Holes

"Every time your child says something unkind...to a family member, he is sent

outside to hammer a nail into a post.  Every time a kind word is said, have the

child remove a nail.  The nail will be somewhat rusty, and will of course leave

a hole in the post.  Remind your child that although kind words are nice, the damage

will remain, and it is a wise choice to control what you say".

-Creative Correction by Lisa Welchel

I really used to enjoy going to Park Day.  That changed one day last September, when a particularly nasty-tempered girl told Rylan that she had big ears.  (I love my daughter to death, and yes, she does have ears that stick out quite a bit, but still...)  Rylan was crushed.  She's five, and that was the first time anyone ever pointed it out to her - let alone SCREAM it in her face.  The mother of that little girl never made her daughter aware of the amount of hurt she caused or even offered an apology for the incident.  She tried to have a "feelings" discussion with her daughter... and her daughter was in the middle of a blind rage.  (That's when you mutter to yourself, "No wonder that girl is homeschooled!")  We left shortly after that.

A month or two later a little boy was unapologetic as he revealed to Rylan that the Tooth Fairy does not exist.  Rylan hasn't even had the pleasure of losing a tooth yet, and she is already full of doubt.  We have yet to go back to a Park Day at this point.  We kind of make the most of Park Day in our own way...  By playing at a park on the other side of town.

I bring this up now, for two reasons.

1.  Enough time has passed that I can now relate the story without using an obscene number of expletives, aimed at people I know and that know me.

2.  Rylan, in the midst of a play session with her Barbies this afternoon, suddenly stopped and loudly exclaimed, "Uuugh!  I wish I could get that ugly girl out of my head that told me I had big ears!"  "Do I have big ears??"

-sigh-

I wish I could get that ugly girl out of your head too, Rylan.  I wish I could fill in those nail holes so that it was like they didn't even exist.  But.  That is life.  People will say mean things.   And even though the people who love you will say kind things to take away the pain, the holes will still be there.  Some critics say that homeschooled children are at a loss as to how to take the playground taunting that all the other kids get used to, and that they are missing out on honing such interpersonal skills as:

* engaging in snappy comebacks - and becoming just as ugly as your aggressor

* getting a thick skin (yet silently hating yourself and requiring lots of expensive therapy in later years)

* starting rumors meant to hurt the other person

* taking names of which mutual friends you can bring to your side

* starting whisper campaigns - the more subversive the better

Get over it you say... "Not everyone is nice."  (You can say that again...)

Well society?... you suck.  It shouldn't have to be this way.

So therein lies the beauty of homeschooling... we don't have to play with the same mean kids who menace the all other kids on the playground, day after day.  We can pick up our toys and go home.  We have (for the most part) the ability to selectively choose our playmates. 

To make a successful go of it in our society, you owe it to yourself to surround yourself with those who make you feel happy, productive, creative... and well, even loved, for that matter.  So that is what I am teaching my kids.  You don't have to 'learn how to take it' when others treat you badly - because you don't have to.

And as a gentle reminder to all - take the time to choose your words carefully - they really do leave a lasting impression, and can hurt the ones you love the most.

Maintain eye contact...

Look at her.  He's got her by the lapel...  But no.  She's pursed her lips in concentration.  She is looking him square in the eye.  So that's it... my little girl is a thousand times braver than I am.

I know who I am sending in to fight the fight if we ever get caught in a dark alley.

No smiling!  There's no smiling in karate!

You know what she said on the way home?

"I was the loudest, mom.  I was even louder than the boys".

Finding balance...

Ever had days like this??

I'm not going to play the "My day is tougher than your day..."game, but homeschooling moms (or dads...) have it especially rough.... I often feel like I am spinning, spinning, spinning....just to keep up with everything.

The basics: food, clothing and several diaper changes.  I got waylayed with the usual laundry load yesterday and Monday by Owen, who decided that it was much to difficult to get out of bed and walk the two feet to his little potty, and that his bed is a much better place to go.  Two separate loads are required to get all of the pillows, blankets, sheets and mattress cover cleaned.  Total washing and drying time: 5 hours.  Forget washing anything else... except the emergency pairs of underwear to keep the rest of us semi-presentable.

