
Sunday, September 20, 2015
Simple Woman's Daybook Entry

Sunday, September 6, 2015
Simple Woman's Daybook Entry

Colin, June 2011 |
Friday, September 4, 2015
The transition to high school..

Jordan's first few couple weeks have passed by and it seems like a pretty easy transition, so far. Here are a few thoughts...
1. After 8 years of homeschooling, the whole business of getting a kiddo off to school in the morning feels absolutely foreign to me. As luck would have it, Jordan is actually very easy to wake and get moving. He makes his own breakfast and so forth. All I have to do is roll out of bed, grab my coffee and drive him one whole mile to school.
2. Rule Change.
a. Kids can bring cell phones to class. Hell, they can even use them. Each teacher has their own rule about phones. Yes, you can play music during a test. (!) Yes, you can answer that text, if it is really important. (!!) Yes, you can play games on your device if your work is done. (!!!)
b. Assignments can be turned in up to a week past due date, for full credit. Even that is negotiable.
c. Poor clothing choices are the norm. (Do these parents ever look at their children before they walk out the door???)
d. Students are shockingly rude to their teachers. Openly giving the finger, refusing to remove an earbud while the teacher is conducting the lesson... w. o. w. Everything I hate about the atmosphere of public high schools.
3. Helicopter parents rejoice!! The parent portal is hands-down awesome. I can log on and see Jordan's schedule, see his attendance and know if he was tardy to any class, view his past, current and upcoming assignments and see his grades on everything and know immediately if anything is missing. I try not to be 'that' parent, but so far it has come in handy when I logged in yesterday for my weekly-lookover and saw that he had a missing assignment from last week. I texted him immediately. He was in history, so naturally he texted me back. I got on to him for missing the assignment AND for texting me back. He will be spending Labor Day weekend finishing that assignment. :/ I can also log into to his lunch account and see his purchase history. He's been buying an extra cookie almost every day.
4. Jordan is experiencing what classroom culture is really like. Students still pass rude notes. Now they apparently also video you with their phones while snickering with their friends. Some kids are nice. Some are assholes.
5. Yes, the cafeteria burrito bar is really that bad.
6. Student assemblies are fun. And loud.
7. Bell schedules take some getting used to.
8. Yes. Homework before screen time. Always. And I know when you have homework. (awesome!!)
I try to separate my feelings/memories of high school from what he is currently experiencing. His experience is unique to him. He is stronger in many ways than I ever was to peer criticism and the desire to fit in. He confronts those who pester him. He has made acquaintances, but not necessarily friends. He often eats lunch alone, but also with a purpose - he has found a quiet corner that he likes to sit at and do his homework so he doesn't have to do it at home. What parent would complain about that? I just hope he finds his tribe soon. It will help when clubs start up...
Sunday, August 30, 2015
Simple Woman's Daybook Entry

Outside my window... Sunshine and a soft breeze.
I am thinking... About my nephew who is celebrating a birthday today, about my cousin that celebrated a birthday yesterday, and my husband who celebrated his birthday the day before that, the food I need to prepare for a picnic we're attending this afternoon, the massive curriculum order I need to place, the fact that Jordan still needs to complete his homework, the stuff I need to do in preparation for the new season of Cub Scouts that begins this week, and the big change that is happening to our homeschool online platform that is happening in T-minus 38:21 hours, and I still have to figure out how to get 120 invites sent out to our membership.
I am thankful... For the slight change in my medication. I had a very productive initial Dr. visit with a new psychiatrist last week. I am currently taking 30mg of Prozac daily, but am feeling 'flat' and unmotivated. So after reviewing my situation and current mental health, he recommended adding 150mg Wellbutrin to the Prozac. I've got a long-term low grade depression, layered with a more immediate depression that comes and goes with the times. The Wellbutrin should help stabilize things and help me with the motivation piece so that I can move beyond the current 'hole' that I feel like I am trapped in right now. (hole = always feeling like I am behind and overwhelmed, and helpless to stop the cycle).
From the Learning Rooms... The kids and I are about to get into the full swing of things when their curriculum arrives later this week. (hopefully - it is the busy season for that, so shipping may be an issue). We have been doing math, history and science these past weeks, but I am anxious to get the Language Arts stuff going. Jordan is doing well with his transition to public high school. I have a blog post in production about that...
