"What if" Scenarios...

What if...

You took your children out for lunch.  Your stepson will be leaving in a week to go spend his customary six weeks with his mom and stepdad, so you practice the art of conversation while eating by asking him what kinds of activities are planned for while he is there. 

"None". 

"You aren't going to go anywhere?"

"Well, no, I don't think so.  Well, I don't really know."

"Will you go back to that Lake that you visited last summer?"

(note - we had next to no information about this lake he had gone to last summer.  He couldn't tell us the name of the place, what it looked like, how long it took to get there... even who he was with.  Just a fountain of information isn't he??)

"Maybe.  I don't know.  I hope not because I don't really like that place.  It's all dirty and stuff.  I found a whole bunch of garbage there."

-Pause- 

(Breathe)

"What do you mean by, 'garbage'?"

"Well, in this barbed wire fence area, underneath the edge of the road, there were all these bleach bottles.  A whole pile of them!  Why would there be so many bleach bottles?"

**YES INDEED!  WHY???**

(breathe in, breathe out.  repeat.)

"You didn't touch them did you?"

"No!!  But why were they there?"

"Did you tell your mom?"

"Yeah, she just said it was some garbage.  Somebody must have been cleaning something."

"Jordan, have you ever heard of Crystal Meth?"

"No.  Is that some kind of rock?"

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

So what would you do?  What would you say?  If you don't know why I am so upset by this, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.  But just this one time.  (I will not, however, be giving it to Jordan's mom, WHO SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

This scene took place in eastern Oklahoma, at Lake Eufaula. (We just found that out last night)  In the United States, in rural areas all over the country (but concentrated in the South), people are constructing Meth labs.  They use old trailers, houses, even apartments to conduct their dirty work.  A wide variety of toxic chemicals are needed to make Methamphetamine - bleach is one of them.  You need a lot of it.  This creates a lot of waste that you need to get rid of, and because the sheer volume and unique contents of the garbage, it is a calling card that you are cooking meth.  So what to do?  Drive out on some rural road and dump it.  It is not just plain 'ol garbage though.  It is contaminated.  It is freakin' toxic!  When you see clean-up operations on the news, the authorities are wearing Haz Mat suits. 

(breathe)

So now you know what Crystal Meth is - and how to recognize the toxic waste that the whole operation leaves behind.  Jordan knows this too....now.

But wait!  Our scenario gets worse!

Jordan was brought to this **lovely** place by his mom and stepdad.  This is supposed to be a really nice lake.  Huge in fact.  The stepdad's family (a sister, I think) had just purchased some land **For real cheap!! What a deal!!**  (THREE GUESSES AS TO WHY IT WAS SO #$%@! CHEAP!) at the lake.  That is why they were there - to see the place and have a family gathering/picnic kind of deal.  Land that has a toxic meth dump site on it.  Land on which the previous owner had a trailer that was trashed while he was in the hospital.  He sold it soon after.  To step dad's relatives.  Gee.  I wonder why the trailer was trashed?  You don't really have to bit hit over the head here, to connect the dots.

We listened to Jordan talking on the phone with his mother last night to try to at least glean a few more details.  To sum it up, she thinks that we are accusing stepdad's family of cooking and dealing meth.  She is fuming mad, and asks Jordan over and over again if that is what we are saying.  That is, of course, NOT what we are saying.  She is totally missing the point.

Here is the important information that she is NOT processing:

1)  Her son, while in her care, discovered a potentially dangerous (if not deadly) pile of trash, and she did not tell us. (What was his degree of exposure?)  Or him, for that matter.

2)  He did the right thing by telling her right away what he had found.

3)  She did the wrong thing by either a) being truly ignorant and not recognizing the danger OR b) being completely negligent in making this an educational opportunity to discuss what it was that he actually found and to discuss the wide variety of dangers posed by Crystal Meth.  I think I will go with 'b'.