The housework:  ummmm....well.... does dumping out the old coffee, swishing the pot once or twice and refilling it count??  Jordan and I did manage to get the kitchen swept yesterday morning, while making breakfast.  We both forgot that scrambled eggs were cooking.  Nothing worse than smelling 'burnt egg smell' all day.  Especially when you can't stand eggs to begin with. (me)

The schoolwork: You can only request a child to "Go read a book" so often...  We actually had a stellar day on Monday - I'll address that in a separate post.  Yesterday we got waylayed by the silly workbooks we have to do for karate - and you can't test until they are all turned in - and testing is this Saturday.  Total time to finish just the workbooks for both Rylan and Jordan: about an hour and a half - on top of everything else we need to do.

The personal time:  I got to read two 'pages' on my Kindle yesterday.  I did so while stirring the Spanish Rice I was making for dinner.  I'm reading Bossypants, and I laughed out loud at how Tina Fey doesn't use the word 'blonde' when she is reading fairytales to her young daughter.  Instead, she substitutes yellow-haired', so that the connotation that blonde hair is somehow better than brown hair is avoided.  The little girl is not fooled - she prefers the blonde over the brown.  With respect to Rylan, this very subject came up the other day when we were playing with her Disney princess dolls.  She loves her Belle doll best, and I shared that I like her best, too.  I make a concerted effort to make a kind remark about Rylan's brown hair from time to time... I have brown hair too, and I remember growing up - a child of the 70's, in the shadow of long, beautiful blonde hair as being the mark of true beauty.  I don't ever want Rylan to feel like she is anything 'less'.  Not sure what the little girl ideals are these days.... Monster High?  Brats?  Somehow I don't think awkwardly huge heads and feet are appealing, much less humanly possible. 

Networking with others:  I know that D is grateful for their home after a long Christmas vacation, that A just bought some fabulous running shoes and has set a goal to run 500 miles this year (I am so envious!), and that S is juggling sick kids with sick pets.  And I got the gist of that from their blog updates during the other five minutes of free time that I had yesterday.  Having any face time with friends is downright impossible.

Time with my husband: yesterday we had to take a detour to get him to his drop-off point for his commuter van.  We spent the time bickering about which route was faster and searching on the smart phone for the reason why there was a detour.  I got home and found out on the local newspaper's website that there was a horrible fatal accident.  We spent the time during the ride home trying to figure out how the accident could have happened, now that the route was open again.  Then Dean went to do a Board of Review for an Eagle Scout who is squeaking in a Palm Leaf before his 18th birthday on Thursday.  On Monday night, we got all the kids in bed by 9:00, and enjoyed watching The Colbert Report and a new episode of Portlandia on the DVR.  That was nice... I needed some down time, and we are about 20 episodes behind with respect to The Daily Show and The Colbert Report.  Portlandia is absolutely hilarious - I strongly recommend watching the first season (6 episodes) from last year, just so you get a 'feel' for the show.

It's hard to fall into bed and night and ever think "I got so much done today!".  If you focus on one of the plates, all the others get into a rather precarious position.  Why, why, why is balance such an elusive thing?  I know we all struggle with it, on a daily, if not hourly, basis.

I am working on a new school schedule for us, trying to find that balance.  We are trying out the new schedules this week... and it's sorta working.  Lots of tweaking is in store, but I think I have found a way to combine household chores/schoolwork/play into a flow that works for us.  

Simple Woman's Daybook Entry

Outside my window... Ha!  I've moved everything around, so this answer has changed!  I now look out the front bay window.  The sun is *just* about to peek over the neighbor's roof across the street.  Then I have about ten more minutes and the sun will be at the right angle to hit the computer screen.  I know that this will only be an irritation for about another month, and then the angle of the sun will have changed enough that it won't happen again until next fall.  I also just saw a couple walking by with their two dogs.  You could set your watch by them.  Always at 7:45 a.m. they are walking by.  They also do an evening walk.  Four years ago, in late January, they stopped by and knocked on the door.  It was so cold that night...  They had found a small cat huddled under the overhang of our front bay window, and picked her up and knocked on the door to ask if she was ours.  Indeed, she wasn't, but because they were out walking their dogs, they couldn't very well take her home to call the Humane Society, so I offered to take her and make the call instead.  She had a red collar and no tags.  No microchip either.  We offered to adopt her and two weeks later she was officially ours.  We were not cat people at the time, but she has been the best little cat.  Except for when she swallowed the pin.