In the kitchen... I am making black-eyed pea dip and monster cookies for the picnic later today. About 45 people are attending. That's a whole lotta cookies.
I am wearing... pjs!
I am creating... Trying to decide between Trello, Workflowy, Sticky Notes, Kanban, and Wunderlist as a way to keep track of what I need to do. Part of why I feel sooo overwhelmed is that I have a lot on my plate, and minimal executive function to keep track of it all. My old brain injury is rearing it's ugly head and lots of stuff is falling through the cracks. I have about 40% follow-thru on most stuff right now, because of it. That is all a part of the vicious cycle that keeps beating down my ability to cope and feel good about myself.
I am going... To a picnic later today with our Ingress friends. I am looking forward to it - they are a fun bunch of people.
I am wondering... About the great horned owl I heard outside our bedroom window the other night. It was really neat to hear, but I've never heard an owl in our neighborhood before. Makes me worry about the neighbor's cat that likes to prowl around.
I am reading... I just finished reading The Bishop's Wife, by Mette Ivie Harrison. I love murder mysteries, and to add the Mormonism element to it was the icing on the cake, because Mormonism is a mystery all in its self. I just like reading about things I know little about so that I learn something new. I read it in two days. I haven't been lost in a book like that in months. My husband hates it because I completely ignore everything else when I am absorbed in a book, but I feel it is good for me from time to time. I need time away from myself, lol...
I am hoping... to get in another 10K steps today. Yesterday was the first day I managed that in I don't know how long. I got myself a new FitBit Charge for my birthday earlier this month, and I am loving it!
I am looking forward to... the picnic of course, but not much else this week. It's a busy week coming up full of stressssssss. :/ So I am looking forward to next weekend.
I am learning... how to juggle. Just kidding. I don't think there are any spare brain cells to think about learning anything right now.
I am hearing... Ghoststories by Coldplay on the headphones, but unfortunately it does not drown out the kids arguing in the kitchen as Rylan is making pancakes and Colin, Owen and Jordan are discussing Geometry Dash.
Around the house... Dog hair. Lots and lots of dog hair. Abby's seasonal shed is in full swing.
I am pondering... shaving her. No, not really. I made that mistake with my first husky, Kai. My dad helped my shave her, and she wouldn't look at me for weeks. I think she felt embarrassed. Dean keeps threatening to take Abby to the groomers. I don't think she would like that at. all.
One of my favorite things... A clean kitchen counter. I managed to get two different areas cleaned up this past week. The feeling was awesome. And then kids and husband ruined it all.
A few plans for the rest of the week... Rylan begins a new year of dance this week. She is taking ballet and jazz again, and luckily they are on the same day, back-to-back, which means one less round trip for me. yay! Also, Owen begins his new season of Cub Scouts this week. I am stepping into the new role of assistant leader of his den this year, because the one from last year quit abruptly early last spring, I am an idiot/glutton for punishment and also because no other parent offered to. Luckily, Mark, the den leader, is a well-seasoned scout and knows how to run things pretty well - I'm just an extra pair of hands, really. It is a small group, so hopefully it won't be too much work. Also, the BSA does an excellent of spelling out everything to do in the manual. Unlike the Girl Scouts that are so disorganized it's pointless.
Here is a picture for thought I am sharing...
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Sunday, April 26, 2015
Simple Woman's Daybook Entry


Saturday, December 20, 2014
All I want for Christmas is to be able to breathe. Normally.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014
So I guess the holidays are here...
Fall has happened.
We did enjoy the fall - in a very limited way. A few leaf walks, a visit to an apple orchard, a hike, the pumpkin patch, Trick-or-Treating on Halloween, leaf raking... It was all crammed in and between everything else that makes the fall crazy - scout popcorn, scouting for food, Fall Camporee, (all compounded by adding Owen to the family scouting roster), Nutcracker practices, Lego... I don't like leaving seasonal and family rituals out of the schedule and then fitting them in where we can. There is no downtime, no spontaneity, and by Thanksgiving we are exhausted.
Thanksgiving has happened.
