Warning

As I am sure is true about a lot of cities, there are certain times of the day where it is virtually impossible to get from point A to point B in a given amount of time.  The witching hour for our neck of the woods is 4:00 pm on a weekday.  Everybody and their dog, laptop, soccer ball, or ballet shoes has someplace they need to be.

I've been spending an extraordinary amount of time in the car during the past month.  My schedule is so full I want to cry.  It's partly my doing, as I wanted to cram trips into the most compact schedule possible, piggy-backing every class I could so that I could build up the largest chunk of at-home school-time hours I could, but ultimately I am at the mercy of the class schedule in the first place as I have to work with what I get.  If it were up to me, I would not be on the road during the witching hour.

Tuesday is the tightest commute day, and Wednesday is so full I'm wearing a stopwatch and barking out new move-out orders every half hour, it seems.  On Tuesdays, I have exactly 30 minutes to transport Rylan from her Lego Robotics team practice at point A to her tumbling class at point B.  In between these points is several miles of green space as they are in different cities. This requires that I get her out of the door on time at point A (hasn't happened yet, as Lego is fun), and that I drive with laser-sharp focus to navigate the minivan-choked roads to get to point B.  I've tried three different routes, and the interstate "seems" the quickest, provided there is no massive miles-long traffic jam, slowing down to check out the vehicle pulled over on the shoulder TO CHANGE A TIRE. *WOW*

This past Tuesday I was paid a personal visit by a state trooper on the side of a very busy three lane highway during the commute from point A to point B.  I had just pulled off the interstate, gone through a couple of intersections, and was just pulling through another one - after stopping for a red light - when lights fired up behind me.  I wasn't even aware I had a trooper behind me, as I was deep in conversation with Jordan about what spatial organization in paragraph writing means.  (This is where I can say with pride that, yes, my 14 year old and I were engrossed in how a writer can lay out a description of their topic in a spatial way.  This is new territory for us since I have mainly focused on expository writing with him over the years, and to me, I never really thought about using spatial organization when, for example, writing a five paragraph essay about 'Why I enjoy camping'.  Seriously?)

Anyway, lights are flashing in the back window.  I look at Jordan and stupidly ask him, "Me"?  Is he wanting ME?  What did I do?  I couldn't have been speeding, we were just at a stop light!"  I notice the other cars around me, which are all traveling faster than me, so no, I certainly was not speeding.  What the hell?  I start talking out loud to myself, because that is what I do when I am a little freaked out.

"ME?  Why me?  What did I do wrong?  Shit... stupid car get out of my way so I can pull over!  Here?  Should I pull over here?  Is he still behind me?  Did I just say the s-word out loud?" (winning!)

I pull over, put the window down and turn off the car.  And then I turn to look at Jordan and point to the paragraph about spatial organization in his language arts textbook and continue what we were talking about.  Like I said, we were engrossed.  Maybe that was the reason I had committed some horrible traffic violation and wasn't even aware of it.

Finally he approaches the car.  He was the spitting image of this guy:

We are big Jimmy Fallon fans, and so I couldn't help but crack a smile.  He cocks his head to the side and looks into the back of the van to survey things.  "Are they twins?", he asks as he's looking at Owen and Colin in the back seat.  My smile froze.  fuuuuuuuuuck......

(Colin is a chronic unbuckler or even non-buckler.  Half the time when we drive across town, as we unload Colin just casually slips out from his car seat.  I know that he cannot unbuckle the ridiculously notorious red button on the center buckle, so there is no way for him to exit his seat unless he didn't buckle in the first place, the twerp...  I constantly forget to make a point of double-checking before we start driving.  (winning!  again!)  So as the trooper is examining my children, I am afraid to look around and see for myself if Colin is buckled or not)

I try a diversion tactic instead.  "Would you believe they are two years apart?  So, should I pull off over there, instead?"  pointing ahead to where the shoulder is a lot wider, because right now I am in a pretty narrow spot thanks to the stupid car that wouldn't get out of the way.  He tells me no, and asks if I knew that my left rear brake light was out.  "No, really??? I had no idea". (total lie)  "Can I see your license, insurance and registration?"

Dammit.  Now we are going to really be late for tumbling.  I have yet to make it on time for this stupid class.  I hate our schedule....