I am thinking... How debilitating Codependent thinking can be.  I spent over eleven years with an alcoholic.  Before that, I had to contend with the worst Type-A you can imagine.  I know what it is like to live that way.  You just want everyone to be happy, and you will enable situations and scenarios to play out simply to keep things looking like 'normal'.  I got help, and I don't think like this anymore, but I have been thinking about it lately since a friend, who lives in another state, is living through a nightmare.  She has a stalker who is getting increasingly bizarre in his attempts to reach her.  A police officer who has taken on the case has recommended a book to her: The Gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker.  It is about listening to and trusting your intuition, and learning how to recognize danger.  When I think back to the crazy things that I did in my early twenties... Camping alone with just my dog, agreeing to go out bar-hopping with Aussie kids I didn't know (it was before date-rape drugs were popular, but still), walking the Brisbane city streets at night - alone!!, walking/bicycling the college campus at all hours of the night, being semi-drunk and walking with groups of strangers to try and find bathrooms... the list, unfortunately goes on and on, I really put myself at risk a boat-load of times.  I even do it now, on occasion.  BUT - I do trust my gut and I have only done it when I totally felt 'okay' with it.

The best time that I ever put myself at risk?  The time I agreed to meet Dean - at my house - for the first time, so he could pick me up for our first date.  We had talked on the phone numerous times, and emailed back and forth more times than I could count, so I felt like it was safe.  My intuition was totally correct on that one!!  :)

I am thankful... That my friend has a good support system in place to help keep her safe - and for things like Google Latitude so I can keep tabs on her (per her request).

I am thankful for the gift of time during  the past two weeks - the most productive weeks imaginable.  We got a ton of junk and trash out of the house and can now use our living space as it was intended..

I am also thankful that Owen has had three days in a row of being completely dry.  He is now going - by himself- to the big potty and taking care of business when he needs to.  Yahoo!!

From the Learning Rooms... We now have an official school room!  I just purchased a subscription to Reading Eggs for Owen, Rylan and Jordan.  I am looking forward to spending some time with that this coming week.  I have been wanting this program for a loooooong time!


In the kitchen... Cooked up a storm this weekend.  I made lasagna on Friday night.  I changed things a bit because I am still on the hunt for a really good lasagna.  I'm getting closer.  I think I have the sauce right, but I really need to cook it and then let it sit in a crock pot for several hours to let the flavors meld.  I first sauteed the ground beef (sorry - 'no can do' on the Italian sausage - I can't eat it), and then as it was draining I sauteed the onions, garlic and mushrooms.  I bloomed the spices (this was a first, and I think it really helped), and then stirred in the tomato paste, diced tomato and crushed tomato. Yep - I used all three.  I like the little chunks of tomato - but not a ton - so that is where the crushed comes in.  The sauce just tasted too 'tomatoey', which is why I think letting it sit in a crockpot might help.  I used cottage cheese this time, instead of ricotta.  I just can't stand ricotta.  I also used fresh spinach, instead of frozen (drained and thawed).  I liked the difference.  Dean says I need to use more cheese.  He always says that. I will try again in a couple of months...

I also made Pioneer Woman's blackberry cobbler.  Two words: Yum  E.  Loved the crunchy sugar crust.

Last night was' Easy Ropa Vieja stew', from the November '11 issue of Taste of Home.  Very good, but I don't see what is so 'easy' about this stew.  It was a lot of work to put it together - it took me nearly 45 minutes to get it all situated in the crock pot.  It was a little too spicy for Owen and Colin, but I had a ton of extra lasagna on hand. 

I went shopping with my Christmas money last week, and I purchased two items at Bed Bath & Beyond last weekend that I have been lusting after for years...   One was a large-sized mesh strainer.  The other was this...

