Wecome to Denver! Here's your parking ticket...

It's no secret to my friends that I am not on friendly terms with the Denver Parking Violations Bureau.

Today I wish to rake these money-hungry bastards through the coals.

First Violation:

10-21-10

I took my kids to the Denver Zoo.  Unfortunately I didn't check the Zoo online calendar before we left, and figured out upon arrival that it must have been a free Zoo day.  NO parking was to be found - anywhere.  I circled for twenty minutes before a nice gentleman, walking through the parking lot, waved me down and pointed out a spot that had just opened up.  It was on a gentle curve, but I managed to parallel park quite nicely.  Or so I thought.  As we arrived back at the car later that afternoon,(hot, hungry and crabby), there was a nice little ticket tucked in my door handle.  My first parking ticket ever.  Bastards.  I looked at it.  I was parked 21 inches away from the curb, and the legal limit is 18.  I got out a measuring tape and checked it myself.  Why, yes, I did have a measuring tape in the car!  It was in Rylan's carseat -  a little Hobby Lobby cheapie that she likes to play with.  My front wheels?  10 inches away.  My back wheels?  20 inches away.  I got a $25 ticket for being two inches further from the curb than I ought to have been.  To top it off, I didn't read the fine print, forgot about the ticket, and went to pay it about three weeks later.  On day 21, to be exact.  Problem is, if the fine isn't paid within twenty days - it doubles.  Nice.

Second Violation:

3-6-12

Again, a trip to the Denver Zoo.  Colin received some cash gifts for the birthday, and the plan was to purchase a family pass with the money.  We arrive shortly after the 9 am opening and go to the membership desk to purchase our pass.  At the exact same time I am paying for our pass, a pathetic instrument of the City's pension program is writing me a ticket for expired plates.  He passed by our car within a mere ten minutes of us vacating it.  My plates expired at the end of Jan - and Feb was our grace period.  I am a wicked, dangerous felon who drove around with plates that were on their sixth day past the grace period.  I am such a danger to the city and a menace to society.  I now plan to be a menace to the Denver Parking Violations Bureau. 

See the officer's name up there?  Shirland?  Here is a little something about "officer" Shirland.

Nice, huh?  Nice to now belong to one of the THOUSANDS of Denver visitors and residents that he has ticketed for benign parking violations.  The city has refused to acknowledge that they were in the wrong.  The city "SAID" that he was taken off of the streets and reassigned to another department.  I am here to say that my ticket proves that the city LIED.  This man is once again going about his business lining the city's coffers with tax-payers hard-earned money. 

I called his supervisor to question Mr. Shirland's ability to write tickets again.  He has yet to call me back.  I sent an email to the reporter (Brian Maass) that broke the investigative story a year ago.  He wrote me back within 30 minutes.  His take was depressing though: not much we can do.  He is not surprised the city put him back on the streets.  It all comes down to $$$$.

It is expensive enough to do anything in Denver.  Now you've got Big Brother following you through the parking lots, waiting for you to turn your back so that they can pounce and write a ticket because your car is parked one centimeter too far to the right.

So you've been warned people!!

Top 3 things to get a ticket for:

1. Meter violation

2. Street Sweeping

3. License Plate Violation

Denver is looking for anything and everything to nail you for.  Take a tape measure.  Make sure both of your plates are up to snuff.  Hanging crooked?  Ticket.

Shame on you Denver.  Shame on your "officers" who drum up an incredible amount of revenue for you - and only you.  Money that will go to you instead of area attractions, restaurants, stores, etc...  But of course, how else can you pay for all of those business expense receipts that are submitted by your personnel on a regular basis??

Denver.  Fail.