called this morning to report that they have two flats of garden tomatoes that need a new home.  I could have cried with happiness!  I can't wait to start a batch of sauce this evening in the crockpot.  I can smell it now.... ahhhhh...

I am wondering... what to write here.  Moving on...

I am reading... I am still working on Elizabeth Berg's The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted.  

I am hoping... for rain this week.  It's been too dry.

I am looking forward to... Fall!  Fall is my favorite.  Thinking about Halloween costumes has put me in the mood..

I am learning... How to carve and shape foam with scissors.

I am hearing... I can vaguely hear the kids arguing about BoomBlox on the Wii.  I have headphones on, which helps.  I am listening to my current standby for writing music - Coldplay.  

Around the house... Dean fixed the Wii last night (hence to sudden urge to by the kids to play).  It was making a horrible whine.  He looked up a video on YouTube about how to diagnose the sound and fix it.  He and Rylan took it apart and tweaked whatever little metal part was out of position and it was fixed. yay!  Today I will probably gather up the Calvert stuff and clear the kid's school shelves for their new books, papers and things.

I am pondering... What the hell to do with all the Calvert books.  

One of my favorite things... Those first hints of fall, like the slightly cooler mornings and the first few leaves on the fruit trees beginning to brown and fall.

A few plans for the rest of the week... This is an unusually quiet week.  Just school, scouts for Owen and violin for Rylan.

Here is a picture for thought I am sharing... 

Colin, June 2011

I came across this yesterday, and this picture never fails to crack me up...

To read more entries and visit a variety of other blogs, go here...

A reflection on Calvert

I'm free!!!

The past few weeks have been pretty hairy.  It was an absolute fight to the finish to get Calvert wrapped up for the year.  I have been keeping mum about Calvert because...well... it's complicated.  It is a sorta-like/hate relationship.  It is everything I despise about one-size-fits-all education, yet it's everything I like about keeping myself accountable and on track.  Which I did a HORRIBLE job at this year.  I can't drag three children, kicking and screaming all the way, on this road to intellectual enlightenment (ha!) if they continuously misplace their books, can never find their pencils, and not get the big picture of what this is all for in the first place.

What we did accomplish this year:

Jordan learned to take notes.  I learned that it is a good idea for me to teach the skill of note-taking.  He learned that turning in late assignments affects your grade.  I learned that I hate having to scan in assignments at 11:59 pm to make the midnight deadline.  He learned that writing isn't so bad.  In fact, Jordan realized that he loved writing.  I learned that Jordan had actually been listening to me for the past eight years every time we approached writing, composition, grammar and so forth - because his 'voice' in his writing is fantastic and he really knows how to construct a good sentence.  Sentence diagramming is difficult and makes us both tear our hair out.  (The geek in me though secretly loves it). NaNoWriMo, assigned by his Calvert teacher, was especially helpful in drawing out his writing voice.  Writing a short story was something I would never in a million years have asked him to do, and yet it was because of Calvert that we both made this discovery!   He learned algebra.  I learned that I still remember algebra. (happy dance)  Jordan learned how to type faster.  falls out of chair laughing.  He went from 25 wpm to an astounding 29 wpm! Jordan earned his 8th grade diploma, and will be moving on to public high school next year.

Rylan learned that dropping your pencil on the floor 518,397 times a day does not get you out of your schoolwork.  She learned how to spell 'people' and 'because'.  Rylan learned multiplication, just don't ask her to do it at anytime other than when she is in the mood.  Which is never.  Rylan learned to contort her body into 37 different pretzel shapes while sitting in her chair, all of which face away from the desk, and coincidentally, away from her schoolwork.  Rylan read two novels this year - and has quite the reading pile for the summer.  She also took an avid interest in ASL, after reading a short story in her reading anthology about a deaf boy going to a concert.  I may need to pursue this for her.  Rylan loved her online teacher and her classmates, so she wants to do this all over again next year.  The social bits, of course.  NOT the schoolwork.  

Owen learned to read.  This accomplishment alone is what kept me going through the darkest of schooling hours this year.  Several times in the past couple of weeks, he has read signs around town, carefully sounding things out.  This makes my heart sing.  He loves his online teacher, his class, and anything to do with math.  He has learned to like holding a pencil, and writing with it.  (just a little).  He loves to draw and paint.  He is more than willing to sit down and do schoolwork, as long as it doesn't interfere with his Minecraft or lego building time.  Which is never.  Which is why I can't ever get him to work with me for longer than 2 minutes without a fight.

This year has been full of tears, lots of yelling on everyone's parts, lots of high-fives, cajoling, swearing (under my breath), deal-making, begging, pleading, a-ha moments... unfortunately the bad is far out-weighing the good.  It's partly the program and partly me.  I've been lax, lazy, disinterested, and fighting my own battles.  The spillover has not been pretty.  Some serious soul-searching needs to take place this summer about what the next step will be.

All I know is that this is not how I envisioned how our homeschool experience would go.  Eight years into this journey, my (our) primary purpose has always been and always will be to put childhood first.  Play (and not the screen type) has as much - if not more importance in shaping a child's mind, than worksheets, descriptive paragraphs and addition problems.  I don't like the complicated, regimented, competitive and petty environment of public schools - in the younger grades, especially.  At the high school level, these social stepladders do have *some* merit, I suppose, when it comes to beginning to discover who you are and what you are made of.  I also know that these lessons don't only happen within the confines of a classroom.

The work Calvert requires of the kids is not inspiring, with the exception of Jordan's reading curriculum.  Hands down, that was fabulous stuff that has helped us cover so much literary knowledge this year.  Otherwise, the caliber of the rest of the curriculum is... meh.  I am pretty disappointed, actually.  It was actually painful to shelve all of our tried-and-true stuff last year when it came time to unbox the Calvert books after they arrived.  Throughout the entire school year I constantly found myself referring back to our other curriculum for this and that, because it was just so much better.  I am confident in Jordan's abilities because of what we used in the past.  Jordan has been the model student all these years, as we have traveled this homeschooling route.  He's done the work when asked and without question, and performs very well when the time comes to assess his knowledge and skills.  The younger three kids have so many issues I don't even know where to begin.  In reflecting on their behavior this past year, a lot of it comes down to a sense of entitlement that they have.  They feel that they are entitled to their free time, so schoolwork has become a secondary, painful experience for them - and having very boring, worksheet-style learning as the primary source of instruction is NOT helping that situation.

