The Sadist with a Syringe...

 

My right shoulder hurts.  It. hurts. a. lot.  So much so, that I am forced to take desperate measures.  Like, take ibuprofen and stuff.  And go to a physical therapist.  I'm not a fan of popping pills.  (well, besides the anti-depressants).  I don't like masking pain because then I do stupid heroic stuff.  Like help the home-renovation effort by ripping out the carpet in a room and all of the tacking strips.  Then I lay around and cry on the couch for the next two days because it hurts too much to do ANYTHING.  So, I'm not a big fan of pain, but I am even less of a fan of hiding it instead of figuring out what is causing it.

 

So, today I went to see the Sports Medicine Guy at my regular doctor's office because I don't know what else to do..

 

Here is my history -

 

* the pain sort of started last July.  It was mostly a deep chest pain on the right side, level with my arm pit, my heart was racing at times and numbness radiated down my arm.  It was the wrong side, but I thought maybe I was having a serious cardiac issue.

 

* I went to see my GP.  She ordered an EKG, chest x-ray and a blood test.  Nothing.

 

* I wore a heart monitor for two weeks.  Nothing.

 

* The racing stopped, the squeezing sensation gradually went away (we think it was a stress response), but the pain did not go away.  A few days here and there I felt perfectly normal, but there would always be 'a point' where a shock of pain would get my attention whenever I did a certain movement.

 

* Over the past several months, that pain has increased and the range of motion has decreased.  It's gotten other muscles involved, and now my entire right rotator cuff, pectoral area and shoulder blade and bicep are involved.  I am right-handed, so ANYTHING I do hurts.  Lift a full glass of water?  Agony.  Reach for a box of muffin mix and toss it in the grocery cart?  It brings me to my knees.  Lift down the bottle of laundry detergent?  Better grab your ear plugs..  Lift my arm to press the garage door opener in the car?  Groan and close my eyes.  Walk and swing my arms?  Not happening.  Pull the comforter over me when I get in bed?  A little scream might eek out.

 

And yet life has to go on..

Laundry

Dishes

Lifting the three yr. old

Shopping

Books

Typing

Shampoo

Getting dressed

 

* I finally consented to physical therapy.  I've had seven appointments in the past four weeks.  Nothing.  But now I have incredible tenderness under my arm... is there a life-changing tumor growing and I don't know it???  (Lots of sleep lost over the past few weeks about that...)

 

* I went back to the GP a couple of days ago.  Shoulder x-rays.  Nothing.  But nothing is good because it means there is no life-changing tumor lurking under there.  Nothing is bad because there is still no explanation for the pain and loss of strength and mobility.

 

* GP says see the Sports Medicine Guy.  Maybe he will order an MRI.  A tear in the rotator cuff could explain a lot of things.  This could be good.  Surgery could fix things!

 

* Sports Medicine Guy pokes and prods, lifts, pushes and pulls.  Bursitis is mentioned.  Then he grabs an assistant.  And an evil-looking syringe.

 

* That evil syringe full of steroids that went into the back of my shoulder hurt so. damn. bad., I nearly cried...and choked back the urge to throw up.  Ten hours later it feels no better.  In fact, I feel like my right arm is absolutely useless.  So I'll type a bit and bitch a bit and maybe that will make me feel better.

 

Nope.

 

Nothing.

 

 

 



Tribal customs

 

 

This blog post began percolating in my head a few weeks ago, when I came across the tribal concept Quinn Cummings mentioned in her book The Year of Learning Dangerously. When she and her preteen daughter began the adventure known as homeschooling, Quinn spent considerable time looking for a group that she and her daughter could identify with and feel supported by.

Any time you make a lifestyle choice (like homeschooling for example) that lies just outside the accepted cultural norm, you're going to receive pushback. Your family and friends will question you, along with well-meaning strangers and maybe an asshole or two that wants to know why your children are hanging out in the cereal aisle at 10 a.m. on a Tuesday. Having a group you identify with is super-helpful when you start to have your semi-annual panic attacks that you are ruining your children for life or when you are changing science curriculums and you just don't know what to choose. It's more than that though - having a group of like-minded families to fall back on is the best way to keep your head in the game and your heart focused on the big picture - that you like your kids so much that you are willing to spend all day with them - even if that means teaching that poop goes IN the potty, what the three sounds of 'A' are and how to simplify fractions... ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

I've been with my 'tribe' for almost six years now. I can remember my very first 'official' homeschool Park Day. It was in the beginning of August, 2007. Rylan was a wee 14 mo. old and Jordan was a newly-minted seven. We made our way over to a group of women, sitting on blankets under the large shade trees of our city park. They welcomed me with open arms. :). They admired Rylan's attempts to toddle in the sand, shared some ideas about anything and everything homeschooling, and even shared some strawberries. I had found my people. These women have been a tremendous support throughout all of these years. We have welcomed many newborn family members as they came along - I can't remember a time when there wasn't a babe-in-arms. We have a shared history that I treasure very much. I don't see them as often as I used to - as the kids grow they get more involved in other interests, and so our paths cross with less regularity.

