Pssst....

So, I hope I'm not the only one out there who stashed all her notes that she passed back and forth in Jr. High/high school.  For 27 years I've been schlepping around a bag, stashed in a keepsake bin, of every tawdry/boring thing that happened in my pubescent life.  Emphasis on the boring.  That pile pictured above is about half of what it used to be.  Every once in awhile in the past few years I would read a few, either bless or curse the person who wrote it, and then shred it.  But now all of it, as of a half hour ago, is gone by the way of the shredder. Why?  Well, it is part of a declutterting mission for the month of February:  if it doesn't make me feel good to have it in the house, get rid of it.  The 'note bag' has been sitting on top of a book case in our bedroom for almost a year.  No idea why I put it up there, except to get it out of the way when I was sorting through a bin.  But I've looked at it, every day, since then.  I knew the memories that lurked within, and I finally needed to put them to rest.  Also, you just can't leave evidence of that stuff laying around for little prying eyes to read and wonder who the hell their mother really is.

Heck, I wondering the same thing right now.

For the past hour, I've been mentally wandering the halls of my Jr. High and high school, lounging in the bedrooms of my friends (back in the day), standing before lockers and sitting in uncomfortable desks.  It all came back, in bits and pieces.  And yet - I don't ever care to go back again.  So into the shredder they went. 

The intricately folded notebook papers.

The locker numbers and combinations.

The complaints about boring teachers.

The suggestions for boys who might like me.

The suggestions that so-and-so is a bitch.

The suggestions for the horror movie we need to watch on our next sleepover.

The fights.

The spats.

The tiffs.

The "I'm so glad you are my friend - let's be best friends 4-eva!"

The slam books. (remember those?)

The attempts to guess at who you were going to marry.

The attempts to guess at how many kids you were going to have.

The attempts to guess at what your job would be, the car you would drive, and how you would die.

The attempts to guess at how good your sex life would be.  (really?  In 8th grade?)

The opinions about the person in front of you, beside you and behind you in class.

The fear of getting caught passing notes.  (But you did it anyway).

The critiques of the reproduction films shown in Health class.

The attempts to write in code. (Jenelle's specialty)

At the end of my reading session, I had a multitude of feelings.

I didn't like myself very much.

I felt like some of my choices in friends were pretty poor. 

I wondered how I ever passed eighth grade.  I didn't seem to be too concerned with homework.

I hated all of the bickering/sniping/bragging/complaining/comparing that was going on - especially during the high school years - and most of it was because of me.

I struggled to think of any good memories from those days - apart from band.

I missed some of my friends very much - but the geographical distance and passage of years has taken it's toll.

My best friend from early Jr. High years, Juliette, was the absolute best at folding and decorating notes.  She moved away to Montana before we moved on to high school.

My best friend in high school, Sheila, had the best handwriting, hands down.

I didn't like the nickname "Larry"

Those years were so hard to navigate for me, emotionally.  I think that a lot of the 'baggage' that I carry around - to this day, is directly related to how difficult those years were for me.  I was an instigator of a lot of the fighting between friends.  I expected friends to take sides, I held grudges, I was sooo passive-aggressive in how I handled arguments and I was too easily swayed by peer-pressure - and I used peer pressure to my advantage as well.  I grew up years before I should have - and I blame mostly myself.  What saddens me most is that I didn't place an ounce of importance on my education.  It was all about the socializing.  I can count on one hand the educational achievements that I am proud of from those years.

If I am to take anything away from this trip down memory lane, it is only that I will do my absolute best to steer my children away from ever entertaining the thought of going to public school. The social angst of those 6-8 grade years is just absolutely ridiculous.  No - I don't think that my kids would make the same mistakes that I did, but school is even more of a sketchy social haven today then it was back then.  They get enough of a workout with their interpersonal skill-set as it is, despite being a homeschooler. 

Call me overprotective - but seriously - would you ever want to revisit to your Jr. High days?

In closing,

here is a test of acronyms from the note-passing days.

S/S/S (which can mean two different things)

L/Y/L/A/S

W/B or W/B/S

I must be getting old, because I can't remember any more.  And I can't go sift through the note pile and look for more, because they are shredded.  And I am thankful for that.  :)



Happy Birthday Colin!