I comply, after sweating for a few seconds worrying about if I had remembered to switch out the insurance card for the new one.  I continue talking with Jordan, the kids seemed nonplussed that we've been pulled over, (??), and then he comes back, gives me my cards back and a warning ticket about the brake light.  "You get that light fixed as soon as you can, okay?  Drive safe!"  How can I stay safe?  We are all maniacal lunatics just trying to get from point A to point B, on time or as close to it as possible.

I shove Rylan out the van door when we get to point B, and then after class I go in and explain to her teacher that Rylan will be late by 10 minutes every week until the end of November when her Lego team finishes with competition.  She nods in understanding and admits she was late for class too.  "Traffic...it is just impossible to get anywhere on time at this time of day!"

Tell me about it.

The New School Room

The school room is finally finished and ready for sharing!

After negotiating with Dean for some more space, we decided to clear the front room to make a dedicated room for homeschool. (Surprisingly, even after 7 years of homeschooling, we never had a dedicated space to work in. We would either cram around a desk in the office, or the kitchen table, or spread out in the living room... it was never ideal.) Our supplies and books were never all together in the same place. The piano got moved to the living room (sorta sad about that because now that room looks and feels cramped), and Dean and Jordan's maker space was taken down and may be set up again in the basement. It was a problem anyway because the little boys would not leave the tools alone. With the room clear, in the two weeks before my knee surgery I painted the walls like a mad woman, completed an art project, we made a trip to Ikea and we hung up new window treatments. I am so excited with the results!! I have dreamed of this room for years...

Here is the before. This was a golden yellow paint. I loved this color... In the mornings, when the sunrise would light up this side of the house, it would just glow - not in an irritating way..more like a soft glow, like warm baked bread. I remember picking out this paint. I was newly single, and picking out some chairs at LazyBoy. This yellow was used in the showroom in a little family room setting, and I just knew I had to have it. I got the paint (Benjamin Moore), and painted some rooms this color, and chose a softer yellow for other walls. Over the years, it got a bit dingy. Well, a lot dingy. I had also unfortunately used a flat paint, so I couldn't scrub pencil, marker, greasy hand prints or anything else off of it. By painting day, I was overjoyed to see it go. I was also excited that the very ugly brass light fixture that illuminated *nothing* was on its way out the door as well.

Here is the after...

I have True Confessions of a Homeschooler to thank for the inspiration for the desk. Had our bank account been able to take the full hit, we would have done the four separate drawer units as well, but....in using it for the past few weeks as it is right now, I like the airiness of it just being the table, alone. We made the trip to Ikea in late July, making a day of it. We purchased the following items:

2 Linnmon table tops, in white, with soft green trim around the edges
8 Adils table legs, in silver
3 Jules Jr chairs, two in white, one in pink ;)
1 Vilgot Swivel chair, in black, for Jordan
1 KNAPPA pendant lamp, 2 spotlights and the Sanda track

I love the black chair as it is super-comfy. I am buying another one for me, in fact, tomorrow, as we will be driving right by Ikea on our way to a school picnic. The one in the pic is Jordan's, the other three are for the little kids. The table tops are terrific. In the past few weeks they have been subjected to pencil, crayon, acrylic paint, ModPodge, Elmer's Glue and cat puke. It all cleaned up beautifully. Mr. Clean's Magic Eraser is your best friend.

We love the new light. I affectionately call it the Giant Cauliflower. It took some considerable dexterity to put it together, but it puts out a ton of soft light on the work surface below. Here is a pic I took at night... The light looks like it is glaringly bright, but that is just the way the picture turned out - but look at how well it illuminates the entire table! The table measures 5' x 5', so it is a pretty big surface.

This is my pride and joy. I first encountered an alphabet wall very similar to this in our pediatrician's office about three years ago.  Ever since I saw it, I wanted to make one for our home, but there was never the appropriate wall space for it. It does take a serious amount of wall space. When this room came to fruition, I thought it would be the perfect place for it. Most of the letters came from Hobby Lobby, the rest from Michael's, and the plate from Target. It took about three solid days of shopping, designing, painting and so forth to finish it. Some letters were as-is, but most of them were embellished in some way. It was hard to get a good shot of the wall from straight-on because of Giant Cauliflower, but here it is. I think my favorite is the letter "B". It is a fancy box from Michael's that is in the shape of a Book, with Butterflies on it. I painted a wooden letter B, in Black, and glued it on. :)

Alphabet Wall Art

This bookcase was built many years ago, and had been banished to the garage a couple years back. I painted it with a fresh coat of white paint, and it lives to see another day! The math manipulatives, which have  lived forever in two large wicker baskets, are now properly sorted and easy to find in their new containers, from the Container Store. LOVE that place, and they were a nice price, too! The shelf next to it holds three stacks of Calvert teaching manuals, one for each kiddo. The other four shelves hold each kid's pile of school stuff.