This past Wednesday, the stars aligned and the sun shone bright. Thanks to the power of social media, we all convened at the park - some making their one and only annual Park Day appearance. (That means you Shawn and Amanda ;). It was glorious. I was feeling low (see previous post). My friends politely listened to my rant and then I felt much better. Owen single-handedly decimated Deanna's popcorn supply. Two mothers nursed their babies. Kids came for sips of water and then disappeared again. I got a sunburn. And I felt totally rejuvenated. This is my tribe. These women know my history, and I, theirs.

In regards to having a 'tribe' within the homeschooling community - I can't think of anything else that will have greater influence on your success rate with sticking it out than that. You need families that 'understand' what you are going through. The annual cycle of emotional ups and downs. The myriad of choices you must make, all the while trying to honor the individual child. The delicate balance of mother vs. teacher. The need for knitting, good books, bloggy comfort, coffee and wine - in no particular order. I don't know where we would be right now in our homeschooling journey if I hadn't encountered this wonderful group of women and their great kids. This tribe is my anchor. I wonder if we should come up with some kind of tribal tattoo...

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On being the 'Polite Police'

All it takes is one witchy female to totally shit on your day and instantly force you to reassess your life and whether or not you are achieving optimum happiness.

 

I am not achieving optimum happiness. For me, optimum happiness is starting out my day by greeting my children, having a nice breakfast and starting up our school day. Instead, I get to start my day by wasting the first two hours fielding several emails on three different accounts. I have to send out an email or two to remind someone to 'be nice' on our homeschooling Yahoo group because of my VOLUNTEER position as Membership Coordinator. And then I get the pleasure of being responded to with rudeness, vitriol or complete ignorance as to what constitutes as proper email etiquette.

 

Well, you know what? I'm done. I don't even really relate to this group anymore. Most of my homeschooling mom friends have sort of faded to black - I don't see them anymore except a very rare here and there. I've lost my tribe, I've lost my way, I've lost my willingness to be electronically shat on by people I wouldn't care to know otherwise...

 

Not sure a little blue happy pill can fix this one...

 

 

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Simple Woman's Daybook Entry

 

 

 

Outside my window... It is 8 am and the sun is shining and the birds are singing - it is going to be a gorgeous day! It did frost last night, and it is fun to watch the frost line recede across the back yard as the sun rises in the sky and over the roof line. Even though it is chilly I have the back door cracked open so I can hear the birds better.

I am thinking... about how much I love the yellow paint that is in the two rooms in the front of the house (east facing): the dining room and the piano room. Yellow is a bold color choice, but on mornings like this, the rooms positively glow. I was thinking about changing the paint color in the dining room since we are redoing the floor, but I can't bring myself to do it. I love that sunny glow too much!

I am thankful... that Jordan is flying home later this morning. I've missed my right-hand man.

From the Learning Rooms... This past week was our traditional off-week (last week of the month) so that is why Jordan left to do his visitation with his mom last week. On Tuesday I asked Rylan if she would like to do a math lesson (she was bored), and she said "NO! If Jordan is on vacation from school, then I am on vacation." Well. Even though she was "on vacation", she did manage to keep herself busy. She made a map of the downstairs (a treasure map), and paced around counting her steps from room to room. This was the day that I was tearing out the carpet in the dining room, so I had to keep shooing her out of there because of the carpet tack strips around the edges. Her map turned out pretty well. She hid the "treasure" (a drawing) inside an empty diaper box, and made her dad follow her map when he got home from work, since the treasure was for him. It was very sweet. She also made a bow with a stick and a long rubber band (cut) that I tied to each end. She had used a plastic stick with a point on the end (it came from a small American flag) as the arrow. Dean cut a notch in the end of the stick so that she could use it to hold the rubber band in place when she drew her 'arrow', and it actually works! So we have had a mini-Katniss running around all week. We have cautioned her about pointing it at the various living creatures in these parts. So far, it's only been near-misses.

In the kitchen... Is a floor that is 1/3 completed! Yeah!

I am wearing... pjs

I am creating... just this post I'm afraid...

I am going... to Denver Int'l Airport in about an hour. Then we head to the Denver Zoo for some family time, and then on to my brother and SIL's for dinner with family. It is Easter, but they are putting on a very relaxed meal. My SIL said that we had better show up in jeans or we'll be sent home to change. (love that!) In our family, Easter has been traditionally spent at my aunt and uncle's house - a family-style potluck of the traditional Easter favorites, followed by an egg hunt for the little kids. This year marks an abrupt change for all of us, since my uncle passed away in December. My aunt has flown to Florida to spend some time with her granddaughter, and the rest of us have sort of splintered off to do our own thing. The time felt right for me, personally, to make a change in how we celebrate the holiday all-together. As in, we don't. We did our baskets on Spring Equinox, dyed our eggs then and had a super-stinky fridge for a couple of days. The last of the four chocolate bunnies are on the back of kitchen counter..almost gone.