It is a Fontignac Round 5-Quart Casserole. (cast iron with enamel coating.)  They retail at BB&B for $99.99, but the green and the yellow were discounted to $79.99.  I chose the green.  I suppose if I had the disposable income to purchase a Le Creuset I might, but I don't see why, at this point.  This pot is nothing short of awesome!!!  I have used it nine times in the last week alone.  I love that I can SEE what is happening to the food.  Before I was using a non-stick dutch oven, and with the black coating, you can't really see what the food is doing.  I love that I can finally deglaze properly.  I love how fast, and how evenly the food cooks.  I love how solid it is.  I love how easy it is to clean it.  I don't love how hot the handles get, but I am learning.  And I love that it is green.  It's beautiful!  So a huge thank you to my MIL and SIL for the Christmas money so that I could purchase this gem.  I LOVE IT!


I am wearing...   Pjs.  What else?  To add spice, I am also wearing socks with crocs.  ooooo.

I am creating...  A new, comprehensive school schedule.  We have some new items to work in, and I want to make sure I create a dedicated time of day to do it.  New this year - a nature walk EVERY DAY to coincide with my intention to get more nature study in.  Here is our guide... I love, love this site.  Even if you are not a homeschooler - you could learn so much by doing this yourself.  I highly recommend it!

I am going... To walk the dog in a bit.  Just my dog, my tunes and some fresh air.


I am wondering...  if my orthotics will ever feel good...


I am reading... Bossy Pants, by Tina Fey.  Well, it's at least on my Kindle.  I haven't read it yet.  And I better get crackin' - book club meets this Thursday!

I am hoping... for the gift of uninterrupted reading time this week.  Hun??


I am looking forward to... book club this week and karate belt promotions this coming weekend.


I am hearing...  Pandora is playing right now - tuned to Keyboard Classics. Currently Playing: Suite for solo cello No. 6 in D major, by Bach.  In the other room I hear Kung Fu Panda on the TV.  And Colin messing with the baby monitor up in his room.  I love, love, love that the computer is in a separate room from the TV now.  It makes it so much easier to write.

Around the house... Laundry catch-up and grocery shopping today.

I am pondering... getting the kids on their bikes after lunch.


One of my favorite things... Is this sunny office area.  I just can't get over how good it feels to have such a nice workspace.  We are truly blessed!

A few plans for the rest of the week... Dedicated school week.  Scouts tomorrow night.  Book club on Thursday night.  Play date for Rylan on Friday.  Her second.  EVER.  I'm thrilled!  Belt testing for Rylan on Sat.  Jordan is doing his second round of Merit Badge University classes that morning, so he will do his promotions make-up next Wednesday.  It will be a big one - he is advancing into the Black Belt Club.  He gets a new gi and will start using his sparring hear.  And I will have about twenty patches to hand sew.  yay......


Here is a picture for thought I am sharing...

We enjoyed some gorgeous, sunny weather this past week.  As I was watching Owen at play, it all of a sudden hit me that I don't see Owen as a little toddler anymore.  I see a young boy.  He's getting taller, and skinnier.  I got so sad at this stage with Rylan, but with Owen it is different.  He is potty trained now!  He articulates some pretty complex thoughts and feelings.  He can serve himself some simple snacks and drinks.  I am very proud.. and I still melt when I look into those big, brown eyes.  Love you little guy!

To read more entries and visit a variety of other blogs, go here...

2011 in Review

I'm still in reflection mode, and I found this awesome list of questions today during a rather long, drawn-out blog surfing session.  Believe it or not, I was originally searching for birdseed ornament directions for our Daisy meeting this Friday.  Damn you Family Fun website for tempting me down this rabbit hole!

1.      What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

Well, I began my list of 40 Things.  To date I have accomplished the following:

# 1 - Had a Mammogram

# 2 - Built a gingerbread house

I knew you would be impressed...admit it that you are jealous I am such an accomplished person...

2.      Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions and will you make more for next year?
Here is what I wrote out last year, on Dec.31st, 2010...

* create a master 52 week cleaning schedule (completed through week 13)

I discovered FlyLady and she does it for me! I even get it sent to my inbox every morning. Now I just need to clean out the 329 FlyLady emails that are still in my inbox...

* create a master 52 week recipe/menu/shopping list plan (completed 2 weeks worth)

What am I, insane??

* create a master daily schedule for each child so that I can make sure I am meeting the daily minimum of their educational needs.

Sigh. I so wanted to make this work for me. I am in the process of revising the schedule now - since we only have afternoon naps to contend with at this point. I also want to incorporate my goals for this coming year: time to mess around with bugs/dirt/plants/art supplies/and kid-friendly household chemicals.