4) That her son is curious - and if they go back there this summer (which they might), he will look for more - just to see if he can find it.  Despite being warned of the dangers, he will go looking.  That is just who he is...

Step parenting is so hard.  I am so glad that there is this physical distance in place here, because I can imagine I would be standing on her front lawn with a bull horn quite frequently.  The nine weeks throughout the year that Jordan spends there are difficult for us to bear.  We constantly fear for what he is inadvertently being exposed to.  He has to stay in a rough neighborhood.  He has no playmates there (that is actually a good thing), but he does have one that lives near his maternal grandparents, who he plays with a couple of times a week.  We have never met this boy, so we don't know what he is like.  Jordan is not always a good judge of character.  He also lacks common sense and falls prey to pressure way to easily.  Given these circumstances, we know that it is just a matter of time of 'when' Jordan will be offered drugs.  Not 'if', but 'when'.  All we can do is educate him, educate him, educate him and hope for the best.  What Jordan does have going for him is that eventually he always tells the truth.  If he sees something odd, he will ask about it.  It may take a full year (as with the case of the bleach bottles) but he will eventually tell you.  He knows right from wrong.  He is not openly defiant.  But he is eleven... and he doesn't always stop to think before he acts.  His impulsivity could very well be his downfall.

I have no idea of the readership of this blog.  I may have touched off a firestorm here (and caused my inlaws to permanently hate me), but you know what?  I don't care - Jordan is partially my responsibility and I have to say something when his safety is jeopardized.  They don't live this life day-after-day (and see how messed up he is after a visit), and I can't hold my frustrations in any more.  I'm in therapy remember??  It isn't healthy to keep stuffing it down and hope that it will get better over time.  I am Jordan's stepmom.  I promised to love him and devote myself to his well-being the day (tomorrow!) I married his daddy.  She won't ever change.  She is who she is, and Jordan loves her and that is what is important.  All I can do is be the best mom I can be when he is here, parent my ass off, and hope that it is enough to keep him going when he is not here.

Simple Woman's Daybook Entry

Outside my window... I am looking at some very tall grass - tall enough to wave in the wind!! Time to mow. I see no storm clouds brewing over the front range, so that means no rain tonight. Boo. I'll have to water.

I am thinking...  about my mom.  Two days ago she had surgery to remove her gall bladder and a surprise benign tumor on an ovary, about the size of an orange (they were expecting a small cyst).  I will do some shopping for her today.

I am thankful... that Jordan's swim team ended yesterday.  Today is the final meet, the big City Meet, which is a very large event that we will not be attending.  It will be a madhouse of activity, and there is no way I am willing to try and keep track of three little ones in all that hub-bub.  Jordan is not a very strong swimmer, so he would have come out on the losing end of every race anyway, so I think it is better this way.

From the Learning Rooms... We get to do a full day of school today!!  We did about 3/4 on Monday, and snippets of time during the week.  It has been quite a productive week, actually.  Yesterday Rylan received a sight word book with about 80 magnetic words in it from a retired teacher friend of my mom's.  Her granddaughter is about two years older than Rylan, so she frequently passes on some of her granddaughter's things when she outgrows them.  Several of the items are educational in nature, and have been wonderful surprises!  We brought the book home and added all of the words to our All About Spelling magnetic white board.

We spent a good half-hour organizing them all sorts of ways.  By color, by letter, by favorites and by length.  We settled on a combination of length and alphabetical as a good way to keep track of our words.

We worked our way through a couple of pages in the reading book the magnets are used in conjunction with.  Rylan read through the sentence, selected the missing word from her organized word list, and placed it in the book.  I can see a multitude of activities that we can do with this.  Many thanks to Margaret for the wonderful gift!

In the kitchen...I have some pretty bare cupboards.  It is time to go grocery shopping!  The kids had instant oatmeal for breakfast, and Rylan had some cottage cheese.

