Blessed

I've spent this past week feeling a bit like a spectator in life around here, rather than a participant... It was a good week to be out of commission as not much out of the ordinary was going on, otherwise. My surgery last Thursday came and went. I've had episodes of energy, followed by periods of dazed confusion and grumpiness because of pain and then the intense need to take a nap. I often forget what has happened to my body, and then I get a jolt when I look in the mirror. It's hard to put into words...I'm feeling relief that the surgery is over, but there is still several more weeks of intense discomfort ahead, so the joy in the change of my body is tempered with that bit of reality. It's also knowing that it will take a full six months (maybe even a year!), before the dust settles, so to speak.

As I've been laying about this week, it's been Dean running the show...which has been amusing and annoying at times. I'm thoroughly annoyed at how the kids respond to him by doing what he asks them to do, about 90% of the time. If it were me doing the asking, they ignore me the first 4-5 times. Dean says I am pushover, so that is why they don't take me seriously. Whatever. He got the kitchen cleaned up, worked through the perpetual wash-by-hand pile that is always by the sink, and got the kids to do some of it as well. He also got them loading/ unloading the dishwasher several days in a row. I am blessed with a husband that knows what needs to be done and gets it done. I am also embarrassed that he can get it done and I can't.

But. He also stated more than once this week that he doesn't know how I manage day in and day out with the kids and all that we do. He understands my frustration at how it feels like I can never get anything done. It's not that he didn't before - it just drives home the point when you actually live 'it', several days in a row. He is more than ready to escape get back to work, just as I am ready to get back into the routine again a although it has been so nice to have been able to 'check out' this past week...

I am blessed that the kids were so helpful and relatively well-behaved...poor Colin is having a tough time understanding that I can't rock him right now. :(. They have been very good about lifting and carrying things, helping with laundry, dishes, groceries and so forth.

As I was brushing my teeth a little bit ago, in preparation for bed, I noticed that a newly-revamped part of my anatomy did not jiggle around as I moved my arm back and forth. Such a small thing, but it led to a fervent prayer of Thanksgiving...again, it's hard to put into words. There have been many instances this week where things felt different, moved different (or not at all), and a wide spectrum of emotions wash over me...it's all good - no remorse here - it's just still hard to believe that I'm finally on the other side of the hurdle!

Posted with Blogsy