So I have a lot of thinking to do.  I'm doing some major decompressing at the moment, which is good for me.  Our calendar is completely blank, with the exception of a weekly violin lessons and the occasional field trip.  I'm not even having the kids do swim lessons.  I can tell I am feeling more than a little shell-shocked from the stress of this school year.  This is a huge sign for me that maaaaaybe Calvert isn't the best fit for us.

The CSB

I'm afraid I don't exactly *love* Calvert anymore.  It's been a such a tough beginning (this trimester), as we have pushed on and forward, yet falling ultimately further behind.  I know that things will drastically improve in December when several hours in our schedule will free up, and that is the hope that I am hanging on to - with all I've got.  I feel like a doofus for saying in the past that I wanted to be accountable to somebody, because that would help us stay on a schedule.  Our insane schedule has driven me to drinking (coffee - and tons of it) and constantly updating vast spreadsheets I've made of assignments, due dates, pacing schedule and so forth.

1. I now officially hate being accountable to somebody.  I feel guilty if we take a half hour to ourselves and go to a park, or if I have to run an errand.  We're so behind it feels like every hour has potential to get just 'a little bit more' done, so we have minimal contact with the outside world (doing stuff that is fun, and stuff that we want to do).  I hate to admit that this accountability has been good for us, because we have accomplished more schoolwork already than we accomplished all of last year.  I just don't like losing so much of our freedom.  The freedom to make your own schedule is a big part of what homeschooling is all about.

2.  I am no longer okay with somebody else picking out our curriculum.  In the past week it was suggested in Owen's Kindergarten curriculum that I reread a story about a walk a child takes with fuzzy farm animals no less than 10 times.  10 TIMES.  It was to be reread during each lesson - and discussed ad nauseam - for 5 lessons in a row.  Yes, each rereading used a different approach or covered a different aspect of the story (predicting, color of animals, fur/feathers/scales, sentence structure, blah blah blah)  Owen was ready to poke his eyes out with his big yellow pencil.  Rylan just completed the most horrific math chapter on bar modeling.  She is a whiz with three digit addition with carrying, three digit subtraction with borrowing - done the traditional way, and then they throw this crap at her.  I HATE SINGAPORE. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.  I've been standing before my schoolbook cases - now covered in dust - looking longingly at the awesome curriculum we had to shelve when Calvert came along.  History of Us, Story of the World, R.E.A.L. Science 4 Kids, Shurley English, All About Spelling, Meet the Masters, Wordly Wise 3000.... so sad.  so so sad.  There just isn't time, and it breaks my heart, because this was good stuff.  I've got to find a way to work it in, or substitute things, or...something.  Something!

I am pretty sure I will not pull the plug here mid-year, but I am undecided if we will continue with Calvert next year.  I constantly sit and fantasize about how I would take what I have learned about scheduling and pacing, and make it work with the curriculum that I want to use.  The other factor is that the kids do love their online class time - and there is no way to replicate that.  What to do, what to do, what to do...  uugh.  Sometimes I don't like being in charge.  Here we are at that stupid crossroads again - what if I make the wrong decision?  What if they fall even further behind?  Am I ruining them by keeping them home?

Homeschooling is not for the faint of heart.  You've got to be strong in your convictions because you will tested.  Constantly.  I am strong in that I want them home.  I could never surrender those Aha! moments of first words, first writing, first reading to another teacher.  Never.  I would never surrender them willingly to the social ladder of the classroom, the chaos of the lunchroom and playground, or the unrelenting schedule of homework, book reports, school functions and so forth.  I want them home so that their day can go at a reasonable pace, so that they can get adequate amounts of sunshine, playtime and downtime, so that they can go long in math and short in writing, or switch it if the mood arises, so that we can Google that question, YouTube that demonstration or build that next creation.  This I am strong in.

Where I am weak is how to go about it.  There is no ONE way - yes, I know that.  But our way over the past few years hasn't worked very well.  I'm weak in the execution of it all.  I'm weak in multi-tasking, delegating, time management - and with four kids that is a big liability.  My weak side has been winning lately.  First, I sabotaged our schedule by allowing Jordan and Rylan to do an activity that was clearly in conflict with school.  It has created a huge, huge problem, in fact.  I didn't factor in the time expense, the $$ cost to participate, the shuttling kids back and forth, the group snack headache and $$$$...  These are all things that I loathe about activities like this.  For Jordan, the reward does not even come close to the pain.  In fact, there has been damage done to relationships because he is so unhappy with his group.  For Rylan, the reward has been mostly worth it.  She has learned some new skills, made a new friend and looks forward to participating.  I am just too quick to agree to things.  I really need to sit down and work out the cost analysis before saying 'yes'.  I am also not managing our time very well.  Hours slip by without much to show for it, as I spend the time doing silly things like looking for lost items, going back to the store for forgotten things, shuttling kids back and forth to stuff, and making spreadsheets about how I should be spending my time.

All of this weakness has led to some not-so-good-things.  First of all, more than once I have woken in a cold sweat - certain that I forgot to pick up a kid from somewhere.  I have even got up, and gone to the kids' rooms to do a headcount to make sure everyone was accounted for.  There is just way too much picking up/dropping off going on, and every day is a different routine.  I check the calendar about 20 times a day because I am constantly afraid I am forgetting to do something or that I am late for something.  Panic attacks.  Daily, if not hourly panic attacks.  I panic about the schedule, the schoolwork, the house repairs, the towering stack of unopened mail (what is in there?), my knee rehab, two upcoming road trips... my heart races, my chest hurts and I think I am having a heart attack multiple times a day.  No joke.  There is also the crushing depression.  It's back, and with a vengeance.  I can't get anything done.  I am so overwhelmed, I can't care about the unopened mail, the unbalanced checkbook, the unfinished compositions, the dirty house, the child that is still having multiple 'accidents' a day, or even writing on here very much.  I don't have a clue about where to start.  I went to my doctor a few weeks back to ask for help, and I am back on an antidepressant.  This time I am trying out Prozac.  It is too low of a dose in my opinion, but it is a step in the right direction, and we'll up the dose next refill.  There has been some improvement, but the panic attacks have not stopped.  :(  I also think about where I was a year ago, vs. now.  I've gained nearly all of my weight back, due to lack of exercise because of my knee, and way more comfort/stress eating than I care to admit.  I know that the daily walking/running I was doing last year played a big part in keeping the depression at bay, and that I am soooo close to getting the all-clear to start walking daily, at least.