I am wearing...robe and pj's.  As soon as I am done it is shower time.  No idea what I will wear tho'.

I am creating...a beautiful ceramic pasta bowl!  Look what I made last night at Mom's Night Out!!

It will look much different after it is fired in the kiln.  I will pick it up this coming Tuesday.  Last night was our homeschooling group's Mom's Night Out.  We chose to go to Artisan You.  We spent a very lovely two and a half hours creating wonderful, functional pieces of art.

It was nice to hang out with fellow moms Gail and Shawn - we haven't seen each other in awhile!  Picture if you can:  A long, rectangular working space with brick walls and wooden floors, in an old, downtown building.  We were surrounded by displays of finished ceramic and glass artwork, supplies and lots of tables for other groups.  Soft 'coffee shop' music in the background, an evening breeze blowing through the building as both back and front doors were open - as well as a fan... We could bring in drinks and food with us, so I brought a Samuel Adams Cherry Wheat with some cheese and crackers, and munched as I worked.  It was heaven!!  It as quiet, peaceful and I could actually concentrate on something!!  It has been so long since I have been able to engage my brain like that!  I miss that part of my brain... glad to know it is still operational.  There is hope for the future!

I am going... nowhere at the moment, but grocery shopping is on the list at some point today.  I want to get lessons done first.

I am wondering...how my bowl will look.  I can't wait!

I am reading...Watermelon by Marian Keyes.  Still.  Jordan and I are also reading The Omnivore's Dilemma - The Secrets Behind What You Eat (Young Readers edition) by Michael Pollan.  Jordan reads it out loud to me whenever we are in the car.  It is very enlightening and yes, disturbing.  A good read so far.  We have watched Food Inc., SuperSize Me and others - and this just goes along in line with it.  Right now we are reading about the evils of corn.  Jordan is also reading A Dog's Purpose - A Novel for Humans, by W. Bruce Cameron.  I got it from a Scholastic Book order last year, and we are finally getting around to reading it.  Well, at least Jordan has.  I still need to.  It is a tear-jerker apparently because I will routinely find Jordan crying as he progresses through the book.  The dog goes through several reincarnations, so there are several 'deaths' to work through.

I am hoping... that Jordan will remember how to calculate surface area, without me having to remind him that he is working with two dimensions, not three, for the thousandth time.  He keeps trying to do it by using volume.  We are building elaborate polyhedrons out of base ten blocks and then using them to figure the surface area during part of our lesson today.

I am looking forward to... Sunday!  It will be our 6th wedding anniversary.  Date night is roughly planned for tomorrow night, but waiting on the grandparents' availability...

I am hearing... Rylan pounding on a make-shift drum of frisbee + empty metal dog bowl.  Colin looking on and adding sound effects.  Owen running through the playroom with one of those push-popper toys.  Annoying.  Jordan has now taken over the drum and discovered that the frisbee is stuck to the dog bowl.  (air vacuum).  He is excited but can't figure out why it can do that.  Time for an impromptu physics lesson. 

Around the house...Disaster in the form of laundry awaits me upstairs.  And the second tomato bed needs to be pruned and tied again.

I am pondering...when to get outside today.. this morning would be best.  It is supposed to hit 100 today.

One of my favorite things...is creating art.  I don't do it nearly enough.

A few plans for the rest of the week...start working on the mound of laundry, mow the lawn, enjoy an evening out with my husband and get the drainage channel filled in with soil again.

Here is a picture for thought I am sharing...

This is Duke.  He is staying with us for ten days while his owner is on vacation in California.  He is a really good boy, except for when he does this.  Off!!!

To read more entries and visit a variety of other blogs, go here...

Meet the Family: Abby

Dowdy Lake, August 2010

Abby is our soon-to-be seven year old husky.  She was ten weeks old when I drove up to Wyoming one sunny Saturday in October to a ranchette to pick her up from a couple who had two breeding pairs of huskies.  She and another female litter-mate where the only ones left.  She seemed the more lively of the two so I chose her.  (Which is a laugh because Abby is the most sedentary laid-back dog you could meet).  She is registered as an agouti/white husky, but I never filed the paperwork with AKC, because I had her spayed. 