My motto for the upcoming year remains the same: Revise and make it work.

3.      Did anyone close to you give birth?
Well... Does this current New Year's Day count?  My niece (by marriage) gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, Marshall, at 5:30 am.  He was the first baby of the year at the hospital they delivered at.

4.      Did anyone close to you die?
This one is painful... Yes - three wonderful grandmothers.
Dean's maternal grandma, Essie, in January
My maternal grandma, Betty, in April
My paternal grandma, Bobbie, in October.

It's been a long, dreadful year in this respect.

5.      What countries did you visit?
Does Oklahoma count?  That sometimes feels like another country...

6.      What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Sleep

7.      What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
April 17th and October 7th - when my grandmothers passed away

8.      What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Finding my calling to write, write, write... It has been my salvation.
-or-
Getting Owen to poop on the potty.  Take your pick...

9.      What was your biggest failure?
Putting straw mulch in the garden.  An absolute botanical catastrophe...

10.   Did you suffer illness or injury?
I have been suffering with plantar fasciitis since fall of 2010.  I just got my orthotics a couple of weeks ago.  It doesn't exactly feel like a miracle yet...  Pretty bummed about that.

Otherwise I am very thankful that my only major complaint is a nasty cold that will not go away.

11.   What was the best thing you bought?
The 13 week course for Financial Peace University.

12.   What was the best thing you received?
My iPhone4 that I got from my husband for my birthday...
-but-
My new FlyLady purple rags and scrubba tools come in a very close second... or my new cast iron enamel dutch oven... can't decide.

13.   Whose behavior merited celebration?
Owen has been just awesome during the whole potty training process.  He frequently has accidents, but his attitude has been very upbeat.  He is such a sweet kid...

14.   Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The Republican portion of the Senate.

15.   Where did most of your money go?
Interest payments.  And diapers.  And Starbucks.  And karate lessons.

16.   What did you get really excited about?
Going to see U2 at Mile High, Skiing with Rylan last spring and cutting up our first credit card.

17.   What song will always remind you of 2011?
Us Against the World, by Coldplay.

18.   Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? B) thinner or fatter? C) richer or poorer?
a) happier - much happier!     b) about the same... boo.    c) we stopped the bleeding but we are walking along the edge every day...

19.    What do you wish you’d done more of?
Spent time with my grandmas...

20.   What do you wish you’d done less of?
Eating out - our single most extravagant expenditure...

21.   How did you spend Christmas?
A little of this... and a little of that...

22.   What was your favorite TV program?
The Closer, Modern Family and The Middle.

23.   What were your favorite books of the year?
The Blue Zones and The Help

24.   What was your favorite music from this year?
Coldplay, Foster the People and Adele 21 - and Jimmy Fallon's rendition of the Reading Rainbow

25.   What were your favorite films of the year?
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2
Tangled

26.   What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 40.  We went camping, had a nice family dinner and then Dean and I went out to our favorite 'special occasion' restaurant for dinner the next night.  It was the best of birthdays...  :)

27.   What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
It is selfish, but I wish our grandmas were still here.  They all had health issues and so, in a way, they are at peace now.  But I miss them terribly - the holiday season was exceptionally rough. 

28.   What political issue stirred you the most?
It is a toss-up between the no-tax-hike oath that all of the Republicans took (which will mean the death of America if we don't vote them out of office soon....) or the FOX network's assertion that Socialism is a dirty word.  What bothers me the most, though, is that a political argument between me and cousin of mine earlier this year means that we are no longer on speaking terms, and that makes me very, very sad.  I can't bring myself to understand his view, and he ridicules me for mine.

29.   What kept you sane?
Writing out all of my joys, fears, concerns, rants, and so forth...  And Dove dark chocolate.

30.   Who did you meet this year?
I met a couple of new homeschooling moms that are an inspiration to me - their sage advice has spurred a lot of interesting discussion in our group.  We met at a non-profit center one night, in early fall, for our monthly homeschool association meeting, and it feels like we are on the cusp of something big.  A fusion of public/private/homeschool education endeavours...  The future of education is changing rapidly, and I am excited to see what is in store.  I remember the drive home that night... my mind was racing with the possibilities.