Thanksgiving was supposed to be spent at home in CO this year, but a schedule switch had to be made in order to accommodate a family trip to CA over New Years, so we went to OKC for Thanksgiving instead of Christmas, so that we wouldn't have two big trips just days apart. It actually worked out really well. We had a very good week in OKC, beginning with a family get-together the evening we arrived, which was great since that gave us a chance to see everyone - including our newest grandniece, now 9 months old. Since this year is the 'off year', in which all the families would be spending the holiday with their inlaws, we knew that our Thanksgiving would be just our family and Dean's folks. Eight of us. Can I just say how wonderful that was? Don't get me wrong - I love the whole family get-togethers and all, but for this wallflower, a small, intimate dinner with 'just us', was wonderful. In addition, this was not Jordan's scheduled holiday visitation with his mom, so he got to spend the week with us - and more importantly his grandparents, although we did agree that he could spend the night on Thanksgiving and most of Friday with his mom. He flies out to OKC in just a few more days, and will spend two weeks with her during Christmas.
Back to the actual event - there was no stress in cooking, no stress in traveling anywhere, no stress of a houseful of people, no stress in clean up.. there was just no stress at all! I didn't know what to do with myself in a nonstressed state. So I knitted. That stressed me out, so I felt better. My MIL handled the turkey, stuffing, green bean casserole and mashed potatoes, and I made the rolls, sweet potatoes and gravy. This was the first time - EVER - that Jordan had the quintessential childhood experience of waking up to the smell of roasting turkey. For 14 years that child has had to wait for that... a shame! I have only roasted a turkey once, (last Christmas??) and that was during the day, and I can't remember if he was here or not - he may have been with his mom, who doesn't cook. Every other holiday in which turkey is involved, the roasting happened at a house he was traveling to, so he never experience that wonderful smell that weaves its way into your dreams and wakes you up at 5:30 a.m. with a growling stomach! So glad he was with us.
Christmas is happening.
It is now the 10th, and all we have managed to do is drag the tree up from the basement last night, and untangle the lights. That's it. Oh, and I put up the advent calendar. And purchased a poinsettia and a wreath for the door. I love, love to decorate, yet there is just no time! :( I am in the process of clearing out about 500 curriculum books (no joke!) from the office shelves to put up my Santa and Nativity displays. That is the safest spot for them, so every year the books have to be moved temporarily - which, as you can imagine, is a huge chore. Especially when you have a bum knee.
I haven't even thought about Christmas presents. At all.
We are leaving for CA in about two weeks. I haven't thought about that either. Other than to think about temporary pet placement.
All that is on my mind (apart from stupid schoolwork) is the Nutcracker. After this weekend, it will be over. This is Rylan's third year performing in her dance academy's production, and it is the fourth year they have been putting it on. It is a 'smaller' performance overall when compared to others - the music has been edited for length, the set is more scaled back and it is performed in a high school auditorium, but it does seem to get bigger in scope every year. This year Rylan is dancing as a Gingerbread and as a butterfly during the Waltz of the Flowers. Dean and I are once again performing in the party scene. We are the 'parents' of four, including two very naughty boys, so we get to do a lot of 'scolding' during the party. Good times. No different from our daily life. I spent a very stressful week last week altering my dress so that it looked more 'festive' and period-appropriate. I will post pictures eventually. I'm not happy with it, but it will have to do. We performed last Friday at a different high school for some elementary kiddos, and then we perform twice this coming Saturday. It will be a long nine hours at the theater. Last year I was freaked out by it all. This year I am surprisingly calm.
Monday, August 18, 2014
First Day of School
Today was our first day of school. I dragged my very tired butt out of bed at 6:20 a.m., after having a rough and sleepless night, only to find that both Jordan and Rylan were downstairs, eating breakfast. Rylan had even made her bed. No shit. I continue to totally underestimate my kids.
Jordan has seemed nervous, as the day approached, but it was all because he had a totally messed-up conception about what the first day would bring. He though he would be having to attend his online class meetings and so forth. That isn't for a couple weeks yet. The first official day for Calvert is 9/2. We are just starting early because it is new to us, and we need to practice our new routine since we are stubborn people when it comes to change.....or maybe not, since my kids got up BEFORE me today.
