Thursday, March 6, 2014

Technical difficulty...

 

I often construct my best written work in those precious few minutes before I fling back the covers and start my day. The problem is, I don't actually write it down. I think to myself, "I can hold these thoughts in my brain for a few minutes longer, until I sit down at the computer and write because I can type at the keyboard much faster then I can on my iPad".

The problem is, I never get the chance. I'll make the mistake of looking at the calendar on the iPad on my way down the stairs just to make sure we don't have to be somewhere soon, and then by total default I'll fall into that evil abyss that follows: email, Facebook, Flipboard, Hay Day and - if I'm desperate for distraction - Zillow. Two hours later I will resurface and realize that the kids have started their day by emptying every cereal box available, drinking a half-gallon of apple juice - the other half is spilled on the floor, Colin has decimated yet another entire roll of toilet paper - in fact, he has wrapped it around his naked little body so that it looks like a skirt (true story), Jordan has disappeared with his computer, and Colin has also 'redecorated' yet another room in the house. Colin is a busy boy. You would think I get that by now... Pass the bonbons, please.

If I would just bypass the iPad and go directly to the computer, I could document these ultra-important, life-altering thoughts (cough) quickly and efficiently, and then begin the day properly with a shower, an actual breakfast that does not come from a box, and maybe even remember to pass out the vitamins.

The problem is, I am not on friendly terms with the computer right now. She is slow. She forgets what she is supposed to be doing. She will sit there and insist on taking the time to open Spotify FIRST, when it is really Internet Explorer that she should be working on getting open for me. As I sit waiting for her, my expertly-worded thoughts are slowly disintegrating. What was I going to say? No idea. Let's go read trash talk on the Yahoo! Home page instead! Oscar dresses! No wait! PINTEREST! Yesssssss. Two hours later I resurface and we all know what happens when that happens....

To be clear, I am still talking about my trouble with my computer, not that I have a severe procrastination issue - okay?

If I do actually get through the ridiculously long launch time for the browser, and open my blog and log in, and not get distracted by reporting all the stupid web addresses that spam my blog, I just might actually start a missive. First I have to begin with a picture, because this is how I do things. Problem is, where is the picture I wanted?? Camera? iPhone? iPad? For the past year, I have been racking up pictures on the iPad. Over a thousand. For all this time, I have not been able to transfer them to the computer hard drive. Finally, two days ago, success! I even emptied my iPhone and the camera! Finally, all the pictures were in ONE place. I could now write about the pumpkin patch! Birthdays! Thanksgiving! Christmas! I start a new post, and prepare to upload the picture. Waiting....waiting...waiting...waiting

#*%^+¥&@!

Open a word doc, insert the pic, copy, paste in blog post, we're good to go. Writing, writing, writing... Post done! Just updated the world that Dean has a new car.

Start another post. I want to write about our Valentine's Day. Trying to problem solve, I spend the next twenty minutes logging out, restarting the computer, and waiting for the browser to open, all in an attempt to solve the issue with not being able to upload pictures to the blog. Open blog, write an opening paragraph, pick out six pictures to upload...waiting...waiting...waiting...

#*%^+¥&@!, #*%^+¥&@!, #*%^+¥&@!

Open a word doc, do it the hard way, add captions, proof read, save and post! Whew! Wait... Why isn't it posting? It's frozen. Refresh. All pictures lost, we're back to the first paragraph - without the revisions. What happened to the saved version?

Stupid #*%^+¥&@! computer! Is it Blogger? Picassa? Internet Explorer? Sigh.