As per custom over the years, when Jordan arrives home from a stay with his mom in OK, he will eventually share some annoying and typically hurtful comment that his mom made in his presence - usually directed at either 'us' or 'me'. This time it was about our switching to Calvert this coming school year. We have enrolled in Colorado Calvert Academy, an online, virtual public school. Calvert, for me, is all about the curriculum. I have studied all of the grade levels (K-8) with a teacher's eye, lining up the scope and sequence with Colorado State Standards, and it makes me wish August were here already so we could start - that is how excited I am about it! Calvert is not shy about letting parents know what the expectations are in the role they must play in this. I am to expect that Jordan will have 5-6 hours of work per school day to slog through (count that as 7-8 for the distracted ADHD child), and I will need to be at his elbow for a significant part of it. And not just Jordan, either. There will also be Rylan and Owen to attend to. Aaaaand to keep Colin from destroying the house in the process. This also does not count the extras I fit in, like Nature Study, Lego League, chess club, swimming.... In Jordan's mom's eyes, this switch is because I have become lazy about homeschooling Jordan, and I want someone else to do it for me so I can spend more time with the other kids. So I guess all of the children are getting the 'lazy treatment', because I don't show favoritism. I. do. not. show. favoritism. If you were a fly on the wall in our home, you would in fact think quite the opposite. My time and attention is predominantly spent with Jordan, because he is the oldest. When you spent your entire day, day after day, surrounded by little kids, you crave any type of adult conversation you can find. Poor Jordan has been my guinea pig. As soon as he could sustain a conversation, we were talking. We talk about everything under the sun - history, science, math, literature, religion, technology, child rearing, gardening.... and I think he enjoys it as much as I do, because he will recall many a conversation with me (several of which were prompted by the Core Knowledge reading for the day) and relate back to it in some way.
His mother's comments are serious button pushers for me. I understand where they are coming from - she is no longer the principal parent, she feels threatened, she probably has a lot of anger and resentment, and I seem like the easy target. That doesn't mean that these comments don't bother me. They bother me a great deal. The comments hurt my feelings and question my integrity. Parenting a child should be a partnership, not a game of one-up-manship. A child is a human being with feelings - not a piece of property.
Hail
We had a wicked hail storm late Tuesday night. It went on for a very long time, and the average size was somewhere between a quarter and a golf ball. Dean and I traveled from window to window, getting more and more excited as the hailstones grew in size. This was the big one we have been hoping for! The next morning revealed that the roof had taken its last stand (yay!), the window screens were shredded (yay!), the shutters on the front windows were cracked and even broken in places (meh), there are pits and dents in the garage door and trim (yay!), there are dents in the hood of the minivan (meh), the passenger side mirror is cracked (meh), and there are pits all over the fence. We are still waiting for adjusters to look at house and car (State Farm - I am NOT impressed...), but we did have a roofer come out on Wednesday to have a look and I am pretty excited about the findings... ;) Can't say much more than that at this point, but the house will be getting a makeover very, very soon.
Surgery
Yesterday I met with the surgeon I had picked out to do my knee surgery. He has done the knees and shoulders of three of my relatives and several of Dean's coworkers, and they all sang very high praises. He concurred that surgery needs to be done if I want to return to my favorite physical activities. I guess there are people out there who elect not to do this because they don't want to go through the rehab. An ACL replacement is not for the faint of heart. In fact, it makes me sweat with fear thinking about it. It is tough-going in the rehab department. Like - really tough. I am 42, and my age is affecting my prognosis. I have elected to go with an autograft of my patellar tendon to replace the ACL. This is the more difficult one to rehab - it will take longer and will be more painful. It may mean that I can't ever quite get down on my knees again. (thank goodness I don't have babies anymore, and don't expect my floors to look clean ever again). I am choosing an autograft over an allograft (donation from a cadaver) because the thought of tissue rejection and infection scares me. Plus, and I know this is weird, but the thought of someone elses' tissue in my body gives me the heebie-jeebies. I know I would feel quite differently if the case were that I needed a new liver or something and couldn't live without a transplant, but in this case I just feel weird about it. BUT - the fact that I am 42 means that being my own donor brings about other concerns. My tendons are older, may not be as robust (too bad tendons aren't fatty tissue! No problem there...), and may not give the best results. I've studied the outcomes and the percentages are not in my favor. This is where I get scared. What if I go through all of this and find out that my knee will still never be stable enough for skiing, hiking or running? This instantly brings tears to my eyes. I would be crushed. Damn...
The surgery has tentatively been scheduled for July 31st. I am to work very hard on my PT for the next three weeks to see if I can really improve my range of motion and strength. He'll reassess at that time and decide whether or not that surgery date will work. If I am not where I should be recovery-wise, the surgery will have to be pushed back. Talk about pressure! If the surgery gets pushed back, life will get seriously difficult - beyond difficult - if I can't drive by September. I already have the mindset that we are taking off the month of August from absolutely everything, so that rehab is the only focus. Then after August, I have 2-3 months of PT, twice to three times a week to look forward too. Damn. Damn. Damn. It will be difficult enough to launch a whole new curriculum and homeschooling rhythm, without throwing constant therapy appointments into the mix. AAAGGHHH! I hate stress. :(
Flowers
As frustrating as this week was - although the hail was actually a good thing in our eyes - it was an act of kindness that helped sooth out the worries. After I had arrived home with my appointment with the surgeon, the kids and I grabbed our rakes and cleaned up the mess left behind from the storm. I had left it as-is in the hopes that an insurance adjuster would be along shortly to look at all the damage, but by Friday morning it was looking trashy, so I decided it was time to clean up. As we were doing so, a van from a local greenhouse pulled up in front of our house. At first I thought they were asking for directions. Then I thought that maybe they were jumping out to help (lol...). Nope - a guy and a girl hopped out and announced that they had been instructed to drive around and give away hanging flower baskets to any takers they could find, since the greenhouse had too many. I was dumbfounded and so, so touched. I think this was the owner's way of reaching out to those who had storm damage and give a little bit of happiness. I called the company right away to express my heartfelt thanks. I've got to remember in these tough and scary weeks ahead that I need to look for the good, and be thankful for what I do have.
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