The first lesson today went very well. I was able to finish Rylan's and Owen's entire lesson. Rylan took the short story that I had assigned to her today to read several times over for fluency practice, and read it to her brothers this evening, while they were taking their bath. She read it with such a great deal of enthusiasm that it made my heart sing. Jordan got through about 2/3rds of his lesson. He can hang in there with the attention span and focus much longer than he used to, but because the kids drift downhill after about 3pm, he can't help but be distracted by all of their craziness. I can't help but be distracted either. Jordan was gone for almost three hours during the day for Lego practice, so that totally impacted his work time. We will have to continue to focus on making the most of our early morning hours (we start at 7:30)on Lego days, before his younger brothers wake up.
What made the day extra special was the fact we were in our new school room. I'll post my show-and-tell tomorrow. The kids and I loved the new space, the room, the light.... I am feeling so energized by the change. :)
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Simple Woman's Daybook Entry

I am thankful that Jordan earned his Life scout rank while at camp. His three merit badges that he earned while there which helped him over the hurdle. I had no idea he was on the verge of that. A long while ago I made the conscious decision to detach myself from his scout activities and badges and so forth. It is his journey, his work that will get him where he wants to be, and he is in charge of getting there, at his pace.
Two things: First is Jordan's first GoPro YouTube video that he edited and set to music. He must have figured it out how to do it all on his own - now he needs to teach me! He just uploaded it this week, within hours of arriving in OK, and after conferring with Dean over the phone about the finer details of music credit and so forth. This is Dean and I on the Mind Eraser (if you have vertigo issues - DON'T WATCH), in May. We got the front seat, and Dean is wearing the GoPro. I loved the ride, but screamed the whole way - thank goodness there is awesome music for you to listen to instead.
And here is a picture Colin took of Rylan walking by the pool at swimming lessons last week:
I love the splash and the reflection... |
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Swimming Lessons, Forgetfulness, Paper Overload
Swimming lessons go either way for me. At times they are the bane of my summer existence. It means no lazy mornings, constant laundry and lost goggles on a weekly basis. At other times I love the summer sounds of splashing and coaching and the relaxation of reading by the pool. It has certainly gotten easier over the years. When we started, Colin was a babe and the prep work was insane. Suits, towels, diapers, multiple changes of clothes, snacks, juices, bug spray, sunscreen, toys... all for a measly hour at the pool. Now, as the kids are reaching the age of self-sufficiency, they each have their own swim bag and they are responsible for packing a change of clothes, a towel and goggles. The bags hang from the banister in front of the hallway laundry, and that is their permanent summer home. The suits get hung up to dry, and the towels go directly from dryer to bag and as soon as the suits are dry, they go in as well. The goggles are accounted for before we leave the pool, and again as each kids tosses their wet stuff in the washer upon arrival home. I only wash the suits every other day, so wet suits go on the drying rack. Rylan has taken over snack duty, and she actually does a great job. Usually a yogurt, granola bar, banana and a juice box. She even packs a snack for me! Swimming lessons have actually become enjoyable, except for the fact that the youngest child has made a thorough nuisance of himself. He refuses to get in the pool for his lessons now. He lasted all of seven days - and they weren't even consecutive. I want to rid myself of the ultimate motherhood fear that a child will drown (followed by run out into the street and get hit by a car), and Colin will have none of it. This may take years. :( Rylan and Owen are doing great though. Rylan has reached the point that she is a competent swimmer - just not a strong one. She missed out on the latest swim session because there were not enough other kids to make a class, so I opted to pay for a couple private lessons for her. At $20 a pop, this is not sustainable. And, as I was watching, I kept thinking..."I could teach her this... why am I paying for this??" This is a similar thought pattern that we have all experienced - you know the scenario - you're standing in front of a painting worth millions, and you think to yourself, "Why, I could paint this!!"
