The parent as the teacher

See how they're both smiling?  They haven't started the lesson yet.  Just wait...

Every homeschooling situation is different.  Every family is different.  And most certainly, every child is different.  In our household, we have lots of different temperaments, levels of maturity and prior experience happening simultaneously.

Jordan:  He is eleven and is on daily meds for ADHD.  He attended public school for K and 1st grade.  He never once questioned the parent/teacher relationship once we started school at home.  He accepted the switch from public to homeschooling without even blinking, and is actually a model student.  It only took me five years to realize that. (once I started working with Rylan).  He hardly ever balks at an assignment - unless it involves any kind of writing.  He even ASKS if he can start his work as soon as possible - but I know this is because the only thing standing between him and playing Minecraft on the computer with his homeschool friends is schoolwork.  Still.  He ASKS to do schoolwork.  ??  When I am done with being dumbfounded by this I'll let you know.  It could be awhile.

Rylan: She is five and easily distractable and exuberant.  Not in a bad way, but it does get in the way of lessons at times.  Rylan loves to read - only she loves to read what SHE wants to read.  Not about whales.  Not about Canadians.  Not about a vegetable garden.  Not about the stars in the sky.  She can count and add things that are all around us, yet when I line up counters on the desktop she shuts down and asks for some candy.  Dramatic sighs.  Eye rolls.  Lots of eye-rubbing and blinking.  The dropping of the pencil...  In her way of thinking, I am *just* mom... I'm not supposed to be teaching her stuff!

Owen: Is four and the most stubborn child on Earth.  Last week we at least accomplished the small feat of using scissors for the first time.  I'm not kidding.  He loves the alphabet and counting, but God help you if you dare put a crayon in his hand and ask him to draw a line across a page.

Some days I just feel like I am not cut out for this and begin to question my sanity.  I have a small freakout that I am ruining my kids' lives by thinking that I can actually do this.  And then it gets better.  We (homeschoolers) all have the occasional blip where we begin to second-guess ourselves.  Seriously... admit it - How many times have you threatened your kids with "Public School" in the past year?  The past month?  With Jordan this threat works great.  You can even see the fear in his eyes.  But with Rylan I would never dare say it to her.  She would respond with "Can I start tomorrow?  Can I get a purple lunchbox and a new backpack?"

We have monthly meetings for our homeschooling group, and I swear it is the dialogue with other moms that keeps me going.  It is so affirming to hear that I am not alone.  My kids aren't nincompoops.  They are just normal kids who would rather play than do schoolwork.  I'm not the only one who has a nonspeller and a nonwriter.  I'm not the only one who has multiple learning styles to contend with.  One thing I can say is that we know our kids.  It is awesome to hear moms run through all of the different strengths and weaknesses of their kids when it comes to learning and being so dedicated to finding something that works.  It may take months to sort out where the problems lies, but by golly we're going to find it!  (Did I just say 'by golly'?)  I think that the general public doesn't realize how much time and research homeschooling parents put in to figuring their kids out.  We study learning styles, modalities, behavioral psychology and a small host of other topics, just so we can give our kids the best of what we can.

I don't quite have a handle on what to do about Rylan.  She is only five.  But a pattern is emerging, and I need to steer her in another direction.  I am 'mom', but it is our job together to see that she knows all of the cursory knowledge that she needs to know to be a well-educated citizen of the world.  It is not my job to make her a specialist at anything - when she is 18, (hopefully more like 20 - I don't want her going to college right away) that is her job.  She decides what direction her life will take from that point on.