I think that this fall has just been particularly hard.  It's been a whole slew of a lot of little things that added all together made up the perfect clusterfuck stress bomb.  Let's just call that the CSB.  The new school 'thing', the hailstorm and the subsequent house and car repairs and the constant - daily! - meetings and phone calls with insurance agents, contractors, subs, shopping excursions and actual repair work, the knee surgery/rehab and the 30+ doctor appointments I've had since July, the insane activity schedule and so on, and so on, and so on...  I can't wait for December.  Even though Nutcracker craziness will be a part of the first half of December, that's okay.  We've actually really been enjoying that, for some reason that escapes me right now.

First impressions of the Calvert Curriculum

I will let my extended absence from my blog speak first and foremost as to how the whole ‘Calvert thing’ is going.  I have no time anymore, it seems.  I knew it going in that it would be a tough transition from how we used to do things, but I think there have also been some unintended consequences as well as some positive results as well.  Here are my impressions so far..

Attendance

Colorado Calvert is officially an online public school, so they have to take attendance.  For a homeschooler, the Colorado State Statute requires a minimum of 174 days, at 4 hours per day, for a total of 694 school hours per school year.  The state, of course, never checks that you actually met this.  The way a public school takes attendance is by counting heads every single school day.  (a fellow homeschooling friend jokes that she take attendance by noting if any of her boys have gone missing, lol...)  The way Calvert handles attendance is to require that the student do something called a checkpoint.  A checkpoint is a short 1-5 question review that covers the material taught in a particular subject that day.  In Jordan's case, a typical day means he has a checkpoint in each category that he worked on in that day's lesson: math, grammar, composition, reading comprehension, history, science.  As long as Jordan completes at least one checkpoint on a given day, he is marked 'present'.  The checkpoints are time-stamped.  We can do school on any day of the week, even on holidays, and if he completes a checkpoint that day, it is considered a day spent in school.  This is where online school gets brownie points for being flexible.  So far, attendance, with the exception of October Count has not been an issue for us, and it's that 'thing' I needed to hold my hand to the fire and keep me accountable, and hold my kids accountable too.

October Count

October Count is the God-forsaken day that the bean-counters in the Ed. Dept. devised to tie actual attendance to per-pupil funding.  If the child is present on that day, the school will get funding for that pupil for the year – something in the range of $7-8 K.  October Count for most public schoolers is on Oct. 1^st.  Parents get a slew of letters and emails in the weeks before reminding parents that only death should prevent their child from attending school that day.  Otherwise, they had better damn well show up.  I received much the same communication (in a much nicer tone), but because Calvert is an online school, their October Count window was from September 24^th to October 8^th.  I was in charge of making sure that each of my children completed a checkpoint, watched a video, attended class on class days, played a game and did an enrichment activity BY NOON, every. damn. day.  Only problem is, we unfortunately have scheduled activities most every morning that require us to be out of the house, so getting stuff done in time has taken just about every last ounce of sanity I had left.    I had never intended for these activities to be on the schedule in the first place, when I first signed up for Calvert.  I had made a strict personal rule: NOTHING ON THE ACTIVITY SCHEDULE BEFORE 3 PM.  I had visions of unrestricted mornings that required no rushing, yelling, searching for clean underwear or breakfast-in-a-baggie in the car just to get to some class or group activity on time.  That madness was reserved for kids that went to public school!  Well, that was the grand plan before I blew out my knee (which requires multiple daytime physical therapy sessions) and before I received a Lego practice schedule that meets for 4x a week in the mornings, (it used to be late afternoons).  L  It has been pretty ugly around here getting this October count requirement met.  Early mornings make for cranky kids.  Tight schedules to get kids where they need to be make for cranky moms.  The kids were doing checkpoints on half-finished lessons because it was 11:59 a.m. and we HAD to.  That is no way to get an education!  It’s not Calvert’s fault.  It’s the bureaucratic we-need-data bullshit I ran screaming away from 8 years ago.  Anyway – it is past October 8^th and I am celebrating.

Lessons

Each Calvert 'Lesson' equals a full day of school.  Each child's teaching manual contains a list of the subjects and activities to do for that day's lesson.  In Jordan's case, he has a list that rotates just a bit, adding in computer on this day, or switching back and forth between history and geography... so every lesson is not exactly the same lineup of stuff to do - which he and I both like.  I like that he can at least get part-way through a lesson, complete a couple of checkpoints to get his attendance logged for the day, and then we just pick right back up where he left off on the next day.  The only issue with this is that he is really supposed to be doing an entire lesson in one day.  We have a pacing guide that we are supposed to follow.  We are now significantly behind, but Jordan has made great personal strides in the past week or so, and is now getting through about 80-90% of a lesson in a day.  He’s almost there!  

Rylan has the same lesson line-up, except there is one major annoyance.  Her checkpoints, with the exception of math, have all been combined into one big one.  So even if we manage to do 5 of the 7 things she was supposed to cover, we can't do the checkpoint yet because we didn't finish.  So that day's attendance is screwed, unless we flub her answers and get to those activities we missed on the next day.  But, again, we are really supposed to do it all in one day.  It is Rylan's schedule that I am most concerned about because she is by far the busiest kid with her insane activity schedule.

Owen’s lessons are the easiest, but I have zero time to do any of the enrichment activities with him – which are the activities that make Kindergarten so awesome in the first place!  I don’t know how families with multiple kids in this program do it, I really don’t.  I am exhausted.  Each kid needs one-on-one, which means - after bouncing back and forth all day, about a 12 hour school day for me.  (not them..me.)  This includes taking what work we can in the car to fill whatever length of time we will be gone and so forth.  Every minute of every school day, somebody is working on something with me, unless I have made the blessed escape to physical therapy.  So far, this really sucks.

Math

Okay, no offense to any of you Singapore fans out there, but Calvert uses Singapore and we all hate it.  We have used MEP up till now, with Teaching Textbooks and Khan Academy as a resource.  Who ever heard of a 14 year old begging to do math 'the way we used to'?  I have!  I have no idea if I can pull some strings or not, but we can't do a whole year of this.  Singapore does such an awful job of presenting material (a short, difficult-to-understand paragraph) followed by a mind-numbing amount of repetition that calls for no variation or creativity....  MEP WE MISS YOU!  I am vowing right now that we are picking up with MEP again and carrying onward in our own way.  I can't do this to my kids.  Singapore will kill math for them, and I have been fighting like mad to keep the wonder and magic of math alive as they progress.

