You might be a narrow-minded racist redneck....

I present Exhibit A.

 

(which happens to be our van)

 

 

 

 

Exhibit B

 

(A bigot who resides in...oh, look!  Arizona!)

 

 

Question.

 

Which do you find more offensive?  Hmm?

 

 

Because today some beer-bellied, foul-mouthed, poor-excuse for a human being decided that MY van's bumper stickers were a tad bit offensive for his conservative tastes, and proceeded to shout out to his friend, sitting in his truck, that - and I quote - "Look what some fucking idiot pasted on their van!  Obama lovers... what a fucking joke!"

 

 

Well, the problem is, he said this as he was walking not ten feet away from my vehicle.  Which was occupied by myself and my four impressionable children at the time.  With the windows down.  Yes.  We heard every. last. word.

 

I think you would have had to use high-speed film in order to capture my exit from my vehicle.  I was on him before the chickenshit could jump in his truck, but the glee in that fat-fucker's face said it all - he knew what he said, he knew who he said it in front of, and he didn't care.  Not a whit.

 

This will be the third, maybe fourth nonprovoked run-in I've had with an asshat whose got a problem with my democratic ideals.  (But this was, by far, the most vitriolic exchange I have had the pleasure of partaking in.)  All of which were instigated by my bumper stickers.  My bumper stickers that mention a person's NAME and the YEAR of the election.  Oh, and that we like the Sooners.

 

I did not single any ethnic group out.

 

I did not insinuate anything about someone's moral character.

 

I did not make false accusations or judgements.

 

I did not use offensive language or symbols.

 

 

 

So which party has the true image problem here?  What THE HELL is wrong with these people?

 

 

 

Here is my personal wish for Mr. Arizona (proud owner of Exhibit B)

 

* you lose your job to an immigrant who is willing to do the work you think you are too good for.

* you lose your healthcare because you are so damned determined in your quest to ruin our country.

* you will have to depend on government assistance in order to get by.

* your son comes home one day and shares with you that he is, in fact, gay.

* your wife leaves you, and takes your dog with her.

 

 

Because you know what? 

 

You will always have your pick-up truck...and a narrow mind to go with it.

 

 



Field trip: Berry Patch Farms

We visited Berry Patch Farms, in Brighton, CO, on August 15th.  (So...yeah, this post is a little delayed...).  A lot was happening on the 15th - my nephew, Connor was turning sweet 16, our dog, Abby, was turning 8, and Jordan was arriving home on a flight from OKC.  There was also a preschool-aged event happening that morning at the Berry Patch Farms - a place I have wanted to visit ever since fellow homeschooling mom, Kristina, arranged a field trip there a couple of years ago.  (we didn't go - Colin was only 6 mo. old and I was not up for it).

So the scheduling stars aligned that day, and we went to the farm that morning and then hightailed it over to the airport to pick up Jordan by early afternoon.  The event ran from 9:30 - 11:30.  The website was a little lacking in it's description... it sounded more like 'a class' than an: 'arrive whenever you want to, do some stuff, and leave whenever'...  'And pay us $5 per kid that you bring.'... 'Thanks.'

So I was sweatin' buckets when I pulled in at 9:39am, thinking we were late for a class.  Parking was difficult but we managed to find a spot amongst the other 128 minivans.  I didn't think to grab a backpack for myself when we left the house because I am still in stroller-mentality - which is a method of transportation we rarely use anymore.  It sure would have been helpful that day, and I think I will have to go that route for any future events like this.  When you take into consideration the waterbottles, sunscreen, camera, phone, keys, money, snacks, blah, blah, blah... I can't really wing it anymore.  Fortunately we did have Colin's little backpack, which has morphed into the on-the-go diaperbag in recent days.  ('THE' diaperbag - the bag we have used everyday since Rylan was born six years ago, had run it's course a couple months ago.  It was also something we rarely used anymore.  I had this little backpack, and it was perfect to hold 2-3 diapers, small box of wipes, and a large baggie of kiddie first aid stuff - bandaids and antiseptic wipes, which is all we really need anymore)  So I put my phone, keys and money in there too (no pockets that day), and hoped that he didn't run off!