I am wondering...about the weather forecast that calls for snow tomorrow. Crazy Colorado weather.

I am reading... the same - The Year of Homeschooling Dangerously, and The Drums of Autumn. Neither of which I cracked last week, even though it was our off week and I could have easily disappeared into a book. Too much else to do.

In the garden... Peas, beets and spinach! I have ne-ver planted this early! I put them in on March 21, and staked out some soaker hose for use later, when it warms up. Nothing is up yet.

I am hoping... That our lawn some-what survives this summer with the watering restrictions that are going to be in place. We get to water two days a week.

I am looking forward to... the Zoo! Wish me luck - our license plates expire this month, and today is the last day of the month. As you may remember, I don't have much luck when it comes to the stupid parking police, so I am openly inviting potential trouble here...

I am learning... This past week I Googled for information about charitable tax-deductions and the Badoink! iPad 'virus' - and nasty thing that may have infiltrated our router. Strangely enough, it only pops up on my iPad whenever I click on a certain friend's link to her blog whenever she posts it in Facebook. It has happened twice now and it very disturbing and unsettling. It has nothing to do with my friend's blog per se - but it is super weird how it only happens with her links. And we all thought that Apple products were safe from stuff like this... :( I just may have to go visit the Apple store for this.

I am hearing... Depeche Mode's newest album 'Delta Machine'. I love, love, love the track 'Heaven'. The first few times I heard it (in the past couple of weeks) I kept thinking it was Muse - they sound exactly alike in that song...

Around the house... The contents of the dining room are now temporarily in the piano room while Dean finishes the floor. Dean reconnected the dishwasher earlier this week, so after two weeks of washing dishes by hand, I have a machine again! Which is awesome, because the dirty dishes definitely had the upper hand there.

I now have a clean desk! After months and months of mess, I finally pushed through and got it done - it was my goal for this past week.

I am pondering... What will happen with the North Korea situation. That's a little scary, isn't it?

One of my favorite things... A clean desk.

A few plans for the rest of the week... Back to schoolwork! And the normal activity routine.

Here is a picture for thought I am sharing...

Our spring baskets...

Happy Easter to all who are celebrating today! :)

 

 

 

To read more entries and visit a variety of other blogs, go here...

 

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Season's Greetings

 

 

I am totally rockin' the procrastination thang..

 

 

At long last I have gained back that square foot of desk space that has been occupied by the stack of unfinished Christmas cards since mid-November.  Our Shutterfly family photo card framed in festive greens and reds, along with the ubiquitous 'Annual Christmas Letter' (revised multiple times as time kept ticking by) is officially on its way to 40 or so unsuspecting family members and friends.

 

 

I.  am.  awesome.





Spill all the Kool-aid you want...

How to 'remove' carpet stains.

 

1. Remove the photo-bombing kitty.

 

2. Remove the carpet.

3. Put your feet up and call it a day*.

 

 

Time spent removing stains: seven minutes. Beat that, Resolve carpet 'cleaner'!

 

 

(*after you spend the next hour pulling carpet staples and nailing strips)

 

(Good times)

 

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To Deanna, with love...

My friend Deanna is infatuated with the city of Loveland, CO. She makes a point to regularly extol its many virtues and laments the fact that she is, sadly, only a weekly visitor and not a resident - I mean she really, really loves Loveland. ;)

And I mean, what's not to love? There are fabulous sculptures on every street corner and in every park... (and I really do love that about Loveland)

There are dozens of cultural events throughout the year...

Larimer County Fair, 2012

 

'Pastels on 5th' 2012 (benefit fundraiser for Alternatives to Violence)

 

 

Loveland Downtown Trick-or-Treating, 2012

 

 

Friends to meet at the park...

 

Homeschool Park Day, 2012

Homeschool Park Day, 2012
(the one where the girls brought their princess dresses)

Beautiful natural areas...

Gathering water samples along the Big Thompson River, 2012

The weather can get a little too hot though...

I hate summer...

 

 

And then the freak show begins...

 

 

First you have the haters...

 

If any of your liberal friends have gone missing, you might want to check with this guy.

 

Then you have the decorators who touch up your car 'for free'...

 

 

 

Then... you have this.

 

 

?

 

Thank goodness Deanna alerted the blogosphere to its existence, because when I caught sight of it the next day while spending time at a park while the older two were in karate class, I was prepared. I had on sunglasses. With UV filters. I can just imagine the sort of damage this might do to your retinas, otherwise.

 

 

 

So let the freak show continue! Loveland, you entertain me (us) in so many ways...

 

(I'm just glad I live outside your city limits.)

 

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