Colin turned the big 'two' on the 5th.  We had originally planned, a long, long time ago, that we would take the family to the Denver Aquarium (just like we did two years ago when Owen turned two), and then celebrate with dinner out afterwards.

This birthday wasn't exactly a disaster, but nothing went according to plan.

1. In November, the scout troop drafted their new activity calendar for the coming year, and we saw that Colin's birthday fell on the last day of the Klondike campout.  We vowed to carry on.  We would just delay the festivities until Dean and Jordan got home at noon.  Now that we have experienced what a Klondike is like, we know that the thought of doing anything after that experience is a mistake.  After shivering in sub-zero temps for two solid days (and not be accustomed to doing so), you are absolutely physically drained.

2.  The Superbowl.  Nice to know that the two events  (Superbowl AND Birthday) will likely coincide every few years.  I suppose that blending the two would make it double the fun - in the future.  But this little guy was turning two and he isn't much into football yet (no matter what his daddy says).  I had already sent out the Evites to the family when I realized that the Superbowl was the same day.  To my family's credit, everyone said carry on with the party - we'll be there!.... (unless the Broncos are playing).  This would have actually worked out quite well because the aquarium would have been considerably less busy on a Superbowl Sunday afternoon.

3.  Snow.  Lots of it.  Snow started to fall on Friday eve.  While we got 8 inches here, down in Denver they got about 22 inches.  The restaurant we had made our reservation with was closed on Saturday due to the adverse conditions.  No idea if they would be open on Sunday.  With all of that snow, driving and parking would have been a nightmare.  The snow and frigid cold also meant that Dean and Jordan were having just that much more of an ordeal on the Klondike.

4.  Drama.  I hate drama.  Whenever it happens, it just seeps under my skin and permeates everything with an ugly sort of pallor.  I can't focus on the happiness at hand.  I'm busy drafting arguments and rebuttals in my head.  I'm tense, forgetful and completely distracted.  There has been too much drama lately about a personal matter, and it came to a head that weekend - and my husband (my sounding board and my tether) was gone camping, so it got extra mean and nasty.  I was angry, angry, angry.   So very angry.  An angry momma can't really get into the birthday spirit.

I called off the party on Saturday afternoon (in light of the snow), and decided we would make the best of it at home and enjoy the Superbowl as well.  Low and behold, on Sunday morning, my dad called and asked if he and my stepmom could bring over a birthday breakfast spread.  (Yes!!).  I held my baby boy, kissed his two year old cheek and wished him a happy birthday.  Soon enough my dad and stepmom were coming through the door with waffle irons, sourdough batter, bacon, cherry syrup and more.  I was on the phone, hashing through the previous night's drama with a friend, and as I did dishes they cooked up a storm and soon enough we were eating a wonderful breakfast.  It was such a relief that I was in tears.  I was also really, really tired.  Too many sleepless nights and high doses of stress.

Soon after the breakfast dishes were cleared it was time to pick up two very cold and tired campers.  Jordan earned a combined total of 90 frost points for the campout.  Some gear was still frozen solid.  The plastic windows in Dean's rainfly cracked from the cold.  Lots of food, that froze inside the cooler, had to be chucked.  But the campout was deemed a success.

Rylan and I spent the rest of the afternoon running errands and then I came home and started prepping the food for the game.  We had hummus dip with flatbread, cucumbers, tomatoes and peppers, chips and salsa, and pulled pork sandwiches.  My mom came over just after the game started, with a beautiful chocolate cake in hand for the birthday boy.  I had intended to make a cake (I'm a stickler about that), but I just didn't have it in me that night.

Colin was doing great until about the time we were ready to eat.  He was tired and cranky and then he just lost it.  A major crying fit ensued, and it was difficult to get him to pull it together in time for the birthday video chat with his grandparents in Oklahoma.  He managed to stop crying and take an interest in his cake, so we lit the candles and all sang while he took swipes at the chocolate frosting with his finger. 

The Birthday do-over

So this past weekend was the do-over.  We met my aunties at the Denver Aquarium on Sunday afternoon, and took a leisurely pace through the exhibits.