Sunhats and sunscreen were next, and we finally left the car around 10 am.  No kidding.  Nobody exactly felt like being compliant that morning.  It didn't help that we were parked next to a goat pen, with an extremely friendly goat to distract the kids.  We wandered into the farm area and I got my bearings.  I figured out from some other moms that were milling around that we needed to go into a big barn/produce & product farm stand to pay.  That's where I found out that there wasn't really a schedule, and that we could wander around from activity to activity.

Here were the activities:

1. Each kid received a pint-sized container to take to the berry fields to fill with strawberries.
2. A craft project.  The craft project this day was rolling a beeswax candle.
3. Watch out for the resident bad-tempered farm pig.  Don't pet him. 
4. Chase the chickens.
5. Watch a video about bees.
6. Ride on a hayride out to the fields and back.
7. Climb on a wooden tractor and let your mom take a picture of you.

And that was about it for the agenda that morning...  slim pickin's IMHO, but I guess it was perfect for the preschool set.


So, first things first - try and drag the diaperbag-backpack laden two year old away from the nasty-tempered pig. (who didn't appear to be all that mean, but the resident farmer sure hustled over when he saw this mob scene...)

I steered the kids over to some picnic tables so that we could do our 'craft'.  It took about a minute and a half to roll up a sheet of beeswax around a long piece of sting.  Thirty seconds if you are an impatient six year old.  Twenty seconds if you are four, and your name is Owen.

So with that difficult task out of the way and the finished product safely stowed in the little backpack, we were off to the berry fields.  It was very hazy that day due to some smoke from wildfires in Idaho and Wyoming.  This view is looking west, and you can't even see the mountains!  Besides berries, there were long rows of flowers and herbs to pick from as well.  (if you paid for that)

The tractor dropped us off at the field and we tried to wander away from most of the people in the hopes of finding some strawberries.  The fields were already pretty well picked over, unfortunately.

We did manage to find a few.. Owen was eager to pick, and so was Rylan.  But it was hot and the kids were a little cranky.  Especially Colin.  He was all about the tractor, and was *really* pissed off at me that we had to leave the tractor behind as we walked into the fields.  And he let everyone know it too.  To the degree in which he wandered around, carrying our one lone waterbottle, bawling his eyes out and refusing to follow us.  Nice.

See?

 

So once we had picked a very measly collection of less-than-stellar looking strawberries, I made Colin happy by snagging a ride on the next tractor ride back to the main farm.  And then we had to get off.  I was once again the meanest mom in the world...

 

 

There wasn't much to do after that because the kids were hot, tired, cranky - and now hungry, so a little educational video/talk was out of the question, so we left.  We ambled towards the airport and hit a Sonic for lunch and good-mood inducing shakes.  I needed as much leverage as I could get because I was about to not only take the kids into the airport, but get concourse passes, go through security and meet Jordan at the gate when his plane arrived.

 

We were tight on time, and the only parking available was in one of the most remote spots in the outdoor short-term parking lots.  I did use the stroller this time (it's almost always in the car, still) and loaded Owen onto it too so that we could huff it through the lots and up to check-in.  The process actually went very smoothly.  We got our passes and then went through security.  Both Rylan and Owen have done this before, but never Colin, and never as a whole group.  In the past it was mostly Dean, taking only one designated child with him as I circled the main concourse waiting for him to come back.  We got ushered through a different area so that we didn't have to do the full-body scan thing.  The TSA were very polite and patient with us, I must say.  We went down to the trains and rode all the way out to concourse C to meet Jordan - which is nice because it means the longest train ride.  The kids loved it.  We arrived at the gate just as Jordan walked off the plane, so our timing couldn't be better.  We rode the train back, picked up his suitcase and then did the long walk back to the car.  Jordan was thrilled to be back in Colorado, after the awful heat he endured in OKC.

 

We drove home, had dinner, and then made a 'birthday cake' for Abby.  We do things fancy in these parts and spare no expense - so the cake consisted of a peanut butter sandwich with 8 dog biscuits set in additional globs of peanut butter.  I'm sure we shortened her life just a little bit...

