Monday, May 12, 2014

The week without screens...



Last Monday morning I abruptly announced that we would not be using screens for the entire week.  I collected the iDevices, stashed away all the remotes, warned Jordan that texting was not allowed (but allowed him to keep his phone on the kitchen counter) and made everybody sign a pledge.  I set some rules - the only screen time would be on the computer, doing school-related work.  (About 20% for the little kids, and 50% for Jordan), and Jordan could check his email three times a day.

Then, as the first half-hour passed by and wild-eyed kids- who were showing serious signs of withdrawal -roamed the house with dazed expressions, I sat everybody down and explained that we were doing this for our own good.  The devices were ruining school time.  They weren't playing together hardly at all anymore.  We needed to break some bad habits, and hours  - HOURS - spent TV watching weren't helping either.

Rylan seemed to suffer the least.  She is plenty happy with paints and paper, markers and paper, colored pencils and paper, stencils and paper, stickers and paper...  Just give the girl some paper.

Colin was in serious need of diversion.  He wandered aimlessly, and messed with everything he could think of.  He is used to having some loooong iPad sessions with videos he can watch from PBS Kids, or Reading Eggs or the kids' games.

Owen asked every half-day when they could have screens back.  He was sweet about it, but he just seemed 'lost' without my iPad and his Minecraft game.

Jordan took it the worst.  He took to sneaking "I AM SO BORED!" texts to his dad.  He got a reprieve from the no-screens rule on his birthday (the 9th), to play around with his new go-pro video thingy, he got to watch 'The Hobbit' that night with his dad after the other kids went to bed, and he got some gaming time with a friend that came over the next day/eve for birthday fun.  Despite that, he was by far the loudest complainer.  I caught him playing on the computer - using gaming headphones - early on Sunday morning (Mother's Day), when I came down to make some coffee.  He earned an extra SF day for that.  He also sat down multiple times all week, to "check his email', and was caught doing something else.  He claimed he was showing Rylan the website of the restaurant we were going to on his birthday.  coughbullshitcough.  Our whole family has been there multiple times.  His claims for needing 'to check something' were just getting ridiculous.  As far as teenage angst goes, his drama hit a high note yesterday when we informed him he had two extra days coming to him.  Tears.  Oh the tears!  His issues with screen time clearly dictate that he has an addiction problem.  It is to the exclusion of all else.  We could never follow the unschool route with him because he would never ever leave the gaming aside to fit in some learning.  I have some very real fears about how he will handle his addictive behavior in the future.  With him I know that he will always need something to occupy his time.  His ADHD makes it impossible for him to feel comfortable in an environment that is lacking outside stimuli.  I do know this, and I know that not all electronics are bad, but Jordan goes way beyond healthy levels of screen time on a daily basis.  Almost 85% of his interactions with friends occur over the computer.  That's just sad.


So the week wore on... they discovered Battleship, and Owen, our ever-resistant learner, learned some more letters and how to read coordinates on a grid.  Jordan plowed through the rest of Divergent, and got the next book in the trilogy - Insurgent, at the library on Wednesday, even though I knew he was getting it for his birthday from his friend on Saturday.  He finished it on Friday.  I don't think he absorbed hardly any of it though, so it is good that he owns his own copy of each book in the trilogy now.  The kids started playing again. They invented new things to do.  We cleaned and sorted the boys' bedroom.  Conversations in the car were happening again because they were now aware of stuff outside the car.  Before - even if it was a quick trip to the grocery store down the street, there was the immediate request to turn on the movie in the car.  yeah - this week was sorely needed.

Now, as for me?  Yes, I stayed off my one game that I have- Hay Day.  That was actually easy.  I stayed away from FB - with two exceptions - one was to share that Rylan and I are fundraising - for a 5K that I am running and a mile fun run that she is running - at the end of the month for the local pet shelter.  The other was to post about Jordan's birthday.  I didn't even post to my mom yesterday for Mother's Day.  (sorry mom).  So now I have a lot of catching up to do.  It was actually easy to stay away from FB.  So much of it is toxic these days.  I stayed away from the blog.  I stayed away from Flipboard (that is where my real addiction lies) and I stayed away from mindless surfing.

What I could not stay away from was email.  Damn email.  I hate email.  I had to make all of the final arrangements for Rylan's birthday party just this previous Saturday, arrange our last board meeting for the year (and bring an end to my duties - yay!), arrange the last meetings of the year for girl scouts (and bring an end to my duties - yay!), purchase the tickets for Jordan's birthday day at Elitch's, arrange Rylan's birthday gift surprise, google half a hundred things that I needed to know.... I spent a ridiculous amount on the computer this past week.  What a huge time suck.  

What I also noticed was how much I relied on the TV and iPad to occupy the kids and keep them out of my hair while I did stuff.  I am totally at fault for how much they were watching... :(

A very nice lesson for us all.  And the good thing - nobody has asked for any TV yet this morning...