Wednesday, May 16, 2012


Am I the cruel type of mom that will post her 12 yr old son's first love note for all of the "internets" to see? 

Why yes.  Yes I am.

But not for the reason that you might think.  I am not out to embarrass him or make him feel bad... it just makes for good blog fodder!!  I will have to make my case for non-embarrassment pretty air-tight though, because that boy is getting more internet-savvy by the day, and he will find his own way to this blog sooner or later.

Back to the note.

We homeschool.  No note-passing in these parts unless you count the endless love notes Rylan writes to her brothers on a daily basis.  We don't do any outside enrichment classes as of late.. not even Sunday school.  Nope.  Never the less, this note-passing thing happened, yesterday, in karate of all places.  Not during class though (that would have been amusing), but afterwards, as everybody was trying to squeeze out the door.  A boy came forward and pressed the note into Jordan's hand.  He was obviously the messenger, and I think he had an idea of the note's contents, because he just couldn't get away fast enough.

Jordan and I were in the middle of a discussion about a scheduling headache this coming weekend with belt promotions and a boy scout campout happening simultaneously.  (I will have to drive an hour up into the mountains on Saturday to retrieve him, deliver him to karate to go through his testing, and then drive him back to camp.  All without knowing exactly where he will be camping.  Good times are a-comin' this weekend!

Back to the note.

As I said - we were in the middle of logistics when this note landed in his open hand.  He opened it and turned beet-red about 5 seconds later.  He must have read the 'sexy' part.  He then handed ME the note because it must have been causing mild burns on his hand or something...

Now stop right here - what 12 year old boy, in his right mind, would shove a love note that he received into his parent's hand?  Our sweet (and maybe a little too innocent, when it comes to these things) Jordan, that's who!  This right of passage was just thrust upon him and he had no idea what to do with it.  I love, love, love, that he invites us in to help him navigate this turn of events.  I cringe at the sad thought of countless pre-teens, all faced with this eventual scenario, who just thrust the note into the back of the sock drawer, and hope it will all go away.  They walk downstairs and hardly utter a word during dinner.  Their mind is working away the whole while, dreading going back to school the next day.  All because somebody 'likes' them.  These are big feelings and no wonder kids don't know what to do with them!

I'm not an idiot, I knew exactly what the note was going to be about.  You just 'know'.  I just held its small folded-self in my hand as we finished our discussion.  First - I wasn't going to give the note-giver any more of the satisfaction of watching Jordan read it and be further embarrassed.  Second - I hope they saw it land in my hands.  Muah-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!  The evil parent now holds the note!!!  Oh, the horror!!!  And to think she took it straight home and POSTED IT ON HER BLOG!

When we got into the car, I gave it back to Jordan (without opening it), and innocently asked, "So.  What does it say?".  He got as far as... "I love you Jordan.  you've got a secret lover."  Then he handed it back to me, embarrassed again, and asked me to finish reading it because he didn't want to read the next word...."Sexy".

Two things.

1.  She used the gross terminology "secret lover".  WHO says that?  She must be reading her mom's trash novels.

2.  She used 'you've' correctly.  At least she has that going for her!

The note finishes out with directions on where to leave a note for her in return (in an 'emty shoe cuby at karatie'), along with the indication that she was not going to share her name.  She now loses all credibility with me because she can't even spell 'karate' correctly.  Yes, I know.  I'm a spelling-Nazi.  Can't help it.

So that leaves poor Jordan with the burning question of: "WHO is his secret lover??"

On this particular day there were four possible candidates.  One of which he likes very much, and has for quite awhile.  But I don't think it is her.  She doesn't look like the type who would use the words - secret lover.  I do think she likes him too, though.  Her dad is aware of the situation too because he always gives me a knowing smile when he arrives to pick her up at the end of class.  We have this unspoken agreement:  We approve.  We will rotate holidays and welcome grandchildren in about 18 years' time.

So that leaves the other three, all of which seem equally likely to use secret lover, which is why I don't like them.  What unsocialized homeschooler uses that word?  Oh yeah...the 'socialized' ones.

That is what makes this whole situation so ridiculously funny to me.  Yes, part of the reason we homeschool is to shelter our kids from the pressures of growing up too fast.  So here we are, seeking to dodge this kind of stuff, and it happens anyway.  You can't win!!  It is harmless at this point - maybe even a little 'cute', but it is actually painful to watch Jordan grapple with this sort of thing.  He's growing up...and there is no way to stop it.

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