Thursday, June 23, 2011

My 'white trash' moments will become treasures. In time...

Baby in the pool with just a swim diaper on? 

Yeah.... he's with me.

Three year old wading in the baby pool, fully clothed?

Yeah.... he's with me too.

Same three year old running around a swim meet with just a diaper on?

Um.  Yeah.  He's still with me.  But not for long.

Five year old in the baby pool, fully clothed as well?

YES.  She's with me too.  I'm so proud of our classy kids.


How to come prepared for a swim meet.

  1. Don't bring small children.  But if you must, do so at your own risk.
  2. Bring extra changes of clothes for every child.  Especially the child that will have explosive diarrhea in his diaper ten minutes after you arrive.  And not tell you about it.  Until the lovely brown streaks show up on his pants that alert you that 'something' is leaking.
  3. Don't change a child into his swim suit (because his shorts are now messy) and expect him to listen to you when you tell him NOT to get into the pool.  He won't.
  4. Bring tons of extra swim diapers.
  5. Bring at least five extra beach towels.
  6. Bring extra-large sunglasses so that 'maybe' you won't be recognized.
  7. Bring the camera.  You want to document this.  Really.
  8. Don't forget WHY you are at a swim meet.  You will have a child in the pool, swimming in a race, at least every 20 minutes.
  9. You can forget bringing a book, magazine, iPod and cell phone.  Unless of course you don't mind if one of your small children falls into the pool and drowns while you are distracted.
  10. Bring lots and lots and lots of snacks.
  11. Bring lots and lots and lots of waterbottles.  Because one of your children will think of them as squirt guns, and will use up all of the water - leaving none for anyone else to drink.  Thirsty, hot children are cranky children.
  12. Did I say DON'T bring small children?