Here was Owen on his second birthday two years ago:

Here was Colin, just this past Sunday, one week past his second birthday:

Colin with his great Auntie Cheryl

Notice anything?  I swear I didn't dress him.  Jordan did.  Although at this point, Colin is too tall for the brown overalls portion of this outfit, and outgrew those boots (passed down from Owen) last summer.  Colin *LOVED* the aquarium.  We had seven adults in our party, and four kids.  Even with that ratio we were outnumbered.  There were kids darting everywhere, and we were constantly switching it up as to who was watching out for who.  Chaos and fun at the same time. 

Owen spent quite a bit of time with his favorite pal...

Owen just loves this guy.  He did NOT want to leave him.  We spent a good twenty minutes looking at him.  I think he remembers him from last time...

We finished the day with an awesome meal at Cinzetti's, where we were joined by several more family members.  I made a Grasshopper Cake (white cake with mint flavoring, a layer of hot fudge topping and topped off with tinted whip cream and Andes Mints.) and Colin and his great Auntie Kathy each blew out their candles.  (Aunt Kathy's birthday is tomorrow)

A MUCH better day, all the way around.  Colin (ahem) asked for birthday money this year so that he could put it towards an annual family membership to the Denver Zoo.  He has enough to get the membership and purchase a nice gift at the zoo gift shop.  Can't wait to go - he LOVES the zoo!

So I think this was definitely a success.  It fit all of the important birthday party criteria:

1.  It was not at my house.  (don't have to clean!)

2.  We went to a restaurant.  (don't have to cook!)

3.  I made the cake.  (this is just a personal thing for me - I love making birthday cakes.  I didn't say I was good at decorating them - I just like homemade cake)

4.  We kept it simple: party favors were little Valentine bags filled will several pieces of Valentine candy, enough for every person there (not just for the kids). 

5.  And most important of all: family was there to make it special and fun - which is what matters most.







Happy Hearts Day

I told my husband no roses, no card, no big candy heart this year.... I wanted to do something different.  He verified the details at least three different times, just to make sure that I hadn't changed my mind and would be disappointed if none of the above appeared today.  My husband has had a stellar record so far when it comes to Valentine's Day.  Beautiful bouquets of long-stem roses, candy, beautiful cards... a favorite CD.  I am a very, very lucky girl.

Ever since we became a family and grew by leaps and bounds, the holiday has changed quite a bit - it became more about the kids to me than just romantic love. So this year, I came up with a different way to go about it. 

1.  Do away with the expense.  Let's face it, after going through FPU, there is no way I could feel it was justified to spend as much as we used to on the cards, candy, flowers, dining out and so forth.

2.  Do away with the stress.  No more party planning for me.  It used to be that I would stress out that the kids would be missing out on the party aspect of it.  My own memories of the classroom Valentine Party thing - with mailboxes for little cards, games and too much red food coloring were clouding my own sense of reason: the kids won't miss it because that is not their norm.  It was mine.

3.  Do keep it simple.  Stay home and fix a nice dinner - a meal that is easy to prepare and a family favorite.  Throw in a fancy dessert that is a no-brainer.  Chocolate-dipped strawberries anyone?  Also, nine yards of pink tulle can do wonders for creating ambiance.  Not bad for $8.37.

4.  Do keep it meaningful.  Dean and I wrote out five little Valentines to each child and to each other. (So if you've lost count, that's 25 we had to do)  Using a simple cut-out heart, we wrote down a nice thought or appreciation about that person.  We taped a candy to each one.  Then I had each child write out 3 Valentines, in the same fashion, to each sibling and parent.  Then we put them all in a bowl.  During dinner, we each selected three from the bowl, read them aloud and thanked the person who wrote it.

It.  was.  awesome. 

Everyone liked to hear something nice - especially when it is coming from a brother or a sister.  We have many, many more to read through - I think we will just continue with reading three each night - it will be something to continue to look forward to all week.

I was so grateful for this opportunity to acknowledge how truly wonderful my husband and kids are - and tell them so.  And it is a practice that we can continue - long after the shiny paper hearts get peeled away from the cupboards.  Maybe every few days we could spend a few minutes, as we share a meal, to go around the table and share an appreciation or two about all of the other family members that are there.

It feels just as good (if not better) to say it as it is to hear it.

So, if you're reading this..

Mom, I love how you come over every Wednesday morning, regardless if the kids have practiced, to give them a piano lesson.  And that you have a Werther's to give to them as soon as you walk through the door - because you know that makes them feel special and that they look forward to that.  And that you think it is just as funny as I do that Colin runs around with Owen's underwear on his head.