Abby is my third husky.  After raising three different dogs, I know I prefer raising a dog from as early an age as possible.  Kai, my first, I got as an 8 week old puppy.  She was 1/2 husky, 1/4 malamute and 1/4 wolf.  She was the best dog ever.  She had the most mellow disposition but she was also very loving and playful in a bit of a wolfish way.  She exhibited the best qualities of her genetic soup.  Yuki, my second, was from the shelter.  She was a husky/malamute mix.  We guessed she was just under a year old  - she was a stray.  She had evidently been through some trauma in her young life because she didn't like vets, she would bare her teeth at times, and she didn't take well to sharing anything food-related.  Kai and Yuki lived out their remaining lives together, Kai was put down in June of 2004, when she was almost thirteen, and Yuki in July of 2006, when she was thirteen.  I got Abby in October of 2004 because Yuki was pretty lonely without Kai. 



October 2004, Abby's first week at home




November 2004, Aurthur's Rock, behind Horsetooth Reservoir



Sacked out while mom is painting, Christmas Eve, 2004

 Abby did just fine after Yuki passed, she had my mom's dog, Molly, as a frequent playmate.  To tell the truth, she was probably relieved - Yuki ran the house with an iron fist, and Abby had to keep a wide berth! 

Abby is a wonderful dog, with a quiet, mellow attitude.  She sailed through obedience training, and got along with other dogs just fine, but she prefers quiet.  She developed several medical issues after I got her - most of them are immune response related - most likely from an auto-immune disease due to her genetic makeup (because she is purebred).  She is almost blind due to severe cataracts, again due to genetics.  Because of the auto-immune issues, the only vaccine that she receives is rabies, and we don't go to the dog park.  It may sound like she is a sick dog - but that was only in the first few months.  Now that we know what the triggers are, she looks healthy and has pretty good energy.

She is awesome with the kids - Colin especially.  He loves to grab fistfuls of hair... he won't really pull, I think he just likes the feel of it.  She will perk her ears up, stare at him, and then eventually get up and move if he doesn't stop.  She never really took notice when we brought each of the kids home as newborns - she gave a sniff and that was it.  She does love the highchair and the foody goodness that is certain to come, and wants inside as soon as she hears a kitchen chair scrape on the floor.

She loves to go on walks, and went camping with us for the first time last summer.  She did great.  We kept her on a long rope and she just mostly curled up and surveyed the scene.  I really like having a dog with us - they are the best barometer when something's up.  She does not jump, and actually has to be helped into the van.  Lame.  But then again, that is a good thing.  Yuki was an escape artist, and she could jump fences in her younger days... brat.

Abby's favorite place now is the new sandbox.  I think she likes the coolness - she is a husky afterall!

What a Melon Ale, belts, ugly armpits and fishing for pennies

I began my weekend early by enjoying an evening out with friends last Thursday.  We met under the pretense that we were going to discuss our latest bookclub pick, Don't Breathe a Word, but we all know that it is really just a monthly excuse to get together to eat, drink and discuss other stuff.  I saw 'What a Melon Ale' on the menu, a seasonal offering (we were at a local brew pub afterall), so I tried it.  Oh. my. goodness.  If you can imagine summertime in a glass, complete with a watermelon wedge as a garnish, then that, my friends, is What a Melon Ale.  (A blonde ale, with fresh watermelon juice).  Yummy!

Friday was a pretty light day, just swim team and swimming lessons, and a playmate came over to spend the afternoon.  She brought her American Girls dolls, so Rylan was one happy little girl!




