Ode to my uterus...

You safely carried my babies three

Until my body set them free

Like clockwork came the monthly flood

Otherwise known as the period

I pushed you too hard in delivery

of my final sweet baby

You began to descend

and now the surgeon must mend

Out you will go

So long, Aunt Flo!

So, I didn't exactly think during my consultation with a gynecological surgeon last week that I would be adding 'Hysterectomy' to my agenda next month.  I did not go in thinking about my uterus at all, actually.  I was consulting him about an entirely different problem, and botta-boom-botta-bing next thing you know he's talking major surgery.  

Five years ago, when I delivered Colin, I pushed way too hard.  The midwife handling the delivery was new to me, because my usual one was handling an emergency delivery elsewhere.  This midwife did not coach me one bit.  I just pushed and pushed and pushed because it hurt so much and I just wanted him out.  All of that pushing put extreme pressure on various parts 'down there' and things haven't been the same since.  In technical terms, the issue for the past five years has been a rectocele. (look it up)  Not a pleasant thing to live with.  Every annual exam, my regular midwife - who I have seen for the past ten years, has asked me if I wanted to get it looked at by a surgeon.  I always said no in the past, because it sounded like a horrific surgery to me (as my imagination ran wild...)  Finally, this year, I gave in.  I am concerned that the longer it goes on, it may invite other medical issues to crop up.  

So I met with the surgeon this past week, and after the exam, he said that the rectocele was indeed quite significant.  In addition to that, my uterus was showing signs of minor prolapse, as well as the bladder.  If he were to do only the surgery to correct the rectocele, it would just put additional pressure on the uterus, making a full collapse inevitable in the years to come.  The hysterectomy was 'optional', but heavily recommended.  I think I thought about it for about a half-second before I said oh hell yes.

I have been living with the threat of cervical cancer hanging over my head for the last 20 years or so.  It began with an abnormal pap that revealed pre-cancerous cells on my cervix, due to HPV.  So I had a LLETZ loop cone biopsy done (look it up).  Ten years after that I had to have another one, just after the delivery of Rylan, plus a DNC to remove leftover placental material.  To remove this threat would be a huge relief for me.  Also, after 345 periods (give or take) I think I have had my fill, and am ready to be done with that whole business.

So next month it is, and if my calculations are correct, it will be right at the end of a period.

Joy.