I told my husband no roses, no card, no big candy heart this year.... I wanted to do something different. He verified the details at least three different times, just to make sure that I hadn't changed my mind and would be disappointed if none of the above appeared today. My husband has had a stellar record so far when it comes to Valentine's Day. Beautiful bouquets of long-stem roses, candy, beautiful cards... a favorite CD. I am a very, very lucky girl.
Ever since we became a family and grew by leaps and bounds, the holiday has changed quite a bit - it became more about the kids to me than just romantic love. So this year, I came up with a different way to go about it.
1. Do away with the expense. Let's face it, after going through FPU, there is no way I could feel it was justified to spend as much as we used to on the cards, candy, flowers, dining out and so forth.
2. Do away with the stress. No more party planning for me. It used to be that I would stress out that the kids would be missing out on the party aspect of it. My own memories of the classroom Valentine Party thing - with mailboxes for little cards, games and too much red food coloring were clouding my own sense of reason: the kids won't miss it because that is not their norm. It was mine.
3. Do keep it simple. Stay home and fix a nice dinner - a meal that is easy to prepare and a family favorite. Throw in a fancy dessert that is a no-brainer. Chocolate-dipped strawberries anyone? Also, nine yards of pink tulle can do wonders for creating ambiance. Not bad for $8.37.
4. Do keep it meaningful. Dean and I wrote out five little Valentines to each child and to each other. (So if you've lost count, that's 25 we had to do) Using a simple cut-out heart, we wrote down a nice thought or appreciation about that person. We taped a candy to each one. Then I had each child write out 3 Valentines, in the same fashion, to each sibling and parent. Then we put them all in a bowl. During dinner, we each selected three from the bowl, read them aloud and thanked the person who wrote it.
It. was. awesome.
Everyone liked to hear something nice - especially when it is coming from a brother or a sister. We have many, many more to read through - I think we will just continue with reading three each night - it will be something to continue to look forward to all week.
I was so grateful for this opportunity to acknowledge how truly wonderful my husband and kids are - and tell them so. And it is a practice that we can continue - long after the shiny paper hearts get peeled away from the cupboards. Maybe every few days we could spend a few minutes, as we share a meal, to go around the table and share an appreciation or two about all of the other family members that are there.
It feels just as good (if not better) to say it as it is to hear it.
So, if you're reading this..
Mom, I love how you come over every Wednesday morning, regardless if the kids have practiced, to give them a piano lesson. And that you have a Werther's to give to them as soon as you walk through the door - because you know that makes them feel special and that they look forward to that. And that you think it is just as funny as I do that Colin runs around with Owen's underwear on his head.
Michelle - I appreciate how you take the time to put so much thought, time and attention to detail as you pull together each and every birthday present. I LOVE the album you created for me on my birthday.
Kirk - I love that you have just the right kind of advice to give when it comes to me wearing my emotions on my sleeve. You always help me put it into perspective.
Dad - I love how you keep me well-stocked with tomatoes every summer, and canned peaches every winter. Your gardening advice means the world to me.
P & V - I love how you line up projects to do with the kids each and every time we (or you) visit. It makes the visit all the more special - and the kids remember it and talk about it long afterwards.
Love you all!!
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