Reading

In Jordan's case, I am thrilled with the Language Arts component that Calvert offers.  He is learning so much with each lesson (which illuminates for me all the stuff I wasn't covering, but should have).  Jordan read Jack London's To Build a Fire during the first week. You know?  Of all the literature I read in Jr. High and High School, it was THAT short story that I remember.  Any time I tromped through the snow, I would think back to that story.  Jordan has a special appreciation for it since he has done the Klondike scout campout every year, and can personally identify with dealing with intense cold.  He is recognizing that literature does not take hold of you, unless you can make a personal connection with it.  He has also read a slew of short stories by various authors such as Edgar Allen Poe, Ray Bradbury and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.  He’s checked out a couple Sherlock Holmes mysteries at the library because he really likes that literary style in particular.  Bless him.

In Rylan's case, she uses a standard classroom reader.  I do like the activities associated with it, and there is some writing involved, which makes me happy.  The rest of her work is pretty standard, and sort of uninspiring, if you ask me.

With Owen, I am reading stories or poems to him and then we discuss them.  He is learning  his letters and sounds...finally.  This is all stuff he has been working on with Reading Eggs for the past year, but only now has he been willing to sit down and actually move a pencil around on paper.  Ever since we finally broke through that barrier, he is now a willing participant in coloring, writing, cutting and pasting.  He is a whiz with shapes and counting.

The Assignments

Not only do the kids do a checkpoint for their subjects, they also have work to turn in.  Each week the teachers post a list of assignments (that are a part of the regular lessons anyway) that are due.  I have to scan them, save them to a separate file folder for each kid, and then submit them.  The first couple of weeks were tough, because it was almost 20 files.  Now it is about 8-10 that I send in on a weekly basis.

The Teachers

I love Rylan’s and Owen’s teachers.  They are real pros at this, and have easily made a connection with the kids through the online classes.  Each kiddo has class twice a week – one is math and the other is language arts.  Owen’s class is about 20 minutes long.  He puts on headphones and talks part of the time.  His teacher has the ability to turn on each student’s mic as she chooses – that way they are not all talking at once and producing feedback.  So every now and then I will hear his voice pipe up with an answer to a question she asked.  It is the same way with Rylan’s classes.  Her classes last about 30 – 45 minutes.  Owen’s class is also interactive, so he can use the mouse to do different things on a work surface on the screen, when it is his turn.  I think that is really cool.  Jordan’s classes last about an hour, and they don’t chat via headphones, except in his small-group math enrichment class.  Jordan’s teacher is new this year and I can see that she is learning the ropes just as we are.  She is a very nice lady, but a bit reserved and hard to read.  Jordan likes her well enough, but there is not a personal connection yet.

The Fieldtrips

We have had two ‘fieldtrips’ so far.  The first was a school picnic that met the Friday before the first day of school.  The kids got to meet their teachers face-to-face for the first time, and meet any other students that came.  We had a good time.  Owen’s teacher gave him a pencil and a lucky penny, and you would have thought he had won the lottery.  Rylan’s teacher has a very lively personality and she took to her immediately.  Jordan joined a game of soccer with the older kids, within five minutes of arriving.

Our second ‘fieldtrip’ was a gathering at a library about a month after school started.  The kids split off into two groups – older and younger, and did literary activities for a couple of hours with their teachers.  They had a fun time and could now connect better with classmates since they had seen them online a few times.  Jordan made quite the connection with a girl, actually.  They now exchange multiple texts every day.  Unfortunately (for Jordan, not for us) she lives over an hour away.  They have been trying to figure out a way to meet up ever since the library gathering.  We’re suggesting the families meeting up for dinner or ice cream at some half-way point.  We’ll see…

The Backlash

Unfortunately, a stinging remark or two about making Calvert our chosen way to homeschool has been directed my way, and left their mark as I have incredibly thin skin when it comes to that type of thing.  Well, any type of criticism, really.  It’s bad enough that I already question absolutely everything I do as the right thing to do every second of the day.  There are definitely opinionated camps as what is the correct path to follow in regards to how organized you should be.  Homeschooling is starting to feel as lonely as ever.  I’m worried about my mental health with the amount of stress I am under to get the work done, and how the schedule leaves zero time to fit in anything that could be considered down time with the kids – like a play date or a nature walk.

So that is Calvert for us at this point in time…I’ll reassess in a few more weeks.  By that point both Lego and my physical therapy will be done, so we will have gained back some crucial daytime hours that are so negatively affecting us right now.  

The New School Room

The school room is finally finished and ready for sharing!

After negotiating with Dean for some more space, we decided to clear the front room to make a dedicated room for homeschool. (Surprisingly, even after 7 years of homeschooling, we never had a dedicated space to work in. We would either cram around a desk in the office, or the kitchen table, or spread out in the living room... it was never ideal.) Our supplies and books were never all together in the same place. The piano got moved to the living room (sorta sad about that because now that room looks and feels cramped), and Dean and Jordan's maker space was taken down and may be set up again in the basement. It was a problem anyway because the little boys would not leave the tools alone. With the room clear, in the two weeks before my knee surgery I painted the walls like a mad woman, completed an art project, we made a trip to Ikea and we hung up new window treatments. I am so excited with the results!! I have dreamed of this room for years...

Here is the before. This was a golden yellow paint. I loved this color... In the mornings, when the sunrise would light up this side of the house, it would just glow - not in an irritating way..more like a soft glow, like warm baked bread. I remember picking out this paint. I was newly single, and picking out some chairs at LazyBoy. This yellow was used in the showroom in a little family room setting, and I just knew I had to have it. I got the paint (Benjamin Moore), and painted some rooms this color, and chose a softer yellow for other walls. Over the years, it got a bit dingy. Well, a lot dingy. I had also unfortunately used a flat paint, so I couldn't scrub pencil, marker, greasy hand prints or anything else off of it. By painting day, I was overjoyed to see it go. I was also excited that the very ugly brass light fixture that illuminated *nothing* was on its way out the door as well.

Here is the after...

I have True Confessions of a Homeschooler to thank for the inspiration for the desk. Had our bank account been able to take the full hit, we would have done the four separate drawer units as well, but....in using it for the past few weeks as it is right now, I like the airiness of it just being the table, alone. We made the trip to Ikea in late July, making a day of it. We purchased the following items:

2 Linnmon table tops, in white, with soft green trim around the edges
8 Adils table legs, in silver
3 Jules Jr chairs, two in white, one in pink ;)
1 Vilgot Swivel chair, in black, for Jordan
1 KNAPPA pendant lamp, 2 spotlights and the Sanda track

I love the black chair as it is super-comfy. I am buying another one for me, in fact, tomorrow, as we will be driving right by Ikea on our way to a school picnic. The one in the pic is Jordan's, the other three are for the little kids. The table tops are terrific. In the past few weeks they have been subjected to pencil, crayon, acrylic paint, ModPodge, Elmer's Glue and cat puke. It all cleaned up beautifully. Mr. Clean's Magic Eraser is your best friend.

