Selling your soul, one box of girl scout cookies at a time...

You know how I 'quit' the other day?


I've got a couple of other things I want to quit...


Pardon me while I get the formalities out of the way...


Dear Girl Scouts,


I am formally handing in my resignation.  I will no longer sell your cookies.  I also will no longer sell your boxes of chocolates, containers of nuts or magazine subscriptions.  I will no longer spend my precious time, wracking up the hours while I constantly update my spreadsheets, chase down customers, chase down parents, chase down $$ to balance our accounts, chase down wayward boxes of cookies, acquire more boxes one week, only to return them the next, constantly bug my friends and family as I push cookies on them, and endure long hours in the cold and the wind.  This is not fun.  My daughter is not gaining anything by engaging in selling for you, other than a very crabby, stressed-out mother.  I quit.  I quit.  I quit.  Effective immediately.  (Well, just as soon as I deposit everyone's money, make sure we balance out, make sure the girls get the awards they earned and so on and so forth...)


Thank you.


Dear Boy Scouts,


I despise selling popcorn for you.  My thirteen year old son does a fabulous job at it, but only after I remind him 29 times that the sun will only shine for so long, and that the entire neighborhood has probably already been picked over, in the time it took him to get out of the house.   I also have to drive all over town and back, making his deliveries and hitting new neighborhoods.  He writes down the address in illegible handwriting, so we can't deliver after all, because he can't remember where the house was.  He loses his forms, can't keep track of the money, and leaves the chocolate popcorn sitting in the car to melt.  I hate popcorn.  I. will. not. go through another season of popcorn.  I don't care if this is his main source of money to pay for your ridiculously over-priced high adventure trips.


I also hate the spaghetti dinner silent auction.  No business will donate anything as a potential auction item.  I have, for the last time, given up my last season of afternoons making endless trips around to the various potential small-business targets, only to get turned away again and again.  Stupid.  Senseless.  A. waste. of. my. time.  All for a child who has no inclination to get the ball rolling on his own.  How on earth did it become MY job to do this to raise money for the BSA?  I swear I did not wish for this... and yet it is my sad, sad reality.  I quit.  Effective immediately.


Thank you.


Dear boys and girls youth organizations of America,


Your 'business model' stinks.  You do a damn fine job of passing this off as an opportunity for kids to become 'entrepreneurs' (whatever...) but you are selling the kids a lie.  The kids don't spend the hours doing the paperwork, making the phone calls, writing the emails, paying for the gas for the endless car trips... the poor parents do.  Parents that simply do not have the time to begin with.  Our time is so precious with our kids, and instead of our kids learning worthwhile lessons within in the confines of your organization, you send them out on the streets to peddle your products.  You are capable of so much better.


Thank you.



Do I sound a bit...frazzled?  Why yes.  Yes I do.  When I sat down to think about how many hours I have spent in the name of scouts - Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts combined: the cookies, chocolates, popcorn, paperwork/form signing, meeting planning, meeting attending, patch-procuring, gear-replacing, errand running... all in the name of scouts...it is more hours than I have spent homeschooling my kids this year.  Yes.  You read that right.  More than I spent schooling.  I'm a total sucker for every volunteer job that has ever come along, because it is always my first inclination to step in and offer help, yet I never think that it will be as hard, or as time-consuming as it truly is.  No wonder nobody ever steps up to take their turn or lend a hand.


So, I am reclaiming a bit of my soul.  I don't know what our future in girl scouts will be, but as far as this co-leader, treasurer and cookie mom goes, I'm out.  Out, folks.  I had high hopes for this experience.  It is not our troop parents, the girls or anything like that... it is the lack of organization at the council, state and national level, the poor choice of programming available for the girls and so on and so forth.  I would rather just get together with our 'scouts' and ditch the programming, patches, cookies...everything.  Get the girls together and do service projects and get outdoors, all in the name of fun.  For free.  Without the expensive vest, annual registration, books, patch kits, and God-forsaken cookie booths.  Just please don't ask me to coordinate this.


I am feeling so....so.... liberated!?