31.   Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

I will never be able to do all of the charitable things I want to do in life until we pay off our debts and become good financial stewards with what we do have.

32.  Best song lyric for the year?

Coldplay's Every Teardrop is a Waterfall.   Love the entire song!!

We've moved! sort of.....



"People, when they perform a behavior a lot — especially in the same environment, same sort of physical setting — outsource the control of the behavior to the environment".
                                                                                                      - David Neal


We listened to a very timely piece on NPR's Morning Edition yesterday morning, about how the best way to follow through on an intention (or resolution) is to change your environment.  Case in point - if you are trying to lose weight, and you have a nightly ritual of sitting on the same spot on the couch, with three scoops of ice cream in your favorite bowl, watching your favorite late night show, you won't have success in eating better if you don't break up that entire scenario.  Move the couch.  Ditch the bowl.  Purchase a different type of dessert - low calorie, preferably.  Watch the show on the DVR at a different time of day.  You get into a rut, and your brain becomes trained to do it the same way, over and over again - it goes on autopilot.  Those are the most difficult of all habits to break.

This story was amusing to hear after we had just spent the past week moving practically everything around in our house.  We have been wanting to make better use of our space for quite some time.  We live in a two-story house with an unfinished basement.  Each level is 'about' 900 sq.ft.  Since we spend about 80% of our time inside the house on the main floor, we have been six people crammed into 900 sq. ft.  That can make for some cranky kids and even crankier parents.  The main floor consists of the kitchen, living room, office, dining room, entryway, 1/2 bath and a coat closet.  The kitchen is a very nice size - it is my favorite room in the house.  The living room has an odd shape with little wall space.  For the past 18 months it has also had all of the office furniture in it too.  It was where we did the bulk of our school work.  We would rotate the desk to make a "U' shape during the week, and then push it back against the wall during the weekends to make more floor space.  We only had room for one couch and one recliner in there, so there were constant fights for places to sit to watch TV.  The front room is what I suppose would be where most people would traditionally put the office.  We used to have our office in there, but it was too tight of a fit.  Once we inherited my grandmother's piano, that was the place it needed to go, so we moved our office out and the piano in.  The fish tank and a recliner and the small love seat couch were crammed in there as well.  The dining room has served as the playroom for a number of years.  Four kids had very little floorspace to use.  It was crammed full with shelving, bins and whatnot, but there was still no room to spread out train tracks or dump Legos or dress Barbies.  The toys would spread to all areas of the main floor.  I was tripping over toys constantly... kicking them out of the way as I tried to get from the stove to the refrigerator, sweeping aside a pile just to open the front door.... I was sick, sick, sick of toys.  Every time ANYBODY would come over I was embarrassed about the mess.  I would lie awake at night and worry that we would have a housefire and some poor firefighter would not be able to rescue us because he couldn't escape the playroom.  I confess I have broken quite a few when I would get into cleaning fit and throw them full force towards the playroom area.  Not a good situation.

So when Dean mentioned that we should use the week (his vacation last week) to clear out the basement and move the playroom down there, I was all for it.  We took down all of the Christmas stuff so that it would be out of the way.  We spent an entire day clearing out 2/3 of the large basement area room (about half of the basement, so.... 400 sq feet??) and moved every single last toy to the basement.

It.  was.  glorious.

Here are the before and afters...

Playroom before

Playroom before

Basement before

Basement before

We cleared out some junk and built a wall (November)

And now... ta-da!!

(cue the choir of angels....)

We haven't put up wallboard on the wall that Dean built yet, but fabric panels work just as well.  I had these left over from my classroom.  So glad I finally found a use for all that fabric.  Need some more staples though...

We bolted the TV to the wall because that sucker weighs a ton.  Owen got that car mat on the floor for Christmas - I'm glad that it can be left out and be used at all times.  The cat has been on the prowl for all things creepy-crawly.  Good cat!

The bigger furniture items that we want to keep but have nowhere to put (for now) were shoved into the back corner.  My china hutch is back there (again, no where to put) and all of our file boxes that we have yet to sort.  Dean put up safety fencing to keep little buggers out.

It's nice that there is room all around the train table for kids to move, and Jordan has his own table for building Legos.