We love the new light. I affectionately call it the Giant Cauliflower. It took some considerable dexterity to put it together, but it puts out a ton of soft light on the work surface below. Here is a pic I took at night... The light looks like it is glaringly bright, but that is just the way the picture turned out - but look at how well it illuminates the entire table! The table measures 5' x 5', so it is a pretty big surface.

This is my pride and joy. I first encountered an alphabet wall very similar to this in our pediatrician's office about three years ago.  Ever since I saw it, I wanted to make one for our home, but there was never the appropriate wall space for it. It does take a serious amount of wall space. When this room came to fruition, I thought it would be the perfect place for it. Most of the letters came from Hobby Lobby, the rest from Michael's, and the plate from Target. It took about three solid days of shopping, designing, painting and so forth to finish it. Some letters were as-is, but most of them were embellished in some way. It was hard to get a good shot of the wall from straight-on because of Giant Cauliflower, but here it is. I think my favorite is the letter "B". It is a fancy box from Michael's that is in the shape of a Book, with Butterflies on it. I painted a wooden letter B, in Black, and glued it on. :)

Alphabet Wall Art

This bookcase was built many years ago, and had been banished to the garage a couple years back. I painted it with a fresh coat of white paint, and it lives to see another day! The math manipulatives, which have  lived forever in two large wicker baskets, are now properly sorted and easy to find in their new containers, from the Container Store. LOVE that place, and they were a nice price, too! The shelf next to it holds three stacks of Calvert teaching manuals, one for each kiddo. The other four shelves hold each kid's pile of school stuff.

And that's it! School is in session, and so far, so good. We had a lot of discussion about personal work habits before pulling this room together. Having one giant table won't work for everybody, as some kids need their space. We addressed the needs and concerns for each kiddo.  No, we don't all sit around this table and slog away in our work for hours and hours until it's done. I think over the past week we maybe spent a grand total of 1 hour all sitting at the same space.  During the day the kids come and go as they rotate turns working with me, and it's nice to have such a large table surface to push some work to the side, and pull another pile closer and spread out. Calvert is especially manual-heavy, so I may be managing four different books at one time - plus the kid's stuff!

Many, many thanks to my husband for putting the tables and chairs together and installing the new lights.  The kids helped with the chairs, each getting a turn putting their own chair together.  I feel very, very fortunate to have this space for us to work in. :)

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Simple Woman's Daybook Entry

Outside my window... Beautiful sunshine for now, but it will be a hot one today...

I am thinking... oh my head is full this week... I am thinking about my upcoming ACL surgery and I still can't decide if I want a donor tendon or do a patellar graft.  I am thinking about how the craziness of house repair will most likely start while I am recovering next month (joy).  I am thinking about house repair.  The insurance adjuster totalled our roof, gutters, shutters, screens, some of the windows, some of the trim work, the paint, and maybe the garage door?  Luckily the contractor we will be working with can do all of the work, but it will be a headache to coordinate it all, get the new stuff picked out, get approval from the HOA and so on and so on...  I feel an urgency to get it all done NOW, before our contractor gets booked elsewhere, and we will still be waiting as the snow falls.  Our car is scheduled to get it's body repair work done - in NOVEMBER.  It will be in the shop for 16 days!  I have never made claims before, so this is all new to me and I am just astounded at the damage estimates.  Dean, the OK native, seems nonplussed by it all.  As I walk around the neighborhood, I see more and more roofer signs every day in various yards.  This is going to be one very noisy neighborhood for the next several months.  That really bums me out because I love to have the windows open in the fall, but it will be impossible to get any schoolwork done, listening to hammering all day.  

I am thankful... That Jordan's cell phone was found.  He lost it as he was packing up at scout camp this past Saturday.  The phone wasn't even supposed to BE AT CAMP.  This is also his third phone, so he got lectured inside and out by both of us.  To top it all off, he got home on Saturday, and was leaving in less than 24 hours to fly to OK to stay for the next month.  Not an ideal situation.   Jordan called both boys he was tenting with and asked them to search through their stuff - and they did - to the extent that any 13/14 year old boy knows how to search.  It was finally found it a couple days later (AFTER Jordan had flown back to OK and AFTER Dean had driven 2+ hours back to camp to search the tent site) in, of all places, a baseball gear bag of one of the boys.  He found it while at practice.  I can imagine that his stuff in his room must be in layers, and the camping gear was thrown on top of the baseball gear and the phone slipped out of wherever it was in the camping stuff and fell into the baseball stuff.  Dean had noticed at camp that Jordan and his tent mates had the messiest tent of everybody - so it is no surprise it got lost.

I am thankful that Jordan earned his Life scout rank while at camp.  His three merit badges that he earned while there which helped him over the hurdle.  I had no idea he was on the verge of that.  A long while ago I made the conscious decision to detach myself from his scout activities and badges and so forth.  It is his journey, his work that will get him where he wants to be, and he is in charge of getting there, at his pace.

I am also very, very thankful for insurance.  State Farm really came through with fair and accurate assessments of the damage.  I wish it hadn't taken so long, but I know now that it took time to get adjusters here from out of state, given the scope of the damage across the area.

From the Learning Rooms... I got a call from our principal at Calvert yesterday, and she went over the assessment tests and discussed placement with me.  It all went as I expected - Owen in K, Rylan in 2nd, and Jordan in 8th.  Jordan's math skills are coming in at a solid 7th.  I guess I was expecting that too, it's just hard to hear, and it's a huge hit on my personal pride - because it's my fault.  We have been too busy and too distracted these past couple of years and have fallen behind, and it is precisely why I have cleared the decks in our schedule, so to speak, for this coming year, and beyond.  The boy can run circles around me doing math in his head, but when it comes to the easy stuff - the stuff that always trips you up on a test, he stumbles every time.  I was hard-pressed NOT to look over his answers before I packaged everything up and sent it off last month.  We are ready for pre-algebra, and that is where she assured me he would start.  They use Singapore at Calvert.  I'm not a fan of Singapore, but I suppose it's not fair that I say that because we've never done it before, but in looking it over, it seems, well...a bit boring and very linear?  We love using MEP, and I think MEP does a fantastic job of stretching the concept all around in different ways to drive home how to approach an equation.   I refuse to drop MEP once we start Calvert.  It will be a supplement - I just can't let it go.  Anyway, the curriculum should be arriving just about the beginning of August.  That will give me the time I need to plug away at our schedule, and do a soft start with all of them.  It will be most brutal on Jordan, who will have done next to nothing all summer, with the exception of Minecraft. (the bane of my existance).