Colin looking on as Rylan and Owen have their lessons



Saturday morning was devoted to karate belt testing.  Rylan was moving up to purple, and Jordan was earning his orange.  Testing lasts about an hour for each of them, so it was a full morning.



Naomi and Jordan demonstrate behind-the-back wrist grabs  (the girl that Jordan likes...)



Saturday evening was a night out for Dean and I - we were off to a concert!!  A few years ago, Harley Davidson built a huge complex just off of the interstate, near Loveland.  They constructed a large amphitheatre as well, and put on about 5 concerts each summer.  Several weeks ago I saw that Kenny Wayne Shephard was performing there and I snatched up tickets faster than a biker can hop on his hog.  The concert was wonderful - he performed several of my favorites.  The lightning show all around us was fantastic, and we got rained on a little - but we were prepared.  It was entertaining to watch the ones who weren't.  KWS is a blues man, but the concert goers were a (ahem) rather colorful group of people.  I saw a lot of women in tank tops that were exposing a lot more than they probably realized.  I tried to just focus on the stage.  Dean also pointed out the sad fact that we always seem to get stuck behind a group of stupid drunk women who are still single for obvious reasons.  My Droid took terrible pictures, this is the only decent one I got..  That's Noah in the white, and Kenny in the black.



Kenny finished the concert with a ten minute long performance of Hendrix's Voodoo Child.  I remarked to Dean, "No wonder Woodstock went on for days.... the songs are never ending!!"

If you aren't familiar with KWS, I included this audio treat just for you - an instrumental number called 'While We Cry'...  Lean back, close your eyes, and just let the music transport you - think of it as a six minute mini-vacation!

On Sunday, Jordan and I participated in the Mother & Son Amazing Race, put on by our city's Parks & Rec. department.  We were one of seventy teams that attended the event.  We had to complete 10 different tasks, plus a couple of extra surprise ones.  It took us a little over an hour to finish.  We had a lot of fun! 

Here were our tasks:

(Extra) - Join up with the next team to arrive at station, and 'toss' a water balloon back and forth, using only a beach towel stretched between each team.

1. Fish around in a baby pool filled 8 inches deep with green oatmeal and locate 10 pennies.

2. Water bucket brigade - transport water from one bucket to another, using just a plastic cup.

3. Indoor obstacle course.

4. Choice between spoonful of 'mystery food' inside a can labeled 'Dog Food', or transport six dumbbells, one at a time, across a room and back.

5.  Keep a balloon up in the air, hitting it back and forth for 30 seconds, without using your hands.

(Extra) - shake two different step counters to a combined total of 200 'steps'as quickly as possible

6.  Lego building challenge (just assembling and then disassembling a small lego kit)

7. Newspaper leapfrog - get across a gym floor using only two pieces of newspaper.  BUT.  You both have to be on the same piece, at the same time.  So you stand on one (holding on to each other helps), and then scoot the piece you just stepped off of around from behind you and get it in front of you again.  Repeat.

8.  Scooter canoeing.  Kneel on a little square scooter and use a rubber-tipped stick to push yourself across the gym floor.

9. Toilet paper toss.  Toss a roll of TP through a target (much like a football)

10.  Remember each and every helper's name that operated each station (we were given the advice before hand to remember their names) and write them down in order - that was hard!

We each got a t-shirt and enjoyed some bbq afterwards.  It was a very hot afternoon, and we both sweated and panted as we raced back and forth, but we had a good time!  It was interesting (and a little sad) that we witnessed some mom and son teams blatantly cheating - what kind of role modeling is that??  You could also tell which moms were in it TO WIN, and dragged their sons along to do so.  Kudos to the teams where the moms made it fun and exciting.  This was the inaugural year for this event, but alas, Jordan was at the top of the age range, so he won't be able to participate again.  Hopefully the event will be bigger and better when Owen's turn comes around in a couple of years.  Boys K-5 can participate.



