Friday, April 13, 2012

War paint

Last night was book club.  I have personally referred to it as 'Mommy Book Club' ever since we got together through the now-defunct NoCoMoms website nearly five years ago, but I think it is officially known as 'My Drinking Club has a Book Problem'.  We even have a Facebook page.  Johi named it (that is her in the front, on the right) and I know I've mentioned it a few times, but she has one of the most hilarious, snarky mommy blogs out there - check her out sometime... 

Anyways..I took this photo (well, the waitress did) for two reasons.  First, I wanted a photo of us (sadly, we are missing one member who couldn't make it) because these ladies are a big part of my life, and I want to remember what we looked like while we were all still pretty.  :)   (snort)  The second reason is that my husband gave me a hard time (jokingly) as I was going out the door because I was heading out for a 'secret date' or something.  (snort even louder).  So I needed proof that I was, indeed, with a bunch of women discussing how bad PMS has been lately, how annoying it is when kids climb into your bed early in the morning, how annoying it is when husbands are up late at night playing video games (luckily not my problem!), and - oh, yeah.. the book.  We had a great discussion about the book (see last post) - it was one of our longest book discussions!  Usually they last an epic 6-8 minutes.

Since I had the time in the early evening to wash off the grime of the day and fix my hair and make up, I thought I would put some effort into it.  Date nights are the only other time I do that, but since they only seem to happen about twice a year, I've got to come up with another reason.  I don't usually wear make up anymore because let's face it, there is no reason to put on mascara when the only thing you are going to do that day is sort socks, change diapers, cook mac n' cheese and struggle through a math lesson with your 11 year old.  I'll end up rubbing my eyes in frustration anyway.

As I was getting ready, I actually had the bathroom to myself for a short while and was enjoying some music (U2) while I was drying and curling my hair.  I thought back to the time when doing my hair and makeup was a daily/nightly ritual.  I either worked or had classes during the day, and 5 nights a week I had my waitressing job.  That meant two showers a day, the blow drying, the curling, the dressing (panythose -- uugh) the makeup and so on and so on - twice a day.  For 12 solid years that was my life.  And then I got married and had three kids.  Rather abruptly I stored all of it away in bins and rarely ever took it out.  There was no time, and no point.  It used to be unthinkable to ever leave the house without a stitch of makeup on.  I would be mortified... What if I ran into someone at the store??  Now, I do it without a second thought.  And so does the majority of women in my life.  I do not like to stereotype homeschoolers - but most of the moms that show up at Park Day do so without makeup.  And they are beautiful.  :)

My dad would refer to my makeup as 'war paint'.  As a teenager I would agonize on whether or not I had the 'right' shade of eyeshadow.  My Seventeen magazines (is that even around anymore?) were propped up so that I could do my best to copy whatever look I was going for at the time...  Of course now I lament about how pointless it was to base so much of my self-concept on how I looked.  As a mother of a daughter, it is my single wish that she handle that much better than I did.

As of now, we are off to a rocky start.  She will smear all sorts of glittery goo from her princess makeup kit on her cheeks, lips, eyes... anywhere.  And then she will make the comment, "Oh, don't I look beautiful?  I am sooo pretty!".  Ouch.  It is a delicate balance - I don't want to crush her self-confidence, but I also don't want her to be so prideful.  And the last thing I want her to think is that you need makeup to be pretty.  Yet, I must look like a hypocrite standing there in front of the mirror carefully applying my eyeliner in the effort to .... what?  Look pretty?

yep.  life is full of contradictions.

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