Michelle - I appreciate how you take the time to put so much thought, time and attention to detail as you pull together each and every birthday present.  I LOVE the album you created for me on my birthday.

Kirk - I love that you have just the right kind of advice to give when it comes to me wearing my emotions on my sleeve.  You always help me put it into perspective.

Dad - I love how you keep me well-stocked with tomatoes every summer, and canned peaches every winter.  Your gardening advice means the world to me.

P & V - I love how you line up projects to do with the kids each and every time we (or you) visit.  It makes the visit all the more special - and the kids remember it and talk about it long afterwards.

Love you all!!

Shush



No.

This is my space.

My corner of the world that is just for me.

I created it to have a place for me to leave the good.  the bad.  the funny.  the unpleasant.

Because life is like that.

It is not always neat, pretty, creative and cozy like a spread in a magazine.

Remember?  I'm not p#^!*#t.

And neither are you.... or you....or you

Because there are a lot of 'you's' out there

You came here looking to commiserate or celebrate

You came here looking for ideas, to feel superior, or (hopefully) to laugh

and more significantly, nod your head in agreement.

Life in recent months has not been easy.

Lots and lots of drama

and I brought it all here, to lay it down and sort it out,

and shout it from the rooftops when I was mad as hell

or as proud

I will not gloss life over and pretend my kids never pick their noses, that I don't have piles of laundry on the floor, that my bills are all paid on time, that I am never late and that I have never disappointed my friends or family at some point and time. 


Some people have that one best friend.  Or a jogging partner.  Or a sister.  Or a cat that will ignore you but you just carry on and pretend she is listening.  Anyway: Somebody to turn to when the troubles hit.


For me, I prefer to write about it.  That is what helps me the most, because I absolutely hate confrontation.  I think of this space as my personal pensieve - free from censorship - to let me drag out those thoughts that give me the most grief and give them a place to rest. OUTSIDE MY HEAD.  I may call a friend or two and ask for advice on occasion (and vent... - many thanks to a certain few - you know who you are).  And most importantly I have my husband to talk to, who knows exactly how I operate.  He knows to give me a bag of chocolate when I've been too quiet (ie. silent treatment), and I'll talk his ear off.  I might even admit that I was wrong.

What can I say?  I am a Leo. 

I am a passive-aggressive dramatist.

Okay, I'm done ranting now.  Thank you for reading.

We will now return to our regularly scheduled program of schoolwork, food items in muffin tins, kids in karate outfits, a random recipe series that I will forget to finish and ideas and opinions about anything and everything under the sun.  Some of which will likely piss people off.  Just the usual stuff.

Regret

It is with great sadness and regret

that I share with you the tragic news

of the death of my spine



I don't get it...



On Saturday, Rylan and I made a quick visit to the library to grab a couple of books.  She requested a video, so we checked out the movies in the children's section.  We have watched most of the them, but I spied a title that we had yet to see: Where the Wild Things Are.  I would like the Universe to know that, in the future, I would appreciate a little more guidance when it comes to picking out movies, because this one just sucked all life out of the room and left us confused and feeling sad that we had just wasted away some very precious minutes of our life watching something so completely pointless.

Oh I know...  "It's art".  "It's an expression of how difficult the transition is from childhood to adolescence".  "It's a boy trying to sort out some very intense feelings".  Blah, blah, blah.  It's either some screenwriters on a really bad acid trip, or a sad attempt to work out some long over-due childhood issues.  It is by far the worst film adaptation I have ever seen of a children's book.  Children will not understand this movie.  I'm an adult and I don't even understand it.  It's violent, sadistic and depressing.

Now for the good parts.   The cinematography is beautiful. (like the image above, for example).  Jim Henson's Creature Shop did an amazing job with the costumes.  I love the character of Judith.  She has a wicked dark side and I actually found her quite funny.  I also sort of like the randomness of some of the parts.  Like the giant sheepdog running through the desert, or the two owls - Bob and Terry, who get knocked out of the sky by KW.  Sometimes, if you are in the right frame of mind, random sh!t like that is hilarious.  But not in the middle of the afternoon, when you are watching it with your 5 and 11 year old, and they are lost and confused about what is going on.