 

The Ultimate Sandbox

It's Labor Day!  I hope you don't have too much planned in the way of labor today.  In honor of today (and because I have neglected to for almost three months now), I will show you the fruits of our labor we did in days past.  Several days in fact.  Well... it took just over a year to complete.  Not because it actually took that long.  Just lots of 'thinking time' was involved.

Anyways, we built a sandbox!  We got the whole thing framed and filled with sand, but we had no idea how we wanted to finish the 'roof', so there it sat.  For a year.  We knew that shade fabric had to be involved because there is no shade to speak of in our yard, except from 2 - 8 pm on summer days, just below those aspen trees in the back corner.  Which is also where the dirt pit from hell is located.  Along with stubby aspen roots.  Not a fine place to play at all.  So the cool shade made by the aspens is absolutely worthless to us, but the dog enjoys it.  We do have two other trees in the backyard - a maple and a locust.  The maple is doing its best to die.  I think it might actually succeed this winter.  The locust is growing....slowly.... but we planted it in such a weird location that it will be years before it shades anything of consequence.  In the meantime our backyard will continue to be the most unpleasant place to be from May - September.

I dreamed up the idea of a sandbox, thinking that it would be an awesome place to park rowdy kids.  Slap some shade on it and make it big enough to fit all of them so that they would be out of my hair.

Caution!  I did not think this through.  A sandbox in the yard means lots of sand in the house.  And in the mouth...the diaper...the garden...the window well...the drain pipe...the bbq grill.

You've been warned.

We decided to locate the sandbox right in front of the kitchen bay window, so that we would have something 'nice' to look at in the wasteland that is our backyard.  We started building on April 16th...last year.  I wanted the finished size to be 8' x 8' square, so Dean cut the boards and Rylan helped me stain/seal them.

We all helped in the endeavour to remove the sod.  Which wasn't hard because you can't really call the random green patches in our yard, 'sod'.  The ground is as hard as concrete, with lots of divots and several ant hills.  Dean laid out the frame, bolted it, then cut the corner posts and we stained them as well.  If I remember right, they are five feet tall.

The next day (17th) the kids and I excavated down a few inches and carted off the dirt.  When Dean got home from work we filled in the bottom with a couple inches of rock, for drainage.  The rock came from another part of the the yard.  Then we laid down two layers of weed fabric - running in opposite directions.  We picked up the entire frame to pull the fabric all the way up from the underside.

(Colin, 14 mo.)

Look at those chubby cheeks!  I want to bite them!

The peanut gallery...

The following day Colin did this...

And I evidently did this, because that's all I have pictures of...

These were the first books that we rowed with FIAR.  We really did enjoy the process - especially creating watercolors of the Yellow Ball.  I also must have ordered sand on this day, because the next morning, (the 19th), this is what arrived in our driveway...

The 19th was actually a very sad day.  My grandma Betty passed away shortly after the sand arrived.  I remember, because I was shoveling as I was waiting for the news.  Grandma's health had deteriorated quickly in the previous days, and we knew the end was imminent.  The shoveling really, really helped me focus instead of falling to pieces with grief and frustration because I wanted to be there with her.  Grandma lived three hours away, and there just wasn't time to get there.  She was also unaware of her surroundings, by that point...and it would have been inappropriate to bring all of the kids.  But I still wanted to be there, to hold her hand as she slipped away.  Gosh I miss her...

(and this is probably why I have waffled on writing this post - I don't like to think about it)

Anyway, I shoveled, carted and dumped all of that sand in just a couple of hours.  In the following days we did some school (the middle part of the art project), enjoyed some snow, installed a new sink and celebrated Easter at home because everyone was sick.  But at least Owen got outside on Easter Sunday (the 24th) to play a little in the sandbox.

And then May and June came and went.  In July Dean worked on drainage issues in the area between the sandbox and the house - he installed a French drain to deal with soggy ground.  And the kids, of course, played in the mud.