Rylan's dollhouse had been residing in our bedroom since her birthday last May.  Now I don't have to step around it every morning when I roll out of bed.  Hallelujah!  She even has room to park her new motor home.  Jordan added a monster in the attic as a special touch.

With that done, we had an empty room in the house (the former playroom) to FILL with stuff.  So we did.  We filled it with our office furniture.  Funny story - and I can't remember if I mentioned it before, so forgive me if I am repeating myself.  But when Dean and I met, we thought it was hilarious that we both had the same office furniture.  He had a file cabinet, the computer cabinet and another cabinet that a desk attached to.  I had a file cabinet and the stand-alone desk.  We bought the four hutch shelving units just a couple of years ago to handle the ever-increasing about of school stuff.  So here is our *new* school room...

I'm not finished reloading the bookshelves quite yet.  I have some sorting I would like to do first.

This one is all about the cat.

Just bought a nice wall calendar...Year-at-a-Glance.  I have to squint to read the dates when I am sitting at the computer - but it is so handy when I am working out school/scout/vacation schedules.

I can FINALLY put up my dry-erase board - complete w/ All About Spelling tiles.  This little guy has been living under the couch for the past year, to keep Colin from jamming the tiles into the paper shredder.

Our hallway.  A five-way junction of absolute chaos.  Office?  Garage?  Kitchen?  Bathroom?  Tiny useless coat closet?  Take your pick.  We had an 8-cube shelving unit in here (it was under the key rack) that held all of our shoes/mail/purses, and then two more bin units with 3 drawers each that held all mittens/hats/scarves/snow boots, ect...  Then, behind that were two coat racks - one high and one low...FULLY loaded.  You could not get through this hallway to save your life - and bringing in groceries was an absolute nightmare.  And if you REALLY had to go to the bathroom - forget it!  We removed the lower coat rack and all of the bin units.  Just look at all of this S - P - A - C - E.   I can breathe!!!

We moved the 8 - cube shelving unit here - and put it longways instead.  Each kiddo has a shoe bin, and then a place above it to put their mittens/hats/scarves...  We moved the lower coat rack to here, and then weeded out the coat selection to just a lightweight jacket, a fleece and a heavy winter coat.

And now... for the living room.  We moved the office out, and the little couch in.  Now everybody has a place to sit.  But most importantly... S - P - A - C - E .  And you can play the Wii without bashing your little brother on the head.

Before... (NYE 2010)

After.  Now even the lazy dog can stretch out!

I just can't get over how nice it is to not be tripping over toys.  That I can vacuum at my leisure, without moving cars, trucks, Barbies or plastic fruits and vegetables out of my way.  I can walk to the bathroom, unimpeded.  We can focus on schoolwork without the distraction of the toys or kids overflowing from the playroom.  We can work on the computer w/o the distraction of the TV.  The coats and shoes don't get all jumbled up with the toys - along with gross and disgusting curdled-milk filled sippy cups.

I will confess that there is one thing I will miss.  We took the two trikes to the basement.  I miss the kids making hot laps around the house.  I may move them back up here because it was fun to watch them race around.  Although not so fun to take a hit in the ankle when you are trying to dump super-hot pasta into the colander at the sink.

The environment has changed, so we intend for habits to as well.  Putting things away.  Focusing on schoolwork.  More space should equal less squabbling.  The best thing is that this whole transformation cost less than $50.  We had to purchase a space heater for the playroom because it is super-cold down there.  That is not without a ton of anxiety on my part, but it was absolutely necessary.  It has a lot of safety features on it, and we are being very vigilant about turning it off when playtime is done.  I also move the baby monitor to the basement during the daytime, so that I can keep tabs on who is doing what.... to whom.   :)



Intentions...



"Do...or do not.  There is no try."

             -Yoda

 

Resolutions invoke pressure within me.... not the promise that things will get better.  But Yoda is right - it will either happen or not, and it begins with you.  You will either follow through.... or you won't.

