Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Up to my ankles in suds...

photo credit
 
 
Yes we homeschool, so we kind of buck the cultural norms in that regard.  But we haven't relinquished our love of electricity, plastic bottles full of corrosive laundry detergent, liberal - even, dare I say, wasteful water usage, or a love of all things fabric softener.  Gain.  sniff.  ahhhhh.
 
 
Three years ago, we plunked down an obscene, OBSCENE, I SAY!, amount of money on a Samsung front loader washer/dryer combo.  After one week of use, they were no longer my favorite.  Even if they were shiny.  The washer took a ridiculous amount of time to do one, paltry load.  The dryer's magical damp 'sensor' wasn't so magical.  Three years have passed, and my disdain has only increased.  Whenever we travel to my inlaws and make use of their washer/dryer (on a daily basis during our visit because we have filthy kids...), I sit in awe.  I love my MIL's machines.  I want to ditch the suitcases, the children and the back seat and just take the machines home with me.  j/k   well...almost.
 
For the past month or so, our washer has completely under-performed.  As in... "I don't really feel like draining out all of this filthy water, or spinning or anything, so I am just going to sit here and beep at you every 30 seconds... all. night. long.  Out running errands?  Okay, I'll just entertain the dog and cat with the beeping.  I'm sure they will enjoy that.  Don't worry.  I'm sure you won't mind if your clothes fester in dirty water for a few hours..."
 
Samsung?  You suck.  So does the cheap plastic parts you put in your machines.  For the sheer pain of plunking down $1600 on one single machine, I expect better.  BETTER!
 
I am talking about the drain pump.  And the MAJOR PITA factor involved in getting to the drain hoses.  Which were caked in sludge.  I half expected to find a wayward penny.  Or a lego.  Or a button.  Nope.  Just a faulty part.
 
So, this past Sunday morning, I found my washing machine and all of its 40 respective parts, spread out all over the upstairs hallway.  Dean must have been busy.  Believe me when I say that stepping on metal screws hurts worse that those funky-shaped legos that stick out at all angles... you know the ones.
 
And the part that needs to be replaced?  Well, it should arrive sometime later this week.  We don't have enough clothes to last that long.  So my options are: stink.  No thank you.  Go naked.  again...pass.  Go to a Laundromat.  The last time I did that was in New Orleans when we vacationed there in 2010.  That actually wasn't sooo bad, once I got over my fear.  Dean took the kids for ice cream, and I washed and folded and watched my first episode ever of CSI on a little TV that was suspended from the ceiling.  Then the witchy owner-lady killed the TV 10 minutes before closing time, and no amount of eye daggers was going to convince her to turn it back on.  Another option would be to haul the dirty clothes to my mom's.  Nice idea, but I really don't have that kind of time, and I don't want to be a burden.  So... what option is left??
 
Ah-ha!!  The bathtub.  Bathtub you say?  Google it.  There is a whole (very scary) world out there of DIYers that has turned the act of washing your clothes out by hand into a modern-day art form.  It is culturally confusing however, to Google images of "Washing clothes by hand in bathtub", and see gleeful Preppers washing away in their plastic tubs mixed in with images of women and men slapping clothes on rocks next to a dirty stream. 
 
So, back to me (since it is all about me), I've got it down to a science...
 
1. Fill tub to about 2-3" deep with water - the temp depends on what you are washing.
2. Add liquid detergent while it is filling.  I also add softener too, because I am too lazy to do that separately.
3. Dump in clothes.  I limit myself to about 15 items, give or take.
4. Get them wet, step in and swish around with your feet just a bit to work in the soap.
5. Let sit for 10 minutes or so.  Or until you remember that you left clothes in the tub in the first place..
6. Get back into tub and get a 10 min. cardio workout.  Dance, stomp, swish, pretend you are an Olympic speed skater - careful - water can slosh!  Do the Twist!
7. Drain.
8. Rinse.
9. Drain.
10. Rinse.
11. Get all of the clothes into a big pile at the back of the tub, and then place your hands against the front of the tub and puuuusssshhhh.  Do a couple wall push-ups.  Then puuuuussshhh some more.  Squeeze as much of the water out as you can.  Then....get the Salad Spinner!!!! 
12. Spin each item.  A mop bucket with a squeezer-thingy can work too.
13.  Either hang up to dry, or throw in dryer.  (thank goodness that is still working, at least)
 
Done! 
 
Bonbon anyone?