Jordan requested multiple times that we just turn it off.  He got especially upset when Carol (the main Wild Thing), ripped off the wing of Douglas (the bird).  A whole bunch of sand poured forth from the gaping wound as he did so.  Jordan was up and out of the room at that point... and Rylan was non-plussed.  I thought it was absolutely unnecessary to include a scene like that.  You're marketing this film to kids, remember?  How many dirt clod wars has this movie spurred on - and how many kids went to the emergency room with head injuries because of it???  I do have to say that in the later scenes, whenever you see Douglas, it's pretty funny that he used a spindly little stick as a replacement for his wing.  Sick and wrong, yes.... but funny all the same.

To add to our misery of the day, Rylan chose (from among her library books) a book called Thirteen Words by Lemony Snicket as her bedtime story.  I have not read any of Lemony Snicket's other stuff, as of yet.  I do have the entire selection of A Series of Unfortunate Events left over from my classroom days.  Jordan has yet to show any interest in reading them - which may be a good thing since I hear the storyline is dark and has questionable subject matter.  This particular book that Rylan picked out - a picture book, was just released in 2010.  Again - flowery reviews about the ingenuity of the writing and stunning artwork.  For me, it just left me confused all over again.  I don't get it.  Rylan thought parts of it were funny - so maybe to just read it through a child's eyes is what you need to do.

Here is what I think happened when this book came to fruition.  I think Daniel Handler (aka Lemony Snicket) took a bar bet.  Someone wrote down a list of 13 random words and bet him that he couldn't make a story out of them.  I guess you could say that he won - because he did write a story...per se.  Unfortunately it doesn't make any sense.  This experience, however, is not a total loss.  It gave me the idea that this could be a fun and creative writing/dictation assignment for Jordan and Rylan.  Jordan can write his story, and Rylan can tell me hers (and I'll write it down) and see what they come up with.  I'll use the same list of words, but have them work on this separately, and then read their stories aloud at dinner.  Hmmmm  (wheels are turning...)

One more aside that could fit here under the 'I don't get it" heading...

Last Saturday Rylan and I were out selling cookies.  We were walking down one side of the street, while two sisters were riding their bikes down the other side.  A fight broke out between the two, and the little sister stormed off down the street.  Big sister goes into their house and informs their mom that the little sister is 'running away'.   Mom comes out and yells at the little sister to come back.  Little sister keeps on walking, claiming that big sister is too mean.  Mom takes off after her, yelling all the while.  She threatens that she will call the police and report the little sister as a runaway.  She repeats this threat about three more times.  Little sister just keeps on walking/crying/screaming "NO! I won't come back!".

Rylan just watches this whole event unfold, amazed.  (Under my breath) I inform Rylan that the mother made a bad choice in telling her daughter that she was going to call the police.  That implies the little girl is a 'bad' girl and that the police are something to fear.  What a screwed-up message!  The mother doesn't even hear what the little sister is trying to tell her - that the big sister is being mean to her.  I hate that Rylan saw this ugly scene, but it was a good chance to have a discussion about:

* don't run away from your problems

* don't run away PERIOD

* The police are in our community to help us, not punish us

* don't threaten your family members - love them enough to listen

I just don't get it when parents act like that.  I grieve for this little girl and the amount of therapy that she will need in the future.

So.  For today's agenda... a little less culture (movies and books) and a little more nature.  That ought to set the world right.



Simple Woman's Daybook Entry

Okay.  Hair pulled back in a ponytail, tall mug of hot coffee and headphones are in.  Let's do this!  My thoughts are so jumbled and running wild with emotion... I need some framework so that I can keep my tone in check.  Hence...

Outside my window...   Dang!  Front shades are closed.  Just a sec....  I see three mommas with their kids walking a combined total of four dogs.  It is such a nice, mild sunny day.

I am thinking...  A number of things and most of them are about unpleasant shtuff.

I have come to the conclusion that I am not very good at sharing.


1. I was on my cell phone with my husband yesterday, as Rylan and I were leaving a neighborhood after wandering around selling GS cookies.  I noticed a mom and daughter, with a wagon loaded with cookie boxes, knock on a door of a house that we had already hit - (but nobody answered our knock).  I saw the front door open as we drove by, and I unleashed a verbal tirade about what I was seeing into the phone and that didn't make me sound very grown-up - especially when my own daughter was in the backseat, listening.  I need to remember that my daughter isn't the only girl out there, selling.  Share!