And that's it! School is in session, and so far, so good. We had a lot of discussion about personal work habits before pulling this room together. Having one giant table won't work for everybody, as some kids need their space. We addressed the needs and concerns for each kiddo.  No, we don't all sit around this table and slog away in our work for hours and hours until it's done. I think over the past week we maybe spent a grand total of 1 hour all sitting at the same space.  During the day the kids come and go as they rotate turns working with me, and it's nice to have such a large table surface to push some work to the side, and pull another pile closer and spread out. Calvert is especially manual-heavy, so I may be managing four different books at one time - plus the kid's stuff!

Many, many thanks to my husband for putting the tables and chairs together and installing the new lights.  The kids helped with the chairs, each getting a turn putting their own chair together.  I feel very, very fortunate to have this space for us to work in. :)

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First Day of School

Today was our first day of school. I dragged my very tired butt out of bed at 6:20 a.m., after having a rough and sleepless night, only to find that both Jordan and Rylan were downstairs, eating breakfast. Rylan had even made her bed. No shit. I continue to totally underestimate my kids.

 

Jordan has seemed nervous, as the day approached, but it was all because he had a totally messed-up conception about what the first day would bring. He though he would be having to attend his online class meetings and so forth. That isn't for a couple weeks yet. The first official day for Calvert is 9/2. We are just starting early because it is new to us, and we need to practice our new routine since we are stubborn people when it comes to change.....or maybe not, since my kids got up BEFORE me today.

 

The first lesson today went very well. I was able to finish Rylan's and Owen's entire lesson. Rylan took the short story that I had assigned to her today to read several times over for fluency practice, and read it to her brothers this evening, while they were taking their bath. She read it with such a great deal of enthusiasm that it made my heart sing. Jordan got through about 2/3rds of his lesson. He can hang in there with the attention span and focus much longer than he used to, but because the kids drift downhill after about 3pm, he can't help but be distracted by all of their craziness. I can't help but be distracted either. Jordan was gone for almost three hours during the day for Lego practice, so that totally impacted his work time. We will have to continue to focus on making the most of our early morning hours (we start at 7:30)on Lego days, before his younger brothers wake up.

 

What made the day extra special was the fact we were in our new school room. I'll post my show-and-tell tomorrow. The kids and I loved the new space, the room, the light.... I am feeling so energized by the change. :)

 

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New Roof, Physical Therapy, Traffic Flow, Birthday and Friendship Blues, Schedule Hell

New Roof

I don't think I mentioned it, but our new roof went on 7/29, two days before my ACL surgery.  I got up early and reparked the cars, we moved the roofing materials that we had stored temporarily in our garage for a few days out onto the driveway, and then a couple van loads of roofers showed up at 7:14 a.m. and got busy.  They were fast, efficient, and stuff was flying off our roof within 15 minutes.  Not a moment was spared.  The kids and I watched chucks of roofing fall from the sky for the next couple hours.  The sound was loud, but not deafening, unless you were in the garage.  In there, chunks of wood were falling from the ceiling.  We left for about three hours for errands and then came back.  Storms moved in around 1 p.m., the rain started to really come down at 2 p.m., and still they carried on with the work.  The entire job was done, the yard was picked clean, and they were on their way at 4:10 p.m.  I have only found two nails in the days since, so they did a really good job with the clean up.  The new roof looks absolutely beautiful.