Forgetfulness
In the midst of worrying about hail damage, my knee and stuff, I forgot to do something. I had arranged with my friend/girl scout co-leader last weekend to do a playdate on this past Thursday. A lunch playdate. We would all eat lunch, the kids would chase chickens and play, play, play, and we would wrap up the paperwork and badge stuff for the year, and strategize for next year. I thought about it a bit on Wednesday. I was planning on bringing a fruit salad, so I made a mental note that I needed to go shopping. Unfortunately it didn't stick. Thursday came, we did our swim lessons and then headed home. According to my calendar, we had a whole day ahead of us to do with as we wished! We went to the river and the kids played for a good long while and then we came home. I was standing before the fridge, wondering what miracle I could perform in coming up with something for lunch when the phone range. I saw the name on the caller ID, and my heart exploded with self-loathing, stupidity and embarrassment all at once. We were late. Like an hour late. They were hungry - I could hear the girls in the background fussing. She had grilled chicken for us. She was worried. I'm an idiot. Luckily for me she is the forgiving sort and knows that I am the most forgetful person on Earth.
I have difficulty remembering things in times of stress. I have to write everything down - sometimes in multiple places. This is supposed to be second-nature for me ever since I had a head injury when I was 19, but sometimes I still forget - as I did this time after I forgot to put our plans on my calendar. I remember thinking to myself, 'I won't forget! This is a fun thing, so I will be looking forward to it and I won't forget!', aaaaand I forgot. This really sucks because a.) she cooked and cleaned for us b.) I have annoying financial paperwork for girl scouts to finish up and we need to do it together c.) I struggle so much with making solid friendships - somehow I always screw up by saying the wrong thing, doing something wrong, or...something.... I don't know. I feel really bad that I screwed up yet again. I just have to shake it off and move on, and try and act like a responsible adult next time.
Paper Overload
Mail, medical paperwork, scout paperwork, schoolwork, forms for everything under the sun, warranty stuff, 'art work', receipts, three different copies of the same bill (ahem)... There is a pile of some sort of paper on just about every flat surface in this house, which means I currently have to check about six different places in order to find something. It is just how it has come to be - it is up to me to gather it all up, sort it all out, and deal with it. Sometimes I begrudge that fact, other times I think that if were the both of us handling the influx of all things paper - us with two very different levels of pickyness, trying to handle something as volatile as FILING, emotional disaster would ensue. I know it could all be easily managed if I had a system in place for every different piece of paper that comes into our possession - and indeed I do, just like I have a system for coats, shoes, library books and wet bathing suits. It's just that nobody else seems to be aware of the system. The memo must have got lost in all the paperwork...
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Favoritism, Hail, Surgery and Flowers
As per custom over the years, when Jordan arrives home from a stay with his mom in OK, he will eventually share some annoying and typically hurtful comment that his mom made in his presence - usually directed at either 'us' or 'me'. This time it was about our switching to Calvert this coming school year. We have enrolled in Colorado Calvert Academy, an online, virtual public school. Calvert, for me, is all about the curriculum. I have studied all of the grade levels (K-8) with a teacher's eye, lining up the scope and sequence with Colorado State Standards, and it makes me wish August were here already so we could start - that is how excited I am about it! Calvert is not shy about letting parents know what the expectations are in the role they must play in this. I am to expect that Jordan will have 5-6 hours of work per school day to slog through (count that as 7-8 for the distracted ADHD child), and I will need to be at his elbow for a significant part of it. And not just Jordan, either. There will also be Rylan and Owen to attend to. Aaaaand to keep Colin from destroying the house in the process. This also does not count the extras I fit in, like Nature Study, Lego League, chess club, swimming.... In Jordan's mom's eyes, this switch is because I have become lazy about homeschooling Jordan, and I want someone else to do it for me so I can spend more time with the other kids. So I guess all of the children are getting the 'lazy treatment', because I don't show favoritism. I. do. not. show. favoritism. If you were a fly on the wall in our home, you would in fact think quite the opposite. My time and attention is predominantly spent with Jordan, because he is the oldest. When you spent your entire day, day after day, surrounded by little kids, you crave any type of adult conversation you can find. Poor Jordan has been my guinea pig. As soon as he could sustain a conversation, we were talking. We talk about everything under the sun - history, science, math, literature, religion, technology, child rearing, gardening.... and I think he enjoys it as much as I do, because he will recall many a conversation with me (several of which were prompted by the Core Knowledge reading for the day) and relate back to it in some way.
His mother's comments are serious button pushers for me. I understand where they are coming from - she is no longer the principal parent, she feels threatened, she probably has a lot of anger and resentment, and I seem like the easy target. That doesn't mean that these comments don't bother me. They bother me a great deal. The comments hurt my feelings and question my integrity. Parenting a child should be a partnership, not a game of one-up-manship. A child is a human being with feelings - not a piece of property.