Evidently, as you can see in the picture above, Dean completed the cross pieces to complete the upper portion of the frame.  I think he did that shortly after the funeral, but I don't remember - and I don't have any pictures of it.  But this is where we remained stuck.  We knew we wanted to top it with shade fabric.  But we were stuck on how to go about it.  There needed to be some sort of framework for the fabric to be attached to so that it wouldn't sag or rip away in the wind.  It also needed to be removable, in the winter time.  And stuck we were... for a whole year!  And there was another problem as well.  The area between the sandbox and the house used to be covered in rock.  I hated the rock and we eventually removed it - ultimately using most of it in the sandbox for drainage.  What remained was dirt.  Which would promptly turn to mud any time water was applied.

9-1-11

7-23-10

Since nobody was very fond of the clean-up process, we needed to solve this issue.

 

 

1-9-12
 

2-6-12

 

3-15-12

 

5-25-12

Aha!  Now we're getting somewhere...

 

And finally inspiration hit.  We were actually surfing the web looking at pergola ideas when a roof design popped up that Dean was pretty keen on.  So he went with it...

 

6-3-12

I poked fun at the math that was involved...

I made a plastic template for the pattern needed for the shade fabric.

 

My zucchini and pumpkins finally sprouted after four weeks in the ground...

 

6-21-12

7-8-12

And then, as soon as we got back from vacation to OKC, we finished it.  One evening I pulled out the plastic template that I had made, we laid out the shade fabric on the kitchen floor, and cut out four triangles.  I sewed along the seams, and made a seam large enough to accommodate metal conduit along each edge.  I used heavy-duty nylon thread and double-sewed everything.  The next morning we stretched the fabric out, cut the conduit to length and notched the inside of each crosspiece.  The fabric is pulled tight, and the tension between all of the sides holds it in place.  When winter arrives, all we have to do is pull the conduit down on one side to release the bar, and then all of the other sides will release and we can store it until next year! 

 

7-30-12

8-14-12

One way to ease the amount of sand coming in the house is to place a bucket of water near the door.  The kids dunk their feet in the water to rinse the sand away, and then wipe their feet off before stepping inside.

 

I have no answers to the dilemma of sand in the diaper.  You're on your own, there....   If you hear of one - let me know!

 

 





Simple Woman's Daybook Entry

 

 

Outside my window... It is just after 7 am and the neighborhood is absolutely quiet, except for the crows.  There is a little cloud cover, so the sun is partially hidden - which means I can have my front blinds open for a short while, at least.  The leaves on the trees are beginning to turn just a bit - and some are even falling!  This year has been so weird - several weeks ahead of schedule, all the way through.

I am thinking... how nice it would be to be out walking right now, since it is so quiet and cool.


I am thankful... for today and tomorrow - the 2 out of 4 empty spaces on the calendar for the month.


From the Learning Rooms...  On Monday we had Rylan's first Suzuki violin lesson.  She learned how to hold the violin at rest and how to hold it when she will play.  It is actually much harder than it looks to find that 'sweet spot' where you can hold it with your chin alone.  You Tube videos have been helping us, along with the photos I took during the lesson.  We went to karate T, W, Th and F - but not yesterday because they were closed for the holiday weekend.  We got some work done, but not nearly what I would have hoped.  Tuesday was thrown off with a Dr. appt.  Normally we would be taking the last week of the month off - which is the ideal time to schedule Dr. appts, but we schooled through it this time, so it couldn't be avoided.  Several new items of curriculum arrived this week for math, science, English and writing.  The rest of the English and history/geography is scheduled to arrive midweek this coming week.  I am looking forward to the next three weeks, where we have nothing scheduled but school and the extracurriculars so we can dig into the new stuff.  Another monkey wrench in the schedule is the fact that we passed a milestone this past week: Owen is no longer napping, so our afternoons just got a lot more interesting.  And noisy.


In the kitchen...  nothing worthy of note, here...  although I am more than ready for wet, cold days and steaming crock pots of stew or chili.


I am wearing... pj's.


I am creating...   finishing the tweaking rest of the school schedule - throwing out the old and putting in the new stuff - it's getting streamlined!


I am going... nowhere - and I love that!


I am wondering... how much longer Colin will continue to afternoon nap. The days seemed numbered...

I am reading... The Magicians, by Lev Grossman.  I've read three pages.  Reading time has been scant these days....  It is our bookclub pick for September.