Physical Therapy

I have made it through my first week of physical therapy on my knee.  I only have anywhere from 7-11 weeks to go.  The difference between my physical therapy this time around and the therapy I had on my shoulder is like night and day.  My shoulder therapist (different clinic) was cool, indifferent, and she did no manual therapy (like massage) on my very stiff and sore joint.  The only thing I did was lift weights in all sorts of different directions.  This time around, in a clinic in the same building as my surgeon, I am with the nicest therapist, ever.  Except that what she makes me do hurts more than you can imagine.  She massages my knee first, loosening my very stiff and swollen knee, and then has me work almost exclusively on contracting my quadricep - over and over, to strengthen my weakened leg.  Twice now it has been done with the help of a vicious torture device called STEM, which delivers an electric current to my muscle, to make it contract.  It hurts so bad it brings tears to my eyes, but I know it has to be done.  The nice thing is that after it is over, I get to relax while a nicer version of STEM massages the muscles and a bag of ice helps with the swelling.  I had the rest of my stitches pulled out last week, and just yesterday I graduated from the walker to a single crutch, which I use opposite of my bum knee.  I struggle with hyperextending my knee backwards (due to weak muscle control), so I have to walk very slowly, concentrating on keeping my knee bent ever-so-slightly as I move.  Now that I can walk with a free hand means that I can now carry a few things, which is like a whole new world.  I hated being so dependent on others to carry absolutely every little thing for me from point A to point B.  Therapy will continue for the next several weeks, twice a week, for an hour each visit, plus the time to drive 70 miles round trip to get there.  The good thing is, Dean can drive over from his office and meet me there and take the kids for the hour while I am in there.  The bad thing is it occurs right in the middle of the day, which isn't conducive to proper homeschooling.  :(

Traffic Flow

I've had a lot of people flow in and out of the house in the past couple of weeks.  Normally that is a thing that makes me break out into a cold sweat because that means people are in our house and they can see it for the messy disaster it is.  Dean really got things into shape while he was home that first week, and we have been fighting like hell to keep it that way.  So far we have had multiple visits from the window contractor, a couple of different guys who delivered and set up medical equipment pertinent to my knee rehab, the parents of Rylan's friend that lives on our street - as they shuttle the girls back and forth on play dates, my cousin and aunt who paid me a visit, my mom's cousin visited for a day... lots of traffic flow.  In the first few days, I was stuck in bed.  The contractor CAME TO THE BEDROOM to discuss plans for replacement windows with me.  He and Dean had toured all over the house, while I had to stay in the passive motion machine.  I was not exactly up for wandering around the house, anyway.  The contractor seemed totally nonplussed by it.  On his next visit, he had a measuring guy with him, and he was totally uncomfortable with it.  He couldn't even make eye contact.  So while there was a ton of traffic, what I wished is that it wasn't a parade of strangers in my house, but a continual flow of friends instead.  The visit from my cousin and aunt, my mom's cousin, my brother, mom and dad were all very nice indeed.  They were integral in keeping my spirits up, but I wish it had been more.

Birthday and Friendship Blues

My birthday on the 8th sucked.  Several of my family members were on a cruise, and they were out at sea on the day of, so phone calls could not be made.  I was in pretty serious pain.  I was still struggling with an ineffective dosage amount of my pain meds, plus terrible cramping in the gut, and all I could do was curl into the fetal position and lay there.  Which meant I wasn't in the mood for company.  Which meant that I was left alone for hours (my own doing, not because my family was not taking care of me), with no means of getting anything I needed when the need did arise.  By the time dinnertime rolled around, I was dehydrated, had very low blood-sugar, and thoroughly pissed off for even being in that state.  We were to meet my dad for dinner and ice cream, and I could barely keep my bearings in the car, as woozy and dizzy as I was.  Dinner helped, the ice cream was better, so the day felt a little salvaged, somewhat.  In looking back, it was just an unfortunate confluence of a lot of different circumstances that couldn't be helped, that made the day what it was.  There was a nice trickle of messages throughout the day on Facebook, and that helped, but you know... I've had a lot of time to lie around, thinking about different things.  Friendship, and what it means, has come to mind a lot lately.  This recovery has been one long and lonely road.  My phone has been rather silent, my inbox a little too empty, and my heart a little heavy.

I've talked about these friendship troubles with Dean at length, as he lets me vent and feel sorry for myself.  He sees that at times I hold myself distant from friends, and that I close myself off.  I think that is true.  There are so many hurts and let-downs in my past that I think I use that as a protective measure so that I don't get hurt anymore.  But I think that loneliness hurts even more.  So, take a moment and give thanks if you have that close circle of friends that rally behind you when you face adversity.  If you have that friend that shows up with a cup of coffee and stays an hour to visit with you and makes you laugh to momentarily take your mind off your pain or your troubles, if you have that friend that calls you up to see how you are doing - just because, if you have that friend that drops off a new library book, or a casserole, or fresh produce or flowers from her garden.... you are so, so lucky.  Friendship is precious.  I have a lot work to do in the department of being a good friend and creating better friendships.