2. I ate the last Thin Mints in the box.  And I didn't feel guilty when I told the kids they were all gone.  Um... do I have to share?

I am thankful... For good friends who are willing to listen to me as I sort out my interpersonal issues.

 
From the Learning Rooms... We did a reasonable amount of schoolwork this week, until Friday hit.  That day I had the pleasure of spending an absolutely unreasonable amount of time stewing and sorting out issues that as of yet remain unresolved.  School cannot take a backseat to this kind of crap.  I'm really mad at myself that I cannot find a way to say what I need to say and get this business dealt with once and for all.


In the kitchen... I made some orange-cranberry muffins earlier this week.  I have two bags of cranberries in the freezer that I threw in there (last November!!), so I was thrilled to find a way to use them.  The recipe showed up on my Facebook feed from Taste of Home.  I left the computer, and 27 minutes later we were enjoying the muffins.  Everyone except Owen.  He picked out the 'yucky red things'.

I am wearing...  (too embarrassed to say)  okay, okay.... pjs?


I am creating... still working on the birthday placemat. I had an epiphany that felt will come in handy. Can't wait to start working on this tomorrow. This upcoming week is our 'off' week, so I have all week to play with it.

I am going... Where else?  Out to sell cookies in little bit.  Such is my life right now.  At least it is a sunny day.


I am wondering... Why, why, why can't people proofread their posts, texts and so forth? Even in their email program - where they have a spell-check available, do they not use it? So. annoying.  What is even worse is when the mistakes are made by a homeschooling parent.  If you are your child's principal teacher, it conveys a negative image about all homeschoolers when you use bad grammar, incorrect spelling and horrific punctuation - especially when you are communicating with other adults and your email is meant to disseminate important information.  Gee whiz... write like an adult pleze!

I am reading... The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest, Sink Reflections


I am hoping... For wisdom


I am looking forward to... Next weekend - My baby turns two!!!  No.  Wait.  I am not looking forward to my baby turning two.  I will rock this little boy to sleep every chance I get this upcoming year, because the holding, cuddling and rocking will soon come to an end.  He is already talking in sentences.  I am not ready for this.

I am learning... I just figured out some of the settings on my iPhone.  I was wondering why I wasn't receiving some alerts in a reminder app (Jog My Memory) that I had installed months ago.  I also just discovered the pull-down 'shade' that lists all notifications.  I am an idiot.  Technology is not one of my strong-points.  I am also investigating Pinterest.  Not enough time in the Universe right now, for something like that.... I'll just leave it to my friends to funnel good things my way!  (Thanks Shawn!)


I am hearing... George Michael's Listen Without Prejudice, Vol 1 on my headphones. This is one of my go-to albums for background music for writing. Despite having headphones on right now, I can hear that the kids are playing with the vacuum. Let's just assume it is Colin, and move on with this missive.


Around the house... "off week" this week!  Lots of prep work for Dean and Jordan this week, as they prepare for the boy scout Klondike campout this upcoming weekend. Today we are sorting through the camping gear and getting it stored away again in the basement.  It is currently in the garage, and in very real danger of getting run over by the van when I pull it into the garage, if I am not careful.  Which is most of the time.

I am pondering... Why speaking up for yourself can be so hard.  Be kind to yourself.  If a situation grows so uncomfortable, you need to look our for yourself and diffuse it.  It's just the doing it that is so hard.  I don't like confrontation.


One of my favorite things... This music.  I haven't had the pleasure of hearing this whole album in several years.  Headphones are a luxury in my life right now.

A few plans for the rest of the week... Finish the birthday placemat for Colin.  Get the camping gear packed up.  Send the boys on their way on Friday, and enjoy pizza with the little kids that night and play some games.  Saturday will be a fun, low-key day and an early bedtime so I can enjoy a chickflick I've DVR'ed for just such an occasion.  I have How to Make and American Quilt and Eat, Pray, Love  to choose from.  Sunday is Colin's second birthday.  We are going to the aquarium and then out to dinner with family.  It sucks that it coincides with the SuperBowl, but since the Broncos aren't in it, I don't really care.  We'll record it on the DVR and enjoy the commercials later.


Here is a picture for thought I am sharing...

Jordan took this picture two weeks ago, using his new camera.  I love the tilt-shift effect.

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