In the kitchen... I am making rhubarb crisp this morning for breakfast.  I wound up with a ton of rhubarb when the hail destroyed my plant.  I was able to salvage quite a bit, and the plant is already making a nice comeback.

I am wearing... pjs.

I am creating... A calendar and chore chart for the kids.  I am annoyed by them asking all the time what we are doing and when, so I got a large white board calendar and color-coded dry erase markers to fill it in each month.  The smaller-sized kitchen calendar is too pretty to muck it all up with scribbles all over the place.  Plus, I want the kids to begin the habit of adding their own stuff.   For the chore chart, I am going with a piece of sheet metal in a frame, magnetic chore cards and lots of tape, so we'll see what I come up with.  Pinterest has been a great inspiration.  I promise I will post when it is done.

I am going... Physical Therapy this afternoon for me, and Rylan to the orthodontist after that.  She may be getting her lower braces on today.

I am wondering... How to manage the stress... I can only walk so far for so long.  I miss running.

I am reading... Still working on The Happiness Project, and then I picked up three new reads from the library: Firefly Lane and Fly Away, both by Kristin Hannah, and Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives, by Richard Swenson.  I've seen that title referred to in the past couple of books I've read, so I am taking a look.  Dean also ordered a book from Amazon for me - Smart but Scattered Teens, by Guare, Dawson and Guare.  Jordan is really struggling with executive function, and I need this to help me ease up on him and get off his back.  His behavior has improved tons in past few years, but it still comes down to being able to focus - and as you can imagine, schoolwork, being able to finish a task and remembering to do things are the biggest issues.  I suppose it is timely because I also discussed this very issue with his psychiatrist at our last check-up.  I wanted some advice, routines, resources..whatever,  to help Jordan get some self-management skills in place.  First, he scoffed and said that even his patients in their early 20's still struggle with that.   And then you know what he recommended??  A sticker/reward chart.  Again.  Three years later, we are having THE SAME EFF'ING CONVERSATION.  I need this book, and we need a new doc.

In the garden... Nine, rather beaten-up tomato plants that have about a 50/50 chance of making it, chives that won't quit, and a really plucky rhubarb.  And a nice selection of weeds.  Still.  I know...

I am hoping... For patience.

I am looking forward to... therapy today (ready for some new exercises) and a summer movie tomorrow with the kids, followed by swimming.

I am learning... just for kicks, I looked up how to check your Google history to look up things I've been searching for.  And here is what I've found.  I spend waaaaay to much time on the computer.  I need to set a timer for myself!

I am hearing... Coldplay's Ghost Stories (I LOVE THIS ALBUM!), and the kids playing in the garage.  So far this morning Owen has shot himself in the eye with bug spray and had a shoving match with Colin.  I don't know why they like playing in the garage.  All they do is ride their bikes in circles, search for spiders and get into stuff they shouldn't.  

Around the house... lots of dust bunnies because Abby is shedding.  I will be contacting the contractor today to set up a time to look over shingle samples.  We aren't changing the color, but I suppose we need to pick something.  I really hope the HOA moves quickly on this.  I imagine their office is flooded with requests already.

I am pondering... how this will all come together, and when, and how much it will set us back, financially (the house, surgery, school)

One of my favorite things... Ice cold McAlister's Sweet Tea on a hot day

A few plans for the rest of the week... violin lesson, movie, swimming, a Luau party at our church and Rylan begins girl scout summer day camp next week.  I need to get her water shoes for the canoeing portion.

Here is a picture for thought I am sharing... 

Two things: First is Jordan's first GoPro YouTube video that he edited and set to music.  He must have figured it out how to do it all on his own - now he needs to teach me!  He just uploaded it this week, within hours of arriving in OK, and after conferring with Dean over the phone about the finer details of music credit and so forth.  This is Dean and I on the Mind Eraser (if you have vertigo issues - DON'T WATCH), in May.  We got the front seat, and Dean is wearing the GoPro.  I loved the ride, but screamed the whole way - thank goodness there is awesome music for you to listen to instead.

And here is a picture Colin took of Rylan walking by the pool at swimming lessons last week:

I love the splash and the reflection...

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A change is on the horizon..

Colorado Calvert Academy

yep

It's no secret that this year has been difficult on the homeschooling front.  Or last year.  Or the year before that.  Or the year before that.  Each year has presented its own unique challenges, and the majority of them were mine in the making.  Apparently I thought that since I was a HSAHM, (homeschoolingstayathomemom), I had oodles of free time on my hands.  So I volunteered up the wazoo for whatever I could get my hands on in an attempt to prove myself to my toughest critic: me.  It totally backfired.  I learned that being too busy with fluff means that you won't have time to educate your kids.  My kids are not lacking in ability, but they are severely lacking in instruction time, and as the years have flown by, the accumulative effects are showing.

The lack of time can't be addressed until I clear my schedule.  This year has shown a very sharp decline in doctor appointments, thanks to resolving my shoulder issues last spring, and my BR last fall.  These appointments have been sneaky time-wasters.  I am resigning from our homeschool association's board, effective in May.  I am stepping down from leadership in the Girl Scout troop, also effective in May.  After three years, it's time for another mom to take the helm and share the burden.

So with all the 'free time' on the horizon, I intend to fill it with the things that had been desired all along -long lazy trips to the library, museums, afternoons spent reading, playing games and craft projects.  And I will have this time because someone else will be doing the legwork of the planning, the curriculum procuring, the grading, the feedback (some), the record-keeping.  That someone is Colorado Calvert Academy.

The clouds of discontent have been looming for years.  We knew the present situation wasn't working, but the answer was never to stop homeschooling.  We (Dean and I) love the freedom it provides, and we want the kids to stay at home.  But.  With days and days going by with minimal progress, what was going to be the catalyst for change?

For one thing, I have trouble getting things done when there is minimal accountability.  I am not the type of person that ever tried to sneak sloppy work by the boss in the hopes of squeaking by.  I was a type-A, straight-A student.  Sloppy is not acceptable.  But when there is no one looking over my shoulder, reminding me that I really need to stop surfing the internet and get schoolwork going, or that I need to stop wasting time in a fruitless effort to communicate with the unwilling masses of our homeschooling association, or that working on the finances of our Girl Scout troop during school time is not necessary...I will fritter away the hours.  Day after day.  I need accountability to keep me on track.  After seven years of not punching a time clock, I got lazy.  Very lazy.