Hail
We had a wicked hail storm late Tuesday night. It went on for a very long time, and the average size was somewhere between a quarter and a golf ball. Dean and I traveled from window to window, getting more and more excited as the hailstones grew in size. This was the big one we have been hoping for! The next morning revealed that the roof had taken its last stand (yay!), the window screens were shredded (yay!), the shutters on the front windows were cracked and even broken in places (meh), there are pits and dents in the garage door and trim (yay!), there are dents in the hood of the minivan (meh), the passenger side mirror is cracked (meh), and there are pits all over the fence. We are still waiting for adjusters to look at house and car (State Farm - I am NOT impressed...), but we did have a roofer come out on Wednesday to have a look and I am pretty excited about the findings... ;) Can't say much more than that at this point, but the house will be getting a makeover very, very soon.
Surgery
Yesterday I met with the surgeon I had picked out to do my knee surgery. He has done the knees and shoulders of three of my relatives and several of Dean's coworkers, and they all sang very high praises. He concurred that surgery needs to be done if I want to return to my favorite physical activities. I guess there are people out there who elect not to do this because they don't want to go through the rehab. An ACL replacement is not for the faint of heart. In fact, it makes me sweat with fear thinking about it. It is tough-going in the rehab department. Like - really tough. I am 42, and my age is affecting my prognosis. I have elected to go with an autograft of my patellar tendon to replace the ACL. This is the more difficult one to rehab - it will take longer and will be more painful. It may mean that I can't ever quite get down on my knees again. (thank goodness I don't have babies anymore, and don't expect my floors to look clean ever again). I am choosing an autograft over an allograft (donation from a cadaver) because the thought of tissue rejection and infection scares me. Plus, and I know this is weird, but the thought of someone elses' tissue in my body gives me the heebie-jeebies. I know I would feel quite differently if the case were that I needed a new liver or something and couldn't live without a transplant, but in this case I just feel weird about it. BUT - the fact that I am 42 means that being my own donor brings about other concerns. My tendons are older, may not be as robust (too bad tendons aren't fatty tissue! No problem there...), and may not give the best results. I've studied the outcomes and the percentages are not in my favor. This is where I get scared. What if I go through all of this and find out that my knee will still never be stable enough for skiing, hiking or running? This instantly brings tears to my eyes. I would be crushed. Damn...
The surgery has tentatively been scheduled for July 31st. I am to work very hard on my PT for the next three weeks to see if I can really improve my range of motion and strength. He'll reassess at that time and decide whether or not that surgery date will work. If I am not where I should be recovery-wise, the surgery will have to be pushed back. Talk about pressure! If the surgery gets pushed back, life will get seriously difficult - beyond difficult - if I can't drive by September. I already have the mindset that we are taking off the month of August from absolutely everything, so that rehab is the only focus. Then after August, I have 2-3 months of PT, twice to three times a week to look forward too. Damn. Damn. Damn. It will be difficult enough to launch a whole new curriculum and homeschooling rhythm, without throwing constant therapy appointments into the mix. AAAGGHHH! I hate stress. :(
Flowers
As frustrating as this week was - although the hail was actually a good thing in our eyes - it was an act of kindness that helped sooth out the worries. After I had arrived home with my appointment with the surgeon, the kids and I grabbed our rakes and cleaned up the mess left behind from the storm. I had left it as-is in the hopes that an insurance adjuster would be along shortly to look at all the damage, but by Friday morning it was looking trashy, so I decided it was time to clean up. As we were doing so, a van from a local greenhouse pulled up in front of our house. At first I thought they were asking for directions. Then I thought that maybe they were jumping out to help (lol...). Nope - a guy and a girl hopped out and announced that they had been instructed to drive around and give away hanging flower baskets to any takers they could find, since the greenhouse had too many. I was dumbfounded and so, so touched. I think this was the owner's way of reaching out to those who had storm damage and give a little bit of happiness. I called the company right away to express my heartfelt thanks. I've got to remember in these tough and scary weeks ahead that I need to look for the good, and be thankful for what I do have.
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Simple Woman's Daybook Entry