In the meantime, my dear husband worked and worked on the computer all weekend to get a project for work finished on time.  He had to man the little ones as well, while I ran back and forth to all of our events.  Thanks hon!  I am now making up for lost time on the computer.... can you tell?

Buckle up!



This morning as I was barreling down the road at 40mph...

Sweet Little Voice from way in the back seat:  Mommy!!

Me: Whatee??

SWL: Buckle me!!

Thank you Owen, for looking out for yourself today.  Your mommy obviously needs more coffee.

Wordless Wednesday



Alongside Cache LaPoudre River, near Rustic, CO.  April 9, 2010
When I spotted him, I shouted out so loud, Dean nearly drove us into the river.



Meet the Family: Colin

16 months, June 2011

Colin very nearly became the baby who wasn't to be.   I didn't trust that he was safe and sound until he was delivered and placed in my arms.  Such a sweet, sweet boy.  He was an easy-going infant - and thank goodness for that - it was a real struggle at times to manage every body's needs during that first year.  I wish that I had taken the time to document our days, but then again I am glad I didn't because I was really struggling with PPD, and the posts would have been angry and depressing. (it would seem that some days they still are!!  sorry 'bout that...)

The pregnancy was absolutely nerve-wracking.  After the initial horrific episode of what could only defined as a 'very large bloodclot', I still had unexplained bouts of profuse bleeding for the next 3-4 weeks.  It was awful.  I laid down a lot.  It is hard to parent from a couch.  We got through it, and from about week 24 onward it was smooth sailing.

Colin was born in early February, and I chose to breastfeed him.  He nursed like a champ in the beginning,  but by about the five month mark, his interest was waning.  It was August, it was hot, and my period had returned.  By September, he was getting very skinny.  I could feel his bones whenever I held him - yet (stupid me) alarm bells weren't going off for me.  When he had his six month appt. in late August, they didn't like what he weighed.  He was in the third percentile.  They wanted to weigh him again in a week.  By that next appointment, he had lost several more ounces.  Tests!!!  Let's do some tests!!  Lots of blood draws, finger pokes, urine and stool samples!!  Well, everything came back normal.  More ounces were lost.   He was now off the charts.  We had to get a baby scale and weigh him before and after every feeding.  Finally *I* figured it out that because my period had returned, my milk production had dramatically fallen off...  (doctors... *snort*)  It was time to introduce him to formula.  All this took place during the month of September, and we had planned to go on vacation in late Sept/early Oct.  We left on our trip and traveled though KS, OK, TX, LA, MS, GA, FL, TN, and AR...in ten days.  It was actually a very nice vacation that went very smoothly.  We made a lot of bottles along the way - it was actually more convenient than breastfeeding (gasp!  Did I just say that??).  Here is a photo of Colin, in Galveston, TX, at the beach.



8 months, Oct 2010

This photo was taken shortly after Colin started on the bottle.  He is so skinny!  It is hard for me to look at - but then I realize how far he has come in eight months.  Compare it to the picture above, taken about three weeks ago.  Whoo-hoo!  I can't help myself - I squeeze his meaty little thighs about a hundred times a day.  It must be a primal thing.

So now that Colin has been crisis-free for several months, he has really grown (no pun intended) into his own person.  He is the class clown of the family.  Thank goodness we homeschool because he would be the thorn in every teacher's side.  He loves to do something outlandish and then looks around to see who has been entertained by it.  So then he does it again.  and again.  and again.  Bowl of oatmeal or yogurt?  On top of the head it goes.  He will make faces, make noises, spin in circles, play peek-a-boo - anything to make you laugh.  He also likes to 'talk' with Abby and Kitty.  He will howl with along with Abby when she is excited about something, and he will make sweet little sounds as he toddles behind Kitty.  They both tolerate him pretty well - especially Abby, since he grabs big handfuls of her fur quite a bit.

Here is a sweet little photo of our baby boy - a joy that is long overdue in sharing!



Colin, 11 days old