Looking down the road, in the long-term, I feel a rise of panic when I realize, deep down, that our children will not be prepared to lead the kind of life we are hoping for, if nothing is done to change our course.

So enter Colorado Calvert Academy.  A fellow homeschooling mom has been using Calvert since her daughter was in K.  She has talked about their experiences over the years, but for whatever reason it never really appealed to me.  She used Calvert via a virtual school, and I think that was my turn-off.  I didn't want the pressure of staying on someone else's schedule.  Now I see that that very thing is what I need most.  In return for joining an online school and jumping through their hoops, I get a top-notch curriculum for free (you can do Calvert curriculum at home - to the tune of $1200/year/student), the teaching support, field trips, potential school friends for the kids, and relief from the financial burden of purchasing my own curriculum from at least 15 different sources on an annual basis.  The $$ savings will be huge.  HUGE.  Also factor in the time saved researching different curriculums - I have spent HOURS trolling the internet for new stuff, different stuff, ways to use stuff... on and on...  Not to mention, knowing how much to do in a day, pacing, working in too much of a subject area into the schedule or not enough... well, staying on schedule period...  I have always been akin to planning waaaay too much into a day.  The kids get burnt out and so do I.

We start when school officially begins, just after Labor Day.  I can't wait!!!

Simple Woman's Daybook Entry

 

Outside my window... It is a cool crisp morning on what promises to be a sunny day.  Our ash tree is absolutely gorgeous right now with red, orange, yellow and green leaves, all at the same time.  I love, love, love this time of year.

I am thinking... About my surgery tomorrow morning.  This time tomorrow my PS will be taking his marking pen and drawing his surgical road map all over my chest.  I've got to remember to remind him that I don't want my nipples looking off in different directions..

I am thankful... For good friends.  Thanks for the support, advice, meals and so forth!!!

From the Learning Rooms... I've found that elusive reading piece of the puzzle for Jordan!!  On a whim I checked Satori Smiles (see my blog roll) to see if she has updated.  It has been almost a year..  And lo' and behold she had!  I have had 100% success with the different curriculum that she has recommended.  It was how I learned about All About Spelling, Growing with Grammar and a host of others.  This time it was a reading series that she had ordered for Satori from Mosdos Press.  I was instantly smitten.  I have such a weakness for curriculum.  This is absolutely what I was looking for.  It is rich with a variety of genres, vocabulary, comprehension...  Happy Sigh.  I ordered 'Jade' for Jordan, as that seems like a good fit for where he is at right now.  Check out the table of contents - what a reading list!!!  I also took the bait and looked at Sadlier, aaaand came away with five more workbooks for Owen and Rylan.  I am such a sucker...

In the kitchen...  I am prepping a couple of meals with what we have here, but a shopping trip needs to be made before tomorrow.  I honestly don't know if I can fit it in, but I don't want to leave Dean in a lurch either.

I am wearing... Standard blogging attire (robe and pjs).  The rumor that homeschoolers hang all day in their pjs is so not true.  We usually get dressed by noon.  ;)

I am creating... Not much at the moment...

I am going... on a Brownie/Daisy field trip just after lunch.  We are riding the city bus today and then playing relay games in a park so that the Brownies can wrap up their Fair Play badge work.  Rylan has ballet later this afternoon, and Jordan meets with his Lego Robotics team.  Somewhere in there I need to get some groceries and a couple last-minute things to prepare for tomorrow.


I am wondering... Oh jeez... I just want to keep my mind from going into overdrive thinking about tomorrow and all the days beyond.  The time is finally here and I am just trying to keep from freaking out about all that could go wrong.

I am reading... I have my bedside table all loaded up with good reading material for the next several days.  Upon the recommendation by a friend, I have One Thousand White Women: The Journal of May Dodd, by Jim Fergus, and about three others that are halfway done... I am looking forward to the chance to rest and read!


In the garden...  Turnips that need to be picked.  I just purchased some sweet basil, oregano, rosemary and thyme to have some herbs indoors for the winter.  I also dug up a small patch of chives to bring indoors as well.  They are all at home on the kitchen table.  So far Colin has been sort of brutal with the chives, but I think they will make it.  There is a ton more outside...


I am hoping... That all goes well tomorrow and beyond.  I am pretty nervous, but doing my best to think only positive thoughts.

I am looking forward to... recovery.  I just want this over with.

I am learning...  hmm.  I've been reading about how to train for a 5K.  There is a lot of information out there!  Who knew it was such a science!?

I am hearing... Some silly show on Disney Junior... :(

Around the house... Finishing the laundry today and getting new pjs washed.  I need button-up clothes for the next several days.  I only have ONE actual shirt that buttons, but it is not ideal for surgery recovery.  I have avoided anything with buttons like the plague for years...  Then it dawned on me that I have a couple of pjs  - loose and baggy flannel ones that will be perfect.  I went to Kohl's last night to get one more pair.  I'll wear pajamas home from surgery tomorrow.  I also need to do some other cleaning and get the kids to help out too.

I am pondering... the quiet peacefulness of a sleeping dog.  Abby (husky) is curled up tight, her nose buried in her fluffy tail.  I feel a great sense of calm when I watch her.

One of my favorite things...  the Veggie Chili at McAlister's.  Yum. E.  And their new Peach Sweet Tea???  mmmmm.

A few plans for the rest of the week... surgery tomorrow.  Dean now takes over as chauffer for the next several days.  I'm afraid it will break him.  (lol).  Our schedule just keeps marching on...and on...and on...

Here is a picture for thought I am sharing...

Last month, after lunch out in downtown, we stopped by this plaza and the kids played in the fountains.  Jordan was trying to see how many times he could whip his hand back and forth through the water stream before it stopped.  Now if he would only concentrate on his schoolwork with this same amount of intensity...



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Sorting it all out...

Failing to sort anything out pretty much defined all of last year. And the year before that. And before that. And....before that.

 

Perhaps I should look to Owen for inspiration.

 

He is really good at sorting. He's my OCD child. He sorted out the entire contents of his Christmas stocking. He lined his socks up in a row, separated out the peppermints from the chocolates, and promptly packed away his new toothpaste and Sponge Bob body wash in his duffle bag. He was very concerned about making sure that all of his new things would make their way home from Oklahoma. He is also the boy that is adamant about fresh underwear morning and night. And sometimes even in between. He is methodical about E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

 

I am a Type-A borderline OCD, living a life that does not lend itself well to those tendencies.