 

You can't make positive change if you don't know where you are coming from - so a time of quiet reflection must come first.  This year has been a difficult, yet richly rewarding period of growth.  I began with intense baby blues.  Colin turned One in early February, and - just as it happened with the other babies, they hit the one year mark and I felt sad and longed for another baby to be on the way.  It was made even worse because I knew it was no longer possible.  I think the finality hit me rather hard and I felt a little lost as to how to proceed.  It worsened throughout the spring.  Colin had hit the age that I dislike the most.  I know a lot of parents rejoice at seeing their older babies learning and doing in leaps and bounds... but for me it just takes them further and further away from that precious babyhood that I loved so much.  He was also mobile and into everything.  It is a dangerous and nerve-wracking time for me - I just felt like I was running from one fire to the next.  It was no longer fun to go anywhere because all I could do was either chase Colin or Owen around.  Isolation doesn't help when you are already feeling down.

I went into therapy at about that time - and I thought it would help if I talked through all that was bothering me.  I also began to write (blog) again, in earnest.  Guess which avenue was most therapeutic for me?  The one that doesn't require me to leave the house.  I suppose feed-back helps, but I think that writing it all out helps me sort out my feelings and figure out how to proceed, much better than someone who doesn't really know me trying to tell me what to do.

As the year has progressed, things have changed quite a bit.  Colin has managed to get through those tough months unscathed, and now it is just a matter of keeping the heavy furniture bolted to the wall, and all sharp implements locked up.  No problem.... (ahem).  We can go to the park and I know that the kiddos can roam freely and climb to their hearts content - and Colin can safely keep up.  We ditched the diapers for Owen.  We've ditched the bottle and the binky for Colin.  Colin's potty training will begin in a month or two.  Life has gotten much easier for me in a very short span of time - and I am rejoicing in my new-found freedom.  This helps to permanently kick the baby blues to the curb - I can't even fathom the upheaval a newborn would bring to the family dynamic now.   But this doesn't mean that my heart won't ache every time I see a newborn - I seriously need to just turn around and walk away because I am certain I make the parents uncomfortable with the way I just stare at their baby as I imagine how it would feel to hold that little sweet bundle.  (damn... now I am starting to cry)  You think you are cured and your issues just smack you in the face!  I am done with that stage of my life - I love my sleep too much - and I want to care for myself now. I have neglected my needs for five long years now... and my priorities need to change.  It is my intention to improve my quality of life - I have four busy children to keep up with!

It's been a year of growth for Jordan.  He eleven and testing the waters.  Not in a disrespectful way (for the most part), but he is asserting his independence in small ways.  He watches over all the kids for short bits of time and earns some spending money doing so.  It's nice to be able to run to the store for some milk and know I don't have to drag everyone with me.  Jordan makes good decisions most of the time.  He is kind, he helps his younger siblings out and he doesn't talk back.  He will argue, but most of the time he has a point.  He has even taken on a pivotal role in the potty training - he will often dump out the potty and give it a rinse.  Now, that is saying something.  Jordan has had a hard year.  An important friendship came to an abrupt end, and he is struggling to find his way.  So one intention for this coming year is help him do that.  And give a good deal of coaching on how to be a good friend.

Homeschooling is and always will be a constant challenge for us.  Not because it is hard, but because we have such a span of ages and abilities.  I will do my best to use it as a strength.  It is my intention to make nature studies, science and art the subjects of intense focus this year.  Writing will really go in hand with that.  I am taking a step back from all things political with our homeschooling group this year.  I'm tired of it.  I will keep up my friendships and support my children in their quest for quality friend time, but it won't go much beyond that.  I've fretted and stewed over many issues over this past year, and it just wasn't worth it.

We have a low-key year ahead - our main focus is continuing our path to financial freedom.  We blew our Christmas budget to smithereens... but the good news is we did not use the credit cards.  We haven't touched them since August.  The bad news is is that our Emergency Fund became the Christmas fund.  There are no vacations in the works, save the occasional Boy Scout outing and summer camp, family hiking and camping trips and a trip to OKC at some point.  The only BIG events this year are Owen's first OFFICIAL birthday on Leap Day (wahoo!), and my dad's 70th birthday in September.  It is on my list of 40 Things to hike a fourteener some time this year.  If I keep with my intention to take care of myself, that very well may be a possibility.

Now all I have to do is reconcile that intention does not equal 'try'.  It is a deliberate decision to go ahead with something... I just can't let life derail my good intentions.  So I am putting it out there to the Universe - I intend to continue to grow, heal, learn and love this year.

 

Happy New Year!