Schedule Hell

School starts for us tomorrow.  It is not the *official* first day for Colorado Calvert Online Academy, but we are getting a head start so that we can figure out how it all works beforehand.  The new school room is ready, but not quite ready for pictures.  I still have a few more things to get put away today.  For the past several months I have been hard at work clearing our schedule so that when we did make the jump and start up with Calvert, nothing during the daytime hours got in our way as a distraction.  Then I tore my ACL, and the rehab alone will steal hours from our school time.  Then, late last week, I realized I completely forgot something when planning out our fall schedule.  I spaced that Lego NXT is starting up again.  Both Rylan and Jordan are on Lego NXT teams.  Rylan is on an all-girls team, and her practices started last week.  I love Lego.  I love that they are excited about Lego.  I just don't love the time slot they practice in very much.  Monday-Thursday, for two hours each day, Jordan and Rylan will alternate days for their practice sessions.  I don't have a schedule yet for the times when Jordan, Rylan and Owen meet online with their teachers, but I anticipate we will have a serious time conflict in very short order.  I keep telling myself that Lego and therapy will only last until mid-November, but that is not helping very much.  This was not the start I was envisioning.  I'm already stressed...

Turning 43...

My sweet daughter made me a birthday card and a get well card today. Not only that, but Rylan's neighborhood friend, who spent the morning at our house, made me a card too, which was very sweet. I spent the entire morning making trips between bed and bathroom. Dizzy, nauseous and in pain isn't how I wanted to spend the day.

A man from a medical supply company came early in the afternoon to deliver yet another torture device for my knee. I have to wear a muscle stimulator cuff around my thigh twice a day for the next month or so. Twenty minutes of squeezing pins and needles, as electric currents stimulate my quadricep muscle. This was my surprise birthday gift, I suppose. (Yay....)

In the late afternoon we picked up my dad and drove to Culver's to have dinner and then take ice cream to the park. That was nice to see my dad and catch up with him. The kids were squirrley, the restaurant was loud, and my pain meds are still clearly not working well in the pain relief arena, but they were sure doing their job of making me dizzy and sick.

I went straight to bed when we got home, but got up around 10 pm when I heard Colin crying in bed. He just needed to be held. Dean lost his patience with him days ago. I feel bad that I have difficulty being the mom I need to be right now. I held Colin, propping him on my good leg, and he fell asleep after awhile. Holding a sleeping child is birthday gift enough for me.

No deep reflective thoughts about the past year at the moment, other than I hit the highest high and the lowest low in regards to my health and emotional well-being. Since I am in the midst of the lowest-low, the only way is up, so I hope this next year brings better health and happiness my way.

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ACL Reconstuction: otherwise known as the second-most painful thing in the world

The first being, of course, natural childbirth. Been there, done that... Twice. But it is easy to resolve labor pain. Push hard, baby comes out, pain done.

 

No. This is worse. Much worse. Like, can I cut my leg off now????? Kind of worse.

 

I am having a rare moment of lucidity, that short 20-30 minute period where I'm between rounds of meds, so I'm in serious pain, but not loopy...yet, so I am writing this quickly while it will still make sense. It's been a vicious cycle these past couple of days. The meds make me nauseous, loopy, sad, anxious and drowsy all at the same time. I have two different nausea medications - one pill, one patch, pain meds, anti-inflammatory, baby aspirin and stool softeners. In comparison to my last two surgeries (shoulder and BR), this one is totally kicking my ass. I feel completely helpless. And the pain and discomfort is unbelievable. Right now I am in the emotional phase of 'I'll never walk again...'. Supposedly you really can heal from this surgery, but right now it just seems impossible.