In the garden... Too many cherry tomatoes to count, but only maybe one or two larger tomatoes.  This season is going down as one of the worst in history.  The corn withered in the latest hotspell of the past couple weeks.  I'm curious about what the potatoes are doing.  I'm tempted to dig, just to find out.  The beets are doing well - I just keep giving them away to my dad.  I suppose it is time to think about fall planting and such, but my heart is just not in it.  I'll give it a couple of weeks.


I am hoping... That we finish the budget this weekend.  It is #1 on our project list.  We haven't had a spending guideline since April, and I hate flying financially blind.


I am looking forward to... My second cup of coffee and a bike ride with the kids later today.


I am learning... About space and Mexico.  It's what we are starting up next week.


I am hearing... Young Blood, by The Naked and Famous. I love the whistling part.


Around the house... Dean swears that he will have time to frame a doorway to the shop area in the basement this weekend.  I told him we HAVE to get the budget done.  We'll see who wins.

I am pondering... an American History curriculum for Jordan called Trail Guide to Learning.  It has a decidedly Christian slant, but with some tweaking, I think I can secularize it enough.  I'm still on the hunt for another option, but this curriculum is pretty hard to pass up.


One of my favorite things... my new iPad.  I just wish I could have some quality time with it!  At least the kids are making good use of it - and so many of the educational apps out there are so cool!


A few plans for the rest of the week... New this week... ballet/tap combo for Rylan and gymnastics for Owen!  Yep - I bit the bullet and signed them up.  The great thing is that both classes run concurrently with karate, and are within a few blocks of the dojo, so I have minimal running around to do.  I feel like a scheduling superstar!


Here is a picture for thought I am sharing...

To read more entries and visit a variety of other blogs, go here...

A pen for your thoughts...

 

 

I am suffering from "can't think of anything to write aboutitis", so I thought I would pass along a link my husband posted on his facebook page.  As some of you may know, BIC just released a new product - a pen 'designed' for women.  Here is their product description:

 

 

"BIC Cristal For Her has an elegant design - just for Her! It features a thin barrel designed to fit a women's hand. It has a diamond engraved barrel for an elegant and unique feminine style."

 

I first heard about it on NPR of all places, and I thought it was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard of.  I wanted to have a face-to-face talk with the product development team that thought this one up.  But then I thought about it... pastel-colored shavers, scented shaving cream that is way more expensive than men's shaving cream, well... just about every personal grooming product imaginable - there is a 'his' and 'hers' version.  And 'hers' is almost always more expensive. 

 

For the record, the older members in our family use Tresseme shampoo (and I use conditioner) and the younger members use Johnson&Johnson baby shampoo.  We all use the same body wash, Dial, in a fresh spring scent.  I use my husband's shaving cream - but alas, my shaver's handle is, well... pink.  (It fits the contours of my hand, right?)  But I'll be honest with you - his shavers work better because there's 1-2-3-4!!! blades!  Jordan uses that disgusting line of "Axe" body stink (introduced elsewhere.. )

 

 

Marketers have already designed pink tool boxes complete with pink-handled tools for women, aprons for men (must feature a bbq motif), and who can forget - Joey's 'man bag'.

 

 

 

But writing instruments?  Well.... would I sound like I total hypocrite if I complained that Dean's choice in pens and mechanical pencils are not my favorite?  They are absolutely huge!  He uses those big barrel types - and *yes* they actually are uncomfortable to write with.  But the average-sized pen does just fine, thankyouverymuch.

 

Here is what I prefer, even though I know you don't care in the least:

 

pencil: Ticonderoga pencils.  Perfect softness of the lead, and it erases beautifully.  They are off-limits to everybody else in the family.  MINE!

 

red pen: Pilot, fine point.  I use this pen for writing on any bills or bank statements.

 

blue pen: BIC crystal.  Not the most reliable pen in the world, but I always loved rolling it back and forth between my fingers, feeling the hard edges of the hexagonal shape - it helped me think.

 

 

So now that I have wasted about four precious minutes of your day blabbing about nothing (sorry), I'm about to waste even more of your time. 

 

You MUST go to the Amazon link for these new feminine BIC pens, click on the customer 'reviews' and read through several of them.  They are absolutely hysterical....

 

(the eyeliner one is my personal favorite..)