1. I totally over-schedule myself.

2. I am mean to myself by constantly give myself negative feedback.

3. I am totally undisciplined when it comes to taking care of the household and the people who live there.

4. I have let chaos prevail for too long and the ruts down this bumpy road are very deep.

5. I have let perfectionism completely cripple my ability to get anything done.

 

I know I am the p**rfect candidate for Fly Lady, but I have yet to really make a go of using her system. Since I have been living in a constant state of pitting my natural tendencies toward a totally chaotic reality, it is no wonder that I have been fighting off an ever-worsening level of depression.

 

Why I haven't been able to turn this ship around, I do not know. Lots of thoughts have been swirling around in my head as I think about how to solve this, and it all comes back to sorting. Sorting out the priorities. Schooling and at least some semblance of order is the most important priority for me, but why am I allowing everything else in life to interfere with it? Most likely it is because it is not happening as I would envision it.

My ideal: A morning or afternoon spent investigating a subject, in a clean and organized environment. We would read a story, watch a short video, do a little experiment, write about it, and then craft something. All the while smiling and being pleasant. (Snort.)

My reality: I can't find my papers, they can't find their notebook/pencil/ruler/whiteboard. I sit down with token child and immediately the dog wants out, a poopy diaper has manifested itself, the phone rings, my husband texts me, an irate email has to be dealt with, I forgot a bill that has to be paid NOW, the karate gis need to be washed for the lesson that begins in 90 minutes, the toddler has located a sharp implement, is drawing on the walls or is clearing off every shelf of neatly folded clothes in the closet, and the XYZ needs fresh batteries. Oh - and let's not forget the 70+ decibel level of noise going on in the background of bickering kids, toys and electronic devices.

 

My knee-jerk reaction is to curl up and cover my ears. Which is pretty much what I have been doing for the past several months. Instead of dealing with it, or writing introspectively about it or hiring a nanny/tutor/housekeeper, I've been escaping into anything I can lay my hands on. Books, iPad games (Hay Day anyone? I'm averaging 3-4 hours a day...disgusting!) and reading about how other moms are able to get things done, and secretly hating them. It's not the life I want to live. It's not the environment I want to spend any length of time in. And I am sure that the rest of the family feels the same - we are just have a great deal of difficulty landing our finger on exactly where the problem lies - because there are issues wherever we look!

 

There is visual chaos - nobody puts anything away. There is crap on every single surface in this house.

There is verbal chaos - the chosen way to communicate is through yelling. (Not always in anger - it's just the only way to be heard when six voices are sounding off at once, from various locations in the house.

There is auditory chaos - music, tv and computer, (often all at the same time) is a constant. Along with endless kid squabbling. This one is especially hard for me - I crave silence.

There is scheduling chaos - too many kids, too many interests. And only one car.

There is schooling chaos. As great as I am in developing grand plans in my head, and purchasing the magic bullet curriculum, I am lousy, LOUSY I tell you!, at actually implementing, well...anything?

There is financial chaos - we are still operating on a cash-only basis (YES!), but we have come to the edge of our own little personal fiscal cliff many times in the past year because we aren't budgeting like we know we ought to or keeping tabs on our checking account. We've emptied the Emergency Fund three times - for no reason other than to buy stuff with money we shouldn't have been spending in the first place.

There is internal chaos. I am really good at bringing myself down. I constantly berate myself for being a lousy wife, mother, daughter, sister, teacher, cook, housekeeper and friend. I don't get out much and I have difficulty maintaining friendships because I am lousy at it - who wants to stay friends with a boring, introverted frump? Yes, I am very, very mean to myself. (Now stop it!)

I have yet to do my New Year's retrospective post (let alone post pictures from my summer garden, the pumpkin patch, Santa visit or even get the damn Christmas cards out...), but I guess this is as good a place as any to state my intention for this year. I have no idea what I stated as my intention for last year, but I'm sure I missed the mark by a mile (see? I can't stop being mean to myself). My intention is to sort it out this year. Sort out the problems by exposing the deeper issue and dealing with it.





(Just as soon as I harvest my crops, milk the cows and fill up my boat order....)

 

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2012-2013 Curriculum: The Extracurriculars

 

 

 

Since I just spent the entire morning and afternoon piecing together my curriculum order (*finally*!!) with several last-minute changes and then placing seven different orders,  I'm feeling a bit ill over the final tally, so I will try to think about something pleasant - the fun schtuff....

 

Art - No real changes here.  We are happy with Meet the Masters and Artistic Pursuits.  I picked up some more construction paper after I discovered last week that we were out of red, purple and pink.  I think that we blazed through those colors during last Valentine's Day..

 

Music - Piano lessons for Jordan and Rylan with their grandma Judy will stay on the schedule.  New this year - Rylan will begin Suzuki violin lessons, starting tomorrow!  I am pretty excited about this.  Rylan will be learning from one of the homeschooling moms in our group who is an accomplished teacher.  Lessons will be in her home, and there will be a once-a-month group lesson.

 

P.E. - (giggle.. that just seems silly to me)  - Karate continues to be the sport of choice for Jordan and Rylan.  Owen has professed his love of tumbling, and Rylan wants to try tap/ballet.  These may, or may not, happen.  I am only human, and the budget will only stretch so far.  Owen gets precedence, though - he doesn't have an 'activity' as of yet...

 

Scouts - Jordan is gung-ho for another year, and I will continue to dump as much of the responsibility for all badgework and paperwork back onto Jordan's (and Dean's) shoulders.  I can't handle any more on my plate.  But I do enjoy the (relative) quiet of the house on camping weekends (although I could do without the headache of the prepwork), and seeing fellow homeschooling/scouting mom friend Deanna at the occasional scouting event - just about the only time I see her!

 

      As for Rylan... sigh... I don't know yet.  I would like for last year to just 'go away'.  Some of last year's Daisies are continuing on in another troop, but the troop is affiliated with my former co-leader, so that ain't happenin' for us, which really saddens and frustrates me to no end.  Our original troop is still in existence, but 95% of the girls are older  - like 9, 10?  And that is just too much of an age-difference for Rylan to be the only youngster in the bunch.  But - we may stick with the troop as a last-resort, simply because familiarity feels comforting, and I really, really like the present leader.  :)  I have contacted another mom, who was Rylan's unit leader at summer camp - but that was a week ago, and my hopes are dimming.  I would be totally happy with this responsibility just. going. away.  I am beginning to think that the continuous road-blocks on this scouting journey is a sign that we should just give it up.

 

 

Now... I need a breather from this damn computer, so I'll have to tackle the rest another day!