The day of surgery was terrible. Mom took me down, but when it was over and we were in the recovery room, the nurse was getting short with me for not rousing fast enough (I suppose they needed the bed..) and was also irritated with mom because mom was feeling lightheaded and dizzy, and she was my ride home. Soon mom was sitting on the floor, bracing her head on a chair and looking greenish white, and so the nurse got very snippy and barked orders to other nurses to take mom's blood pressure and call my husband. Dean had to leave a movie with the three little kids - they had just sat down with their popcorn mere minutes before, and drive the 45 minute drive to come get me. They released me to Dean, who drove my mom's car with me in the back seat, and my mom - who had recovered for the most part from this strange episode, drove the kids home. Strange trade-off. You let the grandma who is faint, drive three small children... I puked twice on the way home, but luckily they sent me with sick bags. They had given me a round of Fentanyl in the recovery room for pain (I was completely unaware), which makes me really, really sick. I had it when I delivered Rylan - my only drugged delivery, and it was *horrible*.

 

The ride home was awful since it was my husband driving. That man has a knack for hitting each and every bump on the road he can find. He did it during each and every one of my pregnancies, too. I got sick again, and then it was a long, horrible haul, scooting backwards on my behind up the stairs and into the bedroom. I haven't left yet. I am afraid to.

 

Here was my knee yesterday morning. I had to change my dressing. I wear a long compression sock to hold the dressings in place, otherwise. My skin is numb to the right of the main incision. It will most likely remain numb. The swelling is pretty bad right now, and I switch out the ice packs every three hours.

 

That's about it. I *get* to wrap myself up in plastic wrap and take a shower today. I've washed my hair in the bathroom sink the past couple of days, but I am feeling pretty gross at this point. I get to load into the car to go to my post-surgery appointment tomorrow afternoon. I'm not sure how I am going to do that yet.

 

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July

The calendar keeps churning away and July is almost gone!

Nine
Happy Anniversary today to my sweet husband. Nine years of crazy and fun. Emphasis on the crazy. Tonight we go out to celebrate by stuffing ourselves with various food items covered in cheese and chocolate. Just not at the same time. That would be gross.

1. We still can't agree on how to properly fold a towel.
2. He forgets to put tools away.
3. I forget the laundry.
4. He brings me Starbucks.
5. I make his coffee in the morning.
6. He uses too much cleaning spray.
7. I use too much pepper.
8. He makes the regular thoughtful gesture.
9. I dream up a never-ending stream of projects that require tools and his time.
Love ya' Honey!

Girl Scout Day Camp
Last week Rylan attended her week-long Girl Scout Day Camp. Luckily it was nice and cool most of the week - totally out of character for July - but along with that came thundershowers every afternoon, which made me a nervous wreck. With minimal help from me, Rylan got herself packed up every morning and made her own lunch and snack. At camp she fished, canoed, shot some arrows, scaled a climbing wall, sang songs, made some swaps and did a lot of crafts. I have to say something about all the craft-in-a-bag kits and especially the 'plastic cup basket weaving' project. Here is the offending object:

Sigh. A plastic cup? Really? Cue the creak of the rocking chair: "When I went to camp..." we wove actual baskets. With real grass. We spent a couple of hours working on our baskets, not the hurried pace of a new activity every 35 minutes. Camp Amakulo, I miss you. We also finger-wove yarn baskets. I kept mine for several years, but I don't know what happened to it. Rylan started her cup/yarn project at camp, and then had to stuff it into her backpack to take home and finish later. So as soon as she arrived home, she settled herself on the couch, and in quiet content, she spent the next hour 'weaving'. She remarked that it was so much easier to concentrate when there weren't sixty other girls yakking away. I agree.

Christmas in July
Just this past Saturday, Rylan attended her first dance audition. Her dance studio was holding try-outs for different parts in the Nutcracker, as rehearsals start next month. Rylan wore a number pinned to her leotard, and joined a few other girls in her age group (6-8 yr olds) for their audition. She could be placed in any number of parts - a dancing present in the party scene, or a tumbling candy cane or gingerbread. I think her tumbling experience in last years' class will help. She has a part for sure, as her dance class this year will be performing as butterflies in the Waltz of the Flowers scene. Performing in the Nutcracker isn't mandatory, but practicing the dance (different parts dictated by class level) is a part of regular dance class leading up to the performance. Dean and I will dance in the party scene again this year, but it just dawned on me that I will only have about 4 months of rehab from my surgery before it is time. I hope the healing goes well! And that I can fit into my dress. No exercise and emotional eating in the past couple of months has really put me back to almost where I started from!

The Big Squeeze
I had my mammogram and annual a couple of days ago. I have been dreading this mammogram ever since my BR surgery 9 months ago. I am not completely healed yet. My scars are tender, my breasts are tender... just imagining them being squeezed by the scanning machine has made me cringe every single day leading up to this. I'm not going to lie - it hurt. That is still no excuse not to get a mammogram, so if you haven't yet - DO IT. The tech did a total of four scans. The first one was the worst. When they place your breast on the plate, they then fine tune the position of the plate by moving it up and away from you to stretch things just a bit more. Since it is your bare skin sitting on this plate thingy, it sort of sticks there, and is pulled along as the plate moves around, and this is where most of the God-awful pain comes from - it was even that way before surgery, but this time around it pulled right along where my incision line is, and that. hurt. So after that first scan, when I could barely squeak out an "I'm OK" (which I clearly wasn't, but wanted to get the damn thing over with), she took out a large adhesive pad (picture a giant-sized mouse pad) and laid it on top of that plate thingy. What. a. difference. She told me not to tell anyone about it, since the pads cost $5 apiece. WTF!? If there is a way to make a mammogram less painful for women, I will shout it from the roof tops to all who will hear. Ask for the pad! Your skin won't stick and it adds just enough cushion during the squeeze portion of the scan that it makes it bearable. This year there was less squeezing actually than in times past. Less dense breast tissue to work through, I guess. They used to have to flatten each breast out like a dinner plate. Embarrassing AND painful! It was interesting to compare the scan from last year to this year. My breasts are totally different in the inside, and there is visible scar tissue now. This scan will now be my new baseline. I am very, very happy about my BR, and I don't regret it a second. The recovery time is much longer than I ever thought, and it really did do a number on my entire system (pain, numbness, lethargy and so forth) but it was sooo worth it.

ACL Reconstruction
I saw my orthopedic surgeon last week so that he could confirm that I am ready for my surgery next week. I have decided to go the autograft route, where I donate a portion of my own patellar tendon to the cause. I am feeling pretty good at this point. I can go without my brace and walk mostly w/o a limp, I can walk more than a mile at a time now, I can do stairs, squats and ride my bike. I even got down on both knees to dig through a bin last night. This all sounds good, but it is all done with a degree of instability that I can 'feel' in my joint. I always feel like my knee will give way at any moment. Occasionally my knee does pop backward or to the medial side, and Holy Hannah does that hurt. I also 'hear' and 'feel' the sound of the 'pop' as it happened at the time of injury, as my mind replays it for me in an endless loop at inappropriate times - like when I am trying to go to sleep or reading a book. Evil.

This will make for 3 surgeries in 14 months. I was most worked up about the BR surgery of course, because it would change my appearance and it meant major scarring and chances of infection. My shoulder surgery would grant almost instant pain relief - and it did. :) My knee though.. this is the surgery I am dreading. Knee pain stays with you. Every shift of your body, no matter how subtle, hurts. Maybe not so much now, but it was that way for that first month after injury, and I imagine it will be that way again after surgery. I am dreading that pain again, and I am dreading my impending loss of mobility. I can't keep up with the kids, the house, the everything...

IKEA
I dragged my husband to IKEA last weekend. We went with the intent of getting some tables and chairs to use in our schoolroom. I had the hair-brained idea that even though I am just days away from major surgery, this is the perfect time to completely gut a room, repaint, redo the lighting and do some decorating. I blame it on the 'nesting' instinct - similar to what you do right before baby. The painting was done last weekend, and we purchased two tables, 8 table legs, 4 swivel chairs, a new lighting system and some other odds and ends. Everything has been put together and in place, and it works beautifully for us. I just have to wrap up painting an old bookshelf and the art work, and then I will show and tell!

The Alphabet
I am in the finishing stages of a huge art project that I have wanted to create for several years. You will see when it is all done. For now - I present the letter "W".

The roof over our heads
We've picked the shingle color, we've obtained permission from the HOA, we've cashed the insurance check and made the down-payment with the roofing contractor. Now I am just waiting for the call from the contractor with the date when the roofers will arrive and complete the job. The call was supposed to come this week, and it is already Thursday. He's got 'til noon, then I am calling him. Don't mess with an overly-stressed lady who is frantically trying to get her ducks in a row! And we still need to talk to